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Monday, August 7, 2006

Strange State Fairs ...

... I got really depressed when I found out the concert schedule for the California State Fair, which is about a ten minute walk from the front doors of my work. This year's concerts seem to be directly yanked from a schedule they had in 1991 ... Kenny Loggins, Boyz II Men, REO Speedwagon, Lifehouse, Collective Soul, Sinbad, The Village People, Rick fucking Springfield, Ted Nugent, and Tesla. God. It's like a lineup of "I Love the 90s" or something. I can vividly picture Michael Ian Black making fun of it on VH1. Because I have memories of the Arizona State Fair and all its glory ... speaking of, despite California being the much hated cultural capital of the world, the Arizona State Fair has more visitors every year. Why? Because the California State Fair is in the capital of California, which is where I live, which is Sacramento, which is an ass-backwards hick cowtown that nobody gives two fucks about. If it were held in LA or San Diego, holy fuck, it would be like a World's Fair for shit's sake. But, alas, nobody cares about Sacramento. The thing is, I remember my junior year of high school. Arizona State Fair. Here was the lineup ... fucking Nirvana, fucking Stone Temple Pilots the next damn day, Stevie Ray Vaughn the next week, fucking makeupless Kiss at the end. That's balls out hardcore the bestest lineup you'll ever see, ever, at any state's shitty ass Ashley Simpson crapfest fair. I'm constantly thinking that as much as me and my family loooooooves the California State Fair, the Arizona State Fair, which I haven't been to since 2001, is infinitely better. HOWEVER, I just decided to test that and took myself a quick visit to the Arizona State Fair's web site and got myself fully prepared to be jealous of their awesome concert series. Well, are you ready? Here it is ... Brooks and Dunn, Jeff Foxworthy, Alan Jackson, Big & Rich, Gretchen Wilson, and the Steve Miller Band. My childhood dreams have officially been crushed. That sucks. But thank god I'm not in Arizona. Thank god I'm here in California for their State Fair and I can watch Emerald's eyes light up and I can take Isabela for her first time and I can walk hand in hand with my amazing wife and, maybe, just maybe, I can rub lotion on Marisa's feet again.


STATE FAIR!!!



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