BACKGROUND: Spongebob Squarepants singing "Inflatable Pants"
For a long time there, I had forgotten what it was like to be happy. For a really long time I actually thought that happiness no longer existed. Look back at previous writings here and you'll see a sad, pathetic little triangle scene painted out before you, one of violence and anger and sadness and crying and drunken false emotins that was all a bunch of pathetic bullshit in hindsight. Read it if you want to. It was painfully embarasing back then but now I see it all for what it really was - stupid drunk bullshit.
Ever since the new millenium the only thing that has been cheering me up was my work with Woodism, the religion that I created in 1996. It should have come from friends and family and loved ones but I was lost and confused and drunk and my life and priorities were completely out of whack. It took a lot of sobriety and a lot of relationship troubles to finally find a life worth living, a life full of happiness and comfort with my beautiful WoodianAngel and our incredible little daughter. Now I am happy. I have crawled my way out of the deepest pits of hell, crawling through my own manmade pain and anger and blood and tears and I now find myself smiling, quietly content with my life and everything around me.
That's not to say that my life is 100% happiness and joy. My life is perfection inside our little apartment where it's just the three of us. It's once we leave our home and exit into the real world that everything goes to hell.
First off, I want to thank everyone who sent me their warm birthday wishes, even those special people who I haven't heard from or seen in what seems like a really long time, for even you are still in my heart. My birthday was a wonderful one. I ate a ton of food and watched a ton of wrestling and played a ton of video games and opened a lot of kick ass presents including that unaired season three of "Sifl and Olly" that I've always wanted to watch.
Sitting there watching new episoes of my favorite show, I couldn't help but feel like it was 1997 and me and Tom were sitting on the barstools of my parent's kitchen at 11:30 pm on a thursday. It was a great feeling, one that wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a cold winter's day. It was a great birthday, one that I will never forget.
And yes, I got my tattoo. Don't tell my parents about my tattoo. Not that I care at the present moment about my parents and their feelings. I still feel a bit cross about my parents last visit. My father didn't seem to have any time to spare for me, which is the story of his life, and my mother did nothing but criticize me about how I look. HELLO!! I'M TWENTY-FUCKING-SEVEN!! I have my own place and my own car and my own fucking FAMILY now, so could you please stop telling me to cut my hair for one goddamn second like I'm fourteen years old, mom.
I am happy to announce that, with the help of officially cannonived Woodian saint and host of television's Cinema InsomniaMr. Lobo, that we are nearing closer and closer to having a specific date to announce for ED-WOODSTOCK, an all-day festival of punk and rock bands and Edward D. Wood Jr. movies that will happen sometime in October at Sacramento's legendary Crest theater. Yes, it WILL happen and it will be hosted by both Mr. Lobo and myself and it will be a happy, upbeat festival for all ages and all people of all kinds, a real Woodian gathering of positivity!
There is a wacko late night summer cult movie festival here in Sacramento, California called the Trash Film Orgy and it's an irreverant, outrageous, offensive late night movie festival that really brings in the goths and the punks and the stoners and the artists and the rockabillies and the Bettie Page chicks and it really is a great time, but unfortunately it also brings out the assholes and the drunks and the dicks and the tweekers and the yuppies and a whole bunch of undesirables. So you get all those groups together and what should be a wonderful time usually turns out to be a horrible time that suddenly becomes centered around getting high and yelling and getting drunk and screaming "faggot" and getting violent. And that's not what Woodism is all about.
So what we hope to do with Woodism is to get the rockers and the punkers and the mall people and the art lovers and the hipsters and the ravers and the goths and everybody and bring them together but not under an umbrella of anger or ostentatiousness. We will bring them all together under an inviting umbrella of Ed Wood. It is my dream and soon we will be able to announce it officially. Untill then ...