NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Julia Roberts and her Magic Armpit Hair ...

... whenever I'm feeling bad about myself, like when I think about how our car isn't starting and I'm not sure how I'm going to get to work tomorrow AND YET my parents bought my brother a car for my birthday, when I start thinking of how low my weight is dropping, when I think of how low I'm getting paid, when I think of how all the people who work at Natomas refused to talk to me when I spent the day working there (the conceited hipster cracker bitches) ... whenever I start feeling really bad, I just think of three things that INSTANTLY make me feel a million times better ...


1) Brad Pitt is in his forties


2) Basic Instinct 2 rightfully bombed




3) Julia Roberts has a thick fucking patch of armpit hair


That always makes me feel better. Suddenly I'm feeling better, happier, brighter, and suddenly I find myself smiling just like Isabela smiles right after peeing on my parents' carpeted bathroom floor ...




Fucking awesome. Here's some music for y'all ...


Gnarls Barkely: Crazy ... rap group Gnarls Barkely, much like last year's smash Dangerdoom collaboration, is Danger Mouse together with rapper Cee-Lo. They make awesome rap music together. It's insaine. It's like Dangermouse meets old school R&B and it's absolutely incredible.


Gnarls Barkely: Smiley Faces


Gnarls Barkely: Storm Coming


Electric Six: DANGER, High Voltage
... this is without a doubt the single greatest song ever written about kids setting fire to a Taco Bell. Electric Six is okay but what makes this song so great is Jack White's uncredited mad screaming.


Cake: I Will Survive

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