BACKGROUND: Green Apple Quick Step "Reloaded"
I figured since today is Valentine's Day and I am the most single man in Sacramento that I would be a lot more sad, more depressed, more emo than I find myself feeling. I mean, sure I'm feeling a bit sad and lonely sitting here alone with my Carl's Jr. and my Kazaa downloading Busta Rhymes songs and my cold coffee right next to my large Coke and my heavy memories of love with my ex-fiance and my Collyne. But I'm not too sad, too lonely. I'm not kicking my own ass or swimming in my tears and I still seem to have a positive aura around me that reminds me that everything is going to be alright.
I seem to attract, or better yet, be attracted to women that aren't your typical women. I seem to gravitate towards women that refuse to stay at home and wash the clothes or anything like that. I get the different women, the short, crazy haired, rebel women who smoke and spit and don't take any shit from anyone. So in every relationship I've ever had I've had the woman who thinks that Valentine's Day is just a stupid marketing ploy to make Americans buy products, you know?
And all of that sucks because in reality I'm very much a traditional guy. I want to buy the flowers and dress up for a night on the town. I want to lavish a woman with affection on Valentine's Day. And it sucks that I can't, that I'm going to spend this friday night, this Valentine's Day, watching Spiper-Man again and daydreaming about the perfect woman and what she'll look like when I finally meet her. Praying that I haven't already met her.
Trying to stay positive today. Took myself to go see the new Big Budget Bastardiization of a Comic Book movie this afternoon. Better than I expected. And of course, me being mister low-level comic book geek, I geeked out over the plethora of in-jokes hidden in the film for people who know who Brian Michael Bendis is or what Frank Miller looks like. Went out and bought me some music after that. Good stuff. Taking Back Sunday, Ash, Groovie Ghoulies, Transplants, Elvis Costello. Trying to be happy with just myself which I found to be very difficult when everywhere I turned I saw people holding hands and kissing and telling each other how much they loved each other. I remember that.