BACKGROUND: "The kombucha mushroom people ..."
Nobody in this entire planet earth ... not Christy Canyon, not Nina Hartley, not Jenny Weston, not Danni Ashe, not Debby Bell, not even Jenna fucking Jameson ... is having as much sex as I am having right now.
And if someone on this earth IS actually having more sex than me, then there ain't no way they're enjoying it as much as me.
WANTED: one brave soul to download the following songs and e-mail them to ReverendSteve@edwood.org for assimilation into my ipod ...
Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days
Helix - Heavy Metal Love
Helix - Don't Get Mad Get Even
Helix - Gimme Gimme Good Lovin'
Helix - The Kids Are All Shakin'
Helix - Deep Cuts The Knife
I am under the opinion that the eighties Canadian glam metal band Helix is in fact the greatest WORST band in the history of music. Helix is a serious version of what The Darkness is trying to do humorously. But all their albums cost like $20-30 in America, and there ain't no way I'm going to pay that much for something I'm going to laugh at unless it contains either Eddie Izzard, Dane Cook or Michael Ian Black.
Plus I've always loved that Springsteen song, despite always hating Springsteen.
Man, do yourself a favor RIGHT NOW ... head to Dane Cook's website and, on the right of the page, click on the "AUDIO/VIDEO" section. There, watch Dane's May 27th, 2005 appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Dane Cook is presently the funniest man on the face of this earth and this video clip is proof positive of that.
Buy his album right now. And, hell, if you have that kind of spending money for such a random purchase, then keep spending and go to my Church of Ed Wood merchandise page and help me afford Dane Cook's new CD which "drops" later this month.
Peace out, niggaz.