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Friday, November 29, 2002

Let it not be said that my life would make an excellent sh*tty romance novel.


MOOD: happy yet sad/sad yet happy

BACKGROUND: Neil Diamond (classic break up music)


She broke up with me.


Single again. Funny, that. Sounds kinda funny.


Single Steve.


No making this some sort of big, dramatic, down on myself thing. F*ck that stuff, you know? I've been way to down for the past year to go through that again. She's getting divorced, newly single, and she says that she needs to learn to be alone now, learn to be strong, and although she loves me and still wants to be withe forever, she needs to learn how to be herself and be strong by herself.


And other chick bullsh*t like that.


How am I coping with this?


I dunno. I'm not kill myself, my life is pointless Steve right now, which I should be, in all honesty, but I'm not sad, either. I'm just here, just me. Just sort of empty and in pain and sad but in this strange, silent, subconscious way that I can't really put into words. It's just there somewhere inside myself, this hole where she used to be, maybe still is.


And that's that. I imagine I'll cry later, maybe tomorrow. But not now. Not now.


Now I'm going downtown. By myself. Going to go see a local band play, the Knockoffs and the Riff Randals live at the Distillery. WAS going to take her, but she left me, so I'm taking me there.


And that's that, I guess.

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