NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, January 24, 2003

Why the fuck is my page here all long like this, or is it just my old, slow, pornified laptop?


MOOD: just kind of takenbackquietstunned

BACKGROUND: The Grindcore Poppies


I appear to be having some temporary blogging problems that causes my blog to become about nine miles horizontally in a neat but annoying as all fuck sort of way.


On the negative side, my blog is all longified in a way that makes it hard to read. On the positive side, I mean, yeah, sure, I have over 3,000 followers of the religion I created in 1996 and yeah I've been on Mark and Brian and Mancow and mentioned on Howard Stern and all that, but, I mean, come on, like anyone actually reads this shit. I mean, Hitler buttraped my mother and shit in my dead grandmother's puss-ridden occular cavities - could I say that if anyone actually read this crap? So this blog could be nine feel long horizontally with nude pictured of Neil Diamond for all I fucking care, just as long as I still get a podium to write in.


Oh, and speaking of no one reading this, here's a tip for you. And this goes doubly so when you're sober, ok? It might seem like a fun time to waste away your boredom, looking half-assed on the internet for old friends and old flames, but, hey, just don't, okay? Just don't. Not that it's not fun. It's just a tit bit spooky, you know? Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.


My life is a lot better than I give it credit for, you know? It's this whole not drinking/not smoking thing which, in retrospect, is the stupident fucking thing I've ever thought up. Sobriety is turning me into a stick up my ass little prick, an anal retentive asshole, a short tempered, easily offended, no fun at all loser. A Christian republican, basically (ladies and gentlemen, the extent of my political humor, GOOD NIGHT!).


The drunk Steve-O was much more fun. he never gave a shit about anything. I mean, sure he destroyed things with his ex-fiance, but that would have happened eventually, I mean, who are we kidding? All I'm saying is that, no, I'm not seeing myself drinking anytime soon. All I'm saying is that I can see Drunk Steve-O doing a pay-per-view match a few months from now, maybe when my friend Jason gets out of prison or something.


That's be something to see.

No comments: