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Monday, November 13, 2006

What Customers Say To Me and What They Really Mean ...

WHAT THEY SAY:
"No thank you. I 'm just looking around."

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"AAAAAAAGH, A WETBACK! RU-U-U-UN!!!"


WHAT THEY SAY:
"Do you work here?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"You don't work here, right? Because you're a mexican."


WHAT THEY SAY:
"I think I can find everything."

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"I am a teacher and/or a middle aged housewife and as such I refuse to let a spick help me find anything."


WHAT THEY SAY:
"Do you speak english?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING DIRTY FUCKING WETBACK! IF WE WEREN'T IN A BOOKSTORE IMMA FUCKING LYNCH YOUR FUCKING BROWN ASS!"


WHAT THEY SAY:
"No thanks."

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"Although I said 'no' to you, I will literally walk right up to the customer service desk and talk to the closest bookseller with either white skin or a vagina and ask THEM the question that I don't want YOUR brown ass to answer."


WHAT THEY SAY:
"Y'all got any, like, magazines?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"I don't fucking read!"

1 comment:

Marisa said...

WHAT THEY SAY:
"Ohhh, you're doing storytime today?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"I dragged my ass out here with my three year old to see you do storytime? I guess I'll go to Starbucks instead."

WHAT THEY SAY:
"Mr. Steve is on vacation? When will he be back?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"Shit, now I have to call back next week."

WHAT THEY SAY:
"Have you even ever played 'The Last Scene' before?"

WHAT THEY MEAN:
"This is the worst Harry Potter Club ever. Stupid Mr. Steve's baby."

Anyone else want to chime in?