NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

BUY your way into my new FILM (?!?) ...



This is a picture of me in front of the Golden Gate bridge. It is, I feel, the single greatest "cheesy" Golden Gate picture ever taken. And I will be spending a lot of time near the Golden Gate this October. And I'm going to be naked. And killing people.


So, like I said before, I just landed a part in an incredibly well written, tense, freaky as all hell horror-thriller to be shot in October entirely on location in Alcatraz. It is the first film to ever be entirely shot on Alcatraz Island in the San Francisco Bay and it will be starring actor Larry Holden from the movies Batman Begins and Memento ... and co-starring MY BROWN ASS! Can you believe that? I'm going to spend most of my October being naked in a "bug out" room in Alcatraz while strange people are filming me. I can't believe it. I'm getting too old for this shit. I mean, I know I'm only 28 but still. Too old, I tells ya.


Anyhoo, there's now an official WEB SITE for the movie and in it there's an incredible slide show of location photos which does a great job of giving the viewer a glimpse of exactly why Alcatraz is perfect for a horror movie.


Also, in what is either a brilliant move of one of the fucking craziest moves ever in the history of motion pictures, certain select roles in the movie will be auctioned off on ebay. That's either brilliant or idiotic but either way incredibly fucking interesting. I am now officially "stoked" as all fucking hell to do this movie.


I guess I should start ... you know ... like, learn all my lines now.




This is the director of the movie. His real name is Jason Alexander but once Sinefeld hit, he changed his name to Michael Alesandro. We've known each other since way back in my theater days in Arizona. I was the first to start calling him "Mr. Michael" and it's something that somehow managed to stick on to him even now, like eight or nine years later. The best part about Mr. Michael, apart from his creative mind and wonderfully open nature and friendly demeanor and cute wife ...


... is his BIG FAT fuckin' MAN CHOPS! Look at them! Them there's TEXAS sized chops, man, shit! I love Mr. Michael's big fat man chops. They are rivalled only by my coworker friend Ian's big fat man chops. But, sorry Ian, Mr. Michael has the ALPHA man chops 'roung here. And all I can do is hope and pray that one day I too will have big fat man chops like Mr. Michael.


One more time for good measure ... BIG FAT fuckin' MAN CHOPS!

1 comment:

Gregorio said...

Congratulations, by the way, on this success. I have to admit a certain degree of jealousy... seeing as how I'm LIVING IN LA, trying to do this thing, and can't even get a FUCKING AGENT. *ahem* But all the same, seriously, congratulations.

You should come down to the next rollerskating/bowling/whatever thing I organize.