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Sunday, September 12, 2004

Nothing worse than coming home from a long day's work to an empty house.


MOOD: blank

BACKGROUND: "What We Saw" CBS documentary on 9-11


Natasha has been working two jobs and I've been doing my work running the kids department. But one of her jobs has !finally! stepped up her schedule, so she has something like 15 straight days of work. So we haven't been seeing too much of us. And I've been going through some serious stress lately. So, yes, sure, we still both love and care for each other and we were still meant to be together. It's just been a bit difficult lately.


So I just got off work. I was closing tonight. Horrible night. Lots of running around and idiots on the phone and a lot of dumb, ignorant rednecks being assholes. Lots of craziness. And my mind was seriously elsewhere all night. So, what was GOING to happen was that I was going to come home, cuddle with my baby, and fall asleep, the two of us holding each other. But this guy at work is turning 40 and Tasha is really close with him because they're both cool and both into the same sort of stuff
(meaning they're both freaks)


So she decided to go to his birthday party tonight. She told me that she'd only be there for a little bit and that she's be home when I got off work but right before I got off work she called and asked me if I wanted to meet her there. I could have gone but I've been working all night, I'm tired, I'm sore, my stomache hurts, my feet are on fire. Last thing I want to do in this tired, exhausted state is to hang out with Amanda and Sema, no offense meant to either of them.


Now I'm vaguely upset. I've been vaguely upset a lot lately. I've been here for over a half hour and no Tasha at all. That's sad. That's really sad. I'm feeling sad and lonely and all sorts of sniffling over here.


So?


So if you're going to do something, you might as well go all the way with it. You only live once and only for so long, right? So right now I'm watching a documentary on the events of September 11th, 2001 and it's depressing the high holy fuck outta me. I bought it at work for exactly $3.78 and I did so because, like I just said, I figured that if I was going to be sad then I might as well go the full nine and not pussy out about it, you know? You might as well go all the way with whatever you do, including sadness, so I here I am in a lonely house drinking bad mexican beer and watching a 9-11 documentary. Here I am going all the way with my sadness. And why the fuck not, right? Hell, it was either watch this or watch Schindler's List.


Which would still make a kick ass musical, Tom!

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