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Saturday, June 3, 2006

Bad MySpace Poetry - Part One ...


... the single most important thing that MySpace teaches us, apart from how annoying it is to have a website force you to listen to a shitty fucking LinkinPark song, is that there are still people out there, young people, who dress all in black and are really into the muppets-in-fagland dick sucking festival Labrynth and still vehemently read and re-read and re-re-read all of the Anne Rice vampire books despite the fact that her sudden Jesusness is pretty much an F-you to all her fans that made her rich and famous.


Call them what you will ... goth, punks, people still living with their parents, ostentatious fuckballs. But don't for once think that these nineties throwbacks are merely the stuff of legend. Oh no, my fine feathered friend! They exist and roam freely amongst us. There are people out there that still listen to Korn and get piercings because they think it's "kewl" and dress all goth and listen to Nine Inch Nails because Trent's pain mirrors their own inner torment.


These douchebags all get MySpace accounts and want you to read their shitty ass poetry. Which is obvious seeing as how ...


NIN + ANNE RICE
= CRAPPY POETRY


... but these gothdouches all want you to read their crappy poetry. And I know that you, being sane, won't actually go on the net looking for any of this crappy poetry. So I, being the king of customer service that I am, I have decided to bring the crappiness directly to you!


So buckle up, brace yourself, and be sure to bring your white face makeup because it's bad poetry time ...




Flavors of poison, twisting hates

dark and dangerous roads of Fates.

Enjoy the spectacle of my broken soul

my heart is just a unwelcoming hole.

This damned calliope of pain

my smile will never be the same.

Ride on and see the torments of me

my chained hope will never fly free.


... that one was written by a thirtysomething female whose fave films include Interview with a Vampire, Legend, Shock Treatment, and Lair of the White Worm. OOOH! She lives in a magical fantasy world of unicorns and spirit animals. What a magical world that must be. Here's another one ...


Carry

Changes coming down...

the rain falls, like my tears of blue

I see the rose dying in the dawn

and there's nothing I can do.

What did you think, I'm all armor and force?

I can only withstand the wind so long,

the tides tear at me and the sun destroys.

Let me hold to myself all of my joys

before you call me fool.

I never wanted to be a fool, you know.

I only wanted happiness and bright skies

and now I carry within me

these things that I despise.


... here are some things that can be assumed about the author from these two poems: comes from a divorced family, shops at Hop Topic, owns way too many things with faries on them, pretends to be into bondage, has unresolved father issues, and lights lots and lots of incense.


CLICK HERE TO EXPERIENCE HER CRAPPY POETRY YOURSELF!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

bad poetry/oh noetry!

Reverend Steve said...

hey!
that rhymed!