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Saturday, September 24, 2005

Randy, Jason, and Celine Dion ...

The funniest television show on the air today is called "Cheap Seats" hosted by Randy and Jason Skylar, probably better known as those twins on every VH1 docucountdown. They MST3K old ESPN sports broadcasts, occasionally with the help of someone from Mr. Show, The State, or the Cartoon Network's pure genius cartoon Home Movies. It's honestly the single funniest show on television today and it's worth obsessing over.


Here's their web site with a lot of hilarious celebrity clips. They're a bit hard to understand without the individual episode's context, but they're all still funny as hell. Check it out.


Just don't enter the contest.


See, they're running a contest where they'll pick the biggest Cheap Seats fan and do a show at their house on their couch. And I just submitted my own entry. I told them about my couch, about my family, and mentioned that I have my own religion based on director Ed Wood and I think that last part is what possibly puts me in contention beyond your regular Joe Schmo applicant.


They also ask you to send in a picture of your couch, so here's mine ...




That's my pimp couch. And I'm crossing my fingers in the hopes that Randy and Jason pick me and come to my beaten up little trailer and grace me with an episode of the coolest show on television.


So during that whole kerfuffle over Hurricane New Orleans, a weapy Celine Dion appeared on Larry King and went on one of the stupidest emotional rants in the history of mankind, at one point saying that the rescuers should all get kayaks and start kayaking down New Orleans saving people, two at a time.


This is what that would look like ...




Celine Dion, that French Canadian bitchwhore. She's a zombie. I'm telling you. Look at her cheek bones, her arms, her face. She either has an eating problem or a LIVING problem because she's really a french zombie, the worst kind of zombie.


When she lost it on CNN, she was a speaking in the worst broken english ever. She said "I open up the tv" and "Yes, we gave a million dollar." That's a good one. The best one is that what she saw wwhen she open up the tv made her so emotional that she said "I barely can sing." Damn, bitch, I could have told you that.


Here is a link to a hilarious "Celine Dion loses it on CNN soundboard." Check it out. It's funny and also incredibly pathetic. For Celine.

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