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Friday, January 17, 2003

Here's why I did not go and see punk band The Used last night.


MOOD: nervoussadtired

BACKGROUND: The Get Up Kids "On a Wire"


See! Already in your head you're saying "The Used? Oh, wait, they're that band from The Osbournes."


Now, I bought their debut self-titled album a handful of months ago, a while ago. I bought it on sale at my local Dimple records after I had heard their song "Buried Myself Alive" on a CD collection that a friend had bought me. Grest song, great voice, honest lyrics. Really dug the song and decided to go for the whole album.


So I went out and bought the sucker and instantly fell in love with it. Went on the internet, went on their web page, learned about them, and got to a point where I could say with happiness and no fear of retribution that I called myself a fan on the band. And when I heard about three, four weeks ago that they were coming to concert at the Boar dwalk, my favorite small, dank, smokey concert place two hours away in Orangevale, I got very excited and said to everyone I knew that I was going to go see them.


I called the box office to see how their tickets were moving. Guy says no need to grab tickets. They weren't going anywhere and I get all excited. Gonna see the Used. Gonna see the Used. This is gonna kick so much ass.


Then everything went down the fucking toilet. It started with the lead singer, Bert, dating fucking Kelly Osbourne, the girl from the cover of YM magazing and fucking Girl Beat. So then, it started going around the talkative wheel, people who had never even fucking heard of the fucking band all of a sudden talking about them. I heard about it first when I was talking to my middle aged, white, SUV-driving, un-hip, white bread, stick-up-his-ass, Cosby sweater-wearing manager about how I needed thursday off for the Used concert and he just vomits up ...


"Ohyou'regonnaseetheusedyouknowtheleadsingerBertsomethingisdatingKellyOsbourne."


That really pissed the shit out of me. Suddenly this fucking loser middle aged fucking honky is talking about the Used like he's a fucking fan. He never heard the songs "The Taste of Ink" and "A Box Full of Sharp Objects" and read the lyrics in the liner notes along with the songs to try and see what they are really trying to go for emotionally. No. Fuck that. He knows that the lead singer's dating Kelly Osbourne.


Starch my fucking shorts, right?


Then, and this was the last straw, the final fucking straw in the whole situation, was the entire episode of the show the Osbournes dedicated to fucking Kelly and Bert. Kelly and Bert. Kelly, Miss My Album Sucks Ass But It's Okay Because I'm Ozzy's Daughter and this Bert guy. A whole episode of the show dedicated to fucking Kelly and Bert.


And why does this piss me off?


I was a fan. I was a fucking fan of the Used. I did the perfect fan thing, accidentally stumbled on them and fell in love with them. And they were mine, me and all the other small collective of fans who liked them for their music and their talent. We, the fucking fans. And now the entire collective is being anally raped by all these fucking posers who call themselves fans because of the wrong fucking reasons.


Teeny bopping little girls who don't know shit about music, don't know shit about punk, don't know shit about life, who think that just because they used daddy's money to go to the mall and buy an $80 black goth ensemble (WITH Avril tie) at the local Hot Topic that they're fucking punk. These bastards are now fellow Used fans. And that pisses the shit out of me. People who know jack shit about the Used beyond the fact that the lead singer was on an episode of the Osbournes are now Used fans.


Yesterday, I saw a picture of Kelly and Burt in fucking People magazine, fucking Kelly and Bert in People magazine. The other day, I saw them playing fucking TRL. TRL?!? So now they are in the same status as all the other artists that have played TRL - Mariah Carey, Hootie and the Blowfish, Usher, Vanessa Carlton, and fucking Kelly's Bert fron the fucking Used.


You don't know who they are? You know, they're that one band from The Osbournes.


So I sucked up my musical pride and convinced myself that I should go to the show anyway, right? I mean, they're still an amazing band and that should matter above all else. Their album still kicks ass and that should take precedence above who's a fan and who's not. So I sucked up my pride and went out there, drove the two hours, and went to the box office to get me some tickets.


Same guy I called is there at the place and says to me oh, Used tickets? They're sold out now. Oh yeah. They sold out right after they were on the Osbournes.


So fuck Bert and fuck the Used and more importantly fuck their new poser fans. Once Kelly and Bert break up and all the posers leave, maybe I'll speak differently, but right now I'm fucking pissed and rightfully so.


Can you believe this?


I hate music.

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