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Monday, October 10, 2005

IT'S WOODMAS!!!



HAPPY WOODMAS!


Today, October 10th, is Woodmas, on this day, our savior was born! This is our CHRISTMAS and it is the holiest day in the Woodian callendar, the heavenly Ed Wood Christmas, the day that Edward D. Wood Jr. was born! Rejoyce, oh faithful Woodites of the world, for on this day the transvestite director Eddie Wood was born! Rejoyce, drink, smoke, be merry, and spend the day celebrating the life and films of Ed Wood! Give gifts that aren't great and do those things that you do not normally do that make you feel good. Todat is a day for feeling good and partying, living as Ed Wood lived. Woodmas is our Christmas, except without all that bullshit about church. More drinking and less praying. That's Woodmas.


To celebrate Woodmas and all its glories, click here to listen to Reverend Steve and his then two-year-old daughter Emerald singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ED WOOD!


Here is some background info. on Woodmas ...


Woodmas was first coined by Reverend Steve Galindo in 1997. It was celebrated by Steve and his older brother Joe by drin king two full bottles of Jack Daniels and watching Ed Wood movies. Since then, Steve has celebrated Woodmas every year with much drinking. This is the fourth year Steve's celebrated Woodmas in Sacramento and the third year he's celebrated it with his own family.


There aren't a lot of crappy rituals on Woodmas, although it is unofficially customary on Woodmas to wear the clothes of the opposite sex to remember Ed throughout the day. It doesn't necessarily have to be full on drag, mind you. Maybe it can just be a pair of panties or a jock strap or a nice cotton thong or something. Or it could be full on drag, what the hell. It's up to you, however you want to remember Ed Wood best.


Here's the best part of Woodmas ... no one who is either a legally baptized Woodite or a casual Ed Wood fan should have to work on this day. Hell yeah! I mean, this is Woodmas, people. It transcends religious beliefs and cultural barriers. This is a holy day of the biggest order. Some people might laugh at you or call you a freak and the people at your work might not believe you and your family might think you're insaine, but this is the day that we thank the fates that allowed Ed Wood to be here on this earth to make his amazing, mind-blowing films, his giftf to us. Low-level gifts are usually given for Woodmas and, like Ed's films, they should not be that great. They should come from the heart but also be very cheap like Ed's films. And if you drink, this is the day to get ripped out of your damn mind. Ask for the next day off as well, to sober up.


When I was in high school I got upset that there were all these religious types that got days off school when I had to stay in school and work my brown ass off. All these catholics and christians getting the day off because of the Holy Feast of Saint Jayhoobah Alderan of Entitilitis and all those mormons and jews out there getting days off to go pray and stuff while I still had to sit on my stupid desk and listen to stupid teachers drone on and on about stupid laws. That was a ripoff, in my point of view. I wanted days off, too! So I made a list of important dates in the life of Ed Wood and his fellow actors so that I could get a few days off school. The same went for when I got my first job, a horrible video store job that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy or even Michael Jackson, that young cancer-patient-molesting freak. So once I created my own religion I made this old list of important dates legal holy days so that those that claim Woodism as their official religion could flip off the christians and the catholics and get few days off of work for their OWN religion. And I've been doing it ever since, with today, Woodmas, being the highest holy day of the entire year!


Tonight, October 10th, there is going to be a big drunk Woodmas bash at a tiny little smoke-filled dirtbar in Sacramento called the Maple Room. It is located at 2740 Arden Way across the street from the post office. It will be a Woodmas celebration and a celebration of Ed Wood's life and films by means of getting wasted. It will also be a very late 21st birthday party for my wife, Woodian Angel Natasha, who wasn't able to drink on her birthday due to her with-child-edness. But now that the baby's out of there, it's on now. So join us for a Woodmas/Late 21st Birthday bash tonight starting at 9pm. Hope to see you there!

1 comment:

Jess said...

I have done thy bidding, oh Holy Reverend. Live Journal says it can take a few days for the syndication to start running, if it doesn't kick in I'll e-mail them to give me a hand and make sure I used the right RSS url. Oddly enough, I accidentally added your RSS feed to my MyYahoo! so I've got you there now too. As soon as I know the feed is running on LJ I'll be all over the place letting users know. :)