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Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Woodmas plans with "the society" ...

I know I've somehow managed to earn a tiny little smidgen of fame with my web site. I've been in a ton of major newspapers and magazines and I've been on the radio a million times over. I've done pretty well for myself. My religion, which I've had for almost nine years now, is still going strong and being well received now that people are realizing that its here to stay. And I occasionally get recognized by somebody who has heard of Woodism or read the article in Premiere or the National Enquirer.


But the real sign that I'm somewhat famous came last week. My new daughter, Isabela, we took her to the doctor for her two week check up. And her pediatrician recognized me. He said, right in the middle of the exam, "Wait a minute, I didn't realize we had a famous person here" and shook my hand and started talking to be about, in his words, my "Ed Wood society."


Society? It's a religion, a church, a cult, but I've never heard it called a "society," like its some sort of secret society that only a select few know about. I feel I should have some sort of secret password and meet my fellow "society" members in some forrest by candlelight.


Speaking of my "society," Woodmas is coming up. For those of you that aren't in the know, October 10th is the Woodian Christmas, the holiest day on the Woodian calendar and the biggest day of the year for Woodites and casual Ed Wood fams worldwide. It's a day of utter happiness for all right thinking people on this planet for on this day our savior Edward D. Wood Jr. was born, sent to preach and promote his messages of love and self-acceptance. Woodmas is our Christmas, except without all that bullshit about church. More drinking and less praying. That's Woodmas.


There aren't a lot of crappy rituals on Woodmas, although it is unofficially customary on Woodmas to wear the clothes of the opposite sex to remember Ed throughout the day. It doesn't necessarily have to be full on drag, mind you. Maybe it can just be a pair of panties or a jock strap or a nice cotton thong or something. Or it could be full on drag, what the hell. It's up to you, however you want to remember Ed Wood best.


Here's the best part of Woodmas ... no one who is either a legally baptized Woodite or a casual Ed Wood fan should have to work on this day. Hell yeah! I mean, this is Woodmas, people. It transcends religious beliefs and cultural barriers. This is a holy day of the biggest order. Some people might laugh at you or call you a freak and the people at your work might not believe you and your family might think you're insaine, but this is the day that we thank the fates that allowed Ed Wood to be here on this earth to make his amazing, mind-blowing films, his giftf to us. Low-level gifts are usually given for Woodmas and, like Ed's films, they should not be that great. They should come from the heart but also be very cheap like Ed's films. And if you drink, this is the day to get ripped out of your damn mind. Ask for the next day off as well, to sober up.


This monday, October 10th, there is going to be a big drunk Woodmas bash at a tiny little smoke-filled dirtbar in Sacramento called the Maple Room. It is located at 2740 Arden Way across the street from the post office. Smoking is permitted in the bar and kareoke will br provided, hosted by my older brother Jose. So you get two Galindo brothers for the price of one. Can't beat that!


It will be a Woodmas celebration and a celebration of Ed Wood's life and films by means of getting wasted. It will also be a very late 21st birthday party for my wife, Woodian Angel Natasha, who wasn't able to drink on her birthday due to her with-child-edness. But now that the baby's out of there, it's super go drinking time.


So join us for a Woodmas/Late 21st Birthday bash this monday starting at 9pm. Hope to see you there ...


... and be sure to check us out this thursday for an all new, all fake GVWA Deviance, where the big main event will be new GVWA champion God putting his title on the line against "Angry" Marisa of the B.S.O. and the big question is will God hold on to his title or fall victim to the Book Seller Order? Plus we will see live action from Tim Burton, Harry Potter, Britney Spears, Jack White AND the GVWA PREMIERE of TWWF (Tom Wegner Wrestling Federation) wrestling star ... Dirty Sanchez!


Join us this thursday!

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