STEVE: (cheery) Hi. How can I help you today?
GOATEE: Yes, I'm looking for a moleskin leather sketcher. Black. And a large size, pleeeeease.
(Silence, as Steve tries to figure out what he wants.)
STEVE: W-what was that? I'm sorry, I didn't ...
GOATEE Well, you must be new here.
STEVE: (defensive) No. I have worked with this corporation for almost six years now and ...
GOATEE: Well I think you're lying because if you had been working here for so long then you would KNOW what a moleskin sketcher was.
STEVE: Is it ... is it some sort of ... journal? Because if it is, I work in the kids section, so that would explain why I don't understand what you want. I mean ...
GOATEE: (sighs) Look, is there somebody else here who KNOWS what they're doing that can help me?
(A long silence. Goatee freezes. Steve walks upstage. Lights dim to solitary spotlight on Steve, who falls to knees and cries. Four Giant Robotic Penguins (male, twenties) appear stage right and eat Goatee, who screams in pain. Steve continues to cry.)
STEVE: Why are people so fucking stupid?
GOATEE: (screaming) HELP! SAVE ME FROM THESE ROBOTIC PENGUINS!