NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!
SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!
Friday, June 9, 2006
I'm Getting Paid for Sex ...
... hell yeah! I am going to get PAID today and I just can't wait! I'm like a kid at a toy store knowing he's getting a toy today. That's how I feel. I want my toy. Anyway, here's how it's going to go down ... my wife's birthday is a week from today. We were going to have a big party but now I just think we're going bowling or something, just a chance to get everybody together. Well, I have a super awesome top secret birthday present in store for her that I am ve-e-e-e-ery excited about getting and I will be sure to get some photos of it in action and post them up here, although that will be highly scandalous. However, getting the piece will require about a hundred dollars and a few hours of treasure hunting. And seeing as I have absolutely NO math experience whatsoever I do not handle the expenses in our family. My wife does. So she is going to pay me a hundred dollars today that I can use later in the week to try and hunt down this top secret birthday present. But getting handed a hundred bucks isn't too exciting. So my wife and I have mutually decided that instead of just giving me the money she will be paying for my services in the bedroom, my hard, long lovemaking services. And, hey, a hundred bucks is a damn good deal for that, too! My big latino heat is much more expensive than that, believe me. But, since we're married, I'm giving her friend prices. Least I can do, you know?