NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


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Friday, June 9, 2006

I'm Getting Paid for Sex ...

... hell yeah! I am going to get PAID today and I just can't wait! I'm like a kid at a toy store knowing he's getting a toy today. That's how I feel. I want my toy. Anyway, here's how it's going to go down ... my wife's birthday is a week from today. We were going to have a big party but now I just think we're going bowling or something, just a chance to get everybody together. Well, I have a super awesome top secret birthday present in store for her that I am ve-e-e-e-ery excited about getting and I will be sure to get some photos of it in action and post them up here, although that will be highly scandalous. However, getting the piece will require about a hundred dollars and a few hours of treasure hunting. And seeing as I have absolutely NO math experience whatsoever I do not handle the expenses in our family. My wife does. So she is going to pay me a hundred dollars today that I can use later in the week to try and hunt down this top secret birthday present. But getting handed a hundred bucks isn't too exciting. So my wife and I have mutually decided that instead of just giving me the money she will be paying for my services in the bedroom, my hard, long lovemaking services. And, hey, a hundred bucks is a damn good deal for that, too! My big latino heat is much more expensive than that, believe me. But, since we're married, I'm giving her friend prices. Least I can do, you know?


Here's some good sex music ...


Dave Brubeck: Take Five

Pink Floyd: Comfortably Numb

Eels: Saturday Morning

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