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Sunday, August 7, 2005

People at Chili's are fucking each other ...

The other day my wife and daughter and I all went to Chili's. All the managers at my work got together and bought me a $50 gift certificate because of how kick ass I made our Midnight Magic Party. That was nice of them. It's more than Missy would have done. So we went to Chili's and we're pigging out on $15 steaks and stuff like that. We're seated right next to the bathroom and the kitchen but I don't mind. That's a prime people-watching spot.


So I'm sitting there eating and freaking out at how good everything is, and I see one of the managers, a big, bulky white buff jock sort of guy. I'm sure there's a neck there somewhere. He's standing near the bathrooms checking out all the super skinny waitresses that I want to tie down and force feed bacon ultimate cheeseburgers to. All of a sudden I'm reminded of an article from The Onion, an old one with the headline Waitstaff Tired of Sleeping with Each Other and I start wondering if he's slept with anybody at his work. Once I think that, one of the waitresses walks into the kitchen but stops at the entrance, turns all cheesy America's Next Top Model-like, and just stares at him and he stares at her.


And that's when I realized, shit, that's the look I used to give Natasha at work when she would pass the kid's section and just hours before we had had some incredibly dirty, sweaty, foul, nasty porn star-like sex. That look like you're trying to set their eyes on fire with your mind.


Holy shit, I thought, those two are fucking each other!


And I almost said that out loud but the mouthfull of steak halted that. Thank god for text messaging.


Anyway, that's my story. GVWA Deviance results will be posted sometime tomorrow. I'm halfway donw with the show right now. It's damn good.

1 comment:

Gregorio said...

It's true, I'm pretty tired of fucking the waitstaff at Islands.