NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Coleridge returns in "Coleridge 3: Beautiful Coleridge" ...

YES! It's the sequel you've all been waiting for! Coleridge, the lipstick-wearing eunich boy returns for his greatest adventure yet!


Here, for all you Coleridge-heads, is a detailed timeline of exactly what you can expect from Coleridge's latest exciting adventure ...


0:01 - this time around, Coleridge's awesome, fun-loving femi-daddy wastes no time in getting to the action, skipping the opening credits and starting right off the bat with his son's penis.

0:30 - gratuitous underwear footage (for the chickssssss).

1:00 - Coleridge shows off his fat ass dancing skeelz on playa-hatin' niggaz and all you sucka mcs and mad whack chickenheads.

1:10 - Coleridge falls on head.

1:40 Coleridge jumps off chair and falls on head ... who is this kid, fuckin' Steve-O? No, nonono, sorry, that's me going too far. Everyone knows Steve-O from Jackass doesn't show his penis off as much as Coleridged does.

2:05 - OMG ... MATCHING Hawaiian shirts?!?!?!?!?!

2:50 - more nudity.

2:57 - jumping on the bed in his underwear. Wow. I now fear for Coleridge's safety. I really do. Show me on the doll where he touched you.

3:06 - it is here, during the end credits, that I realize that I am so going to hell or sued or something when femi-daddy finally realizes what I'm doing with their home movies ... but there's no way I can't NOT show this one. It's his greatest adventure yet!




COLERIDGE WILL RETURN IN "COLERIDGE 4: Coleridge Goes to Oregon!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved it.
It was better than Cats.
I'm going to see it again and again.

Reverend Steve said...

I'm offensive as fuck and yet it's very rare that I actually find myself going too far. When I DO go there, I like to stretch out, look around, savor the sights and the sounds of this magical place that is called Too Far. Wow, so THIS is what Too Far looks like.

Last time I went there was around Halloween. Someone gave me a chocolate JFK silver dollar. I stuck a pen through the head and told Jesse "Hey look, now its authentic!" He just stared at me and said, wow, I am actually offended. That's awesome.

I love Coleridge. I want to party with him, do a few shots with him. I bet he hold his liquor well.

jessecoombs said...

You're a genius. Please write for TV.