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Friday, October 20, 2006

A Comprehensive List of the Halloween Music of Note That Has Played On Our Store's "Holiday Music" Radio Station ...

... every year for about three months the store that I work at regularly plays the "holiday" radio station and although the X-mas music is annoying and unbearable the music that is played in October is an incredible mix of awesome as hell and completely confusing.


I have compiled (for really no discernable reason) a comprehensive list of the songs of note that have played in the store's Halloween radio station all this week when I've worked. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard work, all to prove a thesis that even I don't even know.


Check it out and you'll understand what I mean by awesome as hell and completely confusing:




SUNDAY

See My Vest: An awesome Simpsons song, not quite Halloween themed but still cool.

Halloween theme: Spooky.

Exorcist theme: Great.

Pull the String: ED WOOD!!!!! Hell yes!

X-Files theme: Never liked this show. There, I said it. Plus I hear this about two or three times in an eight hour shift on this station. Annoying.

I'm Your Boogeyman: wow, Rob Zombie, way to blast your hard rock metal vibes in a quiet bookstore. This is when all the yuppie white people in the store complain about our music selection.

Heard It Through The Grapevine: Huh????????? WTF? I think it's on here because the only way rasins could talk would be if they were possessed.

Mars Attacks theme: Hell yeah!

Squares: The Beta Band? What? Don't get me wrong, I like this song but ... what the hell are you doing on the Halloween music?

Ed Wood theme: MORE ED WOOD!!!!! Hell yes! I've said it before and I'll say it again ... the Halloween music is one of the main things driving me all year, just like The Office and free pretzel day.

Paranoid Android: Whaaa???? More cool but confusing music.

The Cockroad That Ate Cincinnatti: Yeah, I'm gettin' my old school Dr. Demento freak on!

The Crypt Keeper Jam: It's the Crypt Keeper ... rapping ... and it's also the person in charge of the children's section fucking killing himself.

What's New Pussycat: Whaaa???? Just having a frightening amount of chest hair isn't enough to get your shitty song on the Halloween station.

The Time Warp: Oh goodie, I'm back to being cramped into a shitty Mill Avenue movie theater surrounded by pretentious teenage punk goth kids with bitchy attitudes and horrible fashion sense and rich parents and absolutely no lives ... and they're in a screaming contest with each other and throwing rice around. Fuckin' YIPPIE!!! (kill me now)

The Mummy: This is the (?!?!?!?!) audio track for the original movie preview for Karloff's Mummy movie. What? And why? And how? I'd understand if they played MORE movie previews but this is the only one.

Little Red Riding Hood: I've always liked this spooky oldies song sung from the wolf's POV but I never thought it could be Halloween. Bravo.

Purple People Eater: cute but annoying.

Monster Mash: I had this phase where I thought the Monster Mash was not only the greatest song of all time but a song that deserves to be heard ALL THE TIME. God Sarah hated me for that but although I hardly hear it anymore, when I do I'm reminded why I felt the way I did and why I was totally right on.

Tales from the Crypt theme: I dunno. I'm still in pain from the Crypt rap monstrosity.





TUESDAY

Tales from the Darkside theme: Wow. Haven't heard this in an african-american's age.

Heartbreak Hotel: Whaaa????

Rapture: What the hell is rapping Blondie doing on here?

Martian Hop: I have such a soft spot for this strange high pitched fiftied alien rock song.

Godzilla: Hell yeah!

The Blob theme: It's so strange that a horror monster movie like The Blob would have such a kitchy swinging sixties pop bubblegum theme song. I love it!

Season of the Witch: Awesome!

Don't Fear the Reaper: Another awesome song!

Love Potion #9: Eh. I guess it makes sense.

This is Halloween: Ok. OkokokokOKAY! I'll admit it. I never got into Nightmare Before Christmas. I know I should. I mean, it's a stop motion Tim Burton halloween musical. What's NOT to like? But for some reason I just never got too into it. The only thing that I feel that ever came out of this movie that's worthwhile is the awesome Holiday Haunted Mansion.

Werewolves of London: One of the best lyrics ever ... "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vics. His hair was perfect." Sweet!

Wooly Bully: Whaaa????

Night on Bald Mountain: Perfect.

Dead Man's Party: Awesome!

Ghost Riders in the Sky: Kinda makes sense.

Alien Nation tv theme: Whoah! Awesome! It's been HELLA long, man! Sweet!!!!!

12 Monkeys theme: WOW! Cool!




WEDNESDAY

Twilight Zone theme: Awesome!

Psychotic Reaction: Awesome, although only slightly relating in an indirect way to Halloween.

Witchy Woman: Again, only slightly kinda makes sense.

Bird is the Word: I like the song, I've always had a soft spot for it, but I don't know WHY it's on here.

Peter Gunn theme: Eh. Makes a bit of sense.

Atomic Dog: Whaaa???? What the hell is George Clinton and his massive funk starship doing here? This only makes sense when you think of the outfits they used to wear.

Pet Cemetary: Awesome Ramones song. Cool.

Talking in your Sleep: Eighties pop song? Huh?

Welcome to my Nightmare: I'm surprised I haven't heard this before now. Cool.

People Are Strange: I can't believe I haven't realized before now that this is an awesome Halloween song.

Somebody's Watching Me: This song creeps me out. I think it was watching the video too much as a kid.

Never Gonna Stop: More Rob Zombie, THIS one however makes absolutely NO sense! Why the hell are they playing Edge's old theme music, huh?

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Awesome old school theme music! It's a shame no one remembers how horribly sweet this movie is.

Batman tv theme: Eh. I guess this fits.

Munsters theme: This makes a LOT more sense.

SUPER CHICKEN theme song: What? Seriously, WHAT THE HELL????? My mind just got raped! Seriously! Why the hell would they play the theme song to an obscure sixties cartoon that nobody remembers but me? Huh? Why? My mind was just totally blown away!




THURSDAY

King Tut: For the love of god and allah and Ed Wood and all that is holy and just I HATE THIS DAMN SONG!!!

These Boots Are Made For Walkin': Whaaa????

Mamma Told Me Not to Come: Awesome song, reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson, but makes no sense on this station.

Dude Looks Like a Lady: Whaaa????

Bad to the Bone: Whaaa????

Tears on my Pillow: Again, whaaa???? I think this is "Whaaa????" day.

Creature from the Black Lagoon theme: Sweet!

Wierd Science: Again, I thought I would have heard this on day one. Cool!

Rock Lobster: Reminds me of my Emerald.

6 comments:

Marisa said...

Obviously, "Rapture" is on there because Blondie is rapping about aliens eating cars. I'll say it again.

Aliens eating cars.

jessecoombs said...

Great post. I think I hate that Blondie song...

Reverend Steve said...

I don't think I need to drive this point home or anything but ... this post took me VERY LONG to do.

Halloween music rocks ass.

Dave Or Dana said...

Who is that "Pull the String" song by? Is it really a reference to Glen or Glenda?

Reverend Steve said...

No. Its the dialogue from the movie Ed Wood, the "pull the string" scene.

Megan said...

and just think that today you added even more songs to that list.