1) It's going to be boring as hell.
2) It's going to be way too long.
3) It's going to be a bunch of conceited Hollywood assholes engaging in the world's biggest mass dick sucking ceremony.
4) Boring crap, assholes, and pretentious pricks will sweep the Oscars.
5) Way too much of America's time and energy, which could be spent on bettering society, ending the world's problems, or ousting our horrible president, will be spent on what some bitch from Desperate Housewives is wearing while walking down a period rag-colored carpet.
6) Not even John Stewart can save what will be a pointless display of Hollywood's mind control over American society.
7) References will be made to annoying uber-host Billy Crystal, an aging Jew who ceased being funny sometime around the 1980s.
8) Reverend Steve will NOT watch.