NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


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Friday, January 12, 2007

Various Random Whatnots ...

-We are nearing post #600 on this blog. SIX HUNDRED! That's a lot! Right now this post you're reading here is #593. That is absolutely amazing. I really have poured my entire heart out on this blog. I do that a lot. I'm a heart on my sleeve sort of guy. This blog goes all the way back to 2002 when I was drunk and in/out of love. Bad, dusty times. Now it's almost five years later and I'm married with two kids. Incredible. And it's all right here. It's like my entire Sacramento life story is all right here for you to see. That is amazing.


-Natalie Portman was on Sesame Street this morning. Makes me want to fuck her even more. Although, in the beginning of this clip, she seems a bit too excited. I'm worried she might punch out Elmo. Also, apparently Portman is a "furry" ...




... and here's some more awesome Sesame Street clips for your punk ass!

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy!

Pinball numbers

W lovers

Cookie Monster "Shaft"

The Moon


-I feel so bad for Osama Bin Laden. He gets all his friends together and they work their asses off and together they launch a massive attack on U.S. soil, attacking us in the air and killing thousands of innocent people and literally crippling America, bringing it to its knees. And what does George Bush do? He goes after Sadaam. Poor, sad, lonely Osama. I just want to give him a big hug. I mean, they can find Sadaam hiding in a hole in the desert somewhere, for christ's sake! Osama takes down the World Trade Center with his dick and Bush just puts on his cowboy hat and goes after Sadaam for no reason. Damn, no wonder he keeps releasing videos every other month. That's his way of saying "HelOOOO?!?! It's MEEEE! Are you bastards even TRYING? I'll give you guys a hint, alright? I'm hiding in a cave on a mountain that starts with the letters MO. Okay? Now come ON!" If he really wants to get Bush's attention he would have followed in Sadaam's footsteps. He should have forgotten the twin towers and just try to kill Bush's daddy. Or made fun of Texas.


-Here are some awesome websites that I've been loitering at like mad recently ...

Mashup Town

Joe Mathlete Explains today's Marmaduke

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Free TV Shows and Movies


-I'm feeling a little bit better. My brain is still telling me bad things but it's more of a whisper now. I find myself smiling a lot more lately and that's awesome. I thought I had forgotten how to do that. And I hardly ever start crying out loud for no apparent reason anymore. Wow. And do you want to know WHY I'm feeling better? A gentleman never kisses and tells but lets just say that it's absolutely amazing how much of my emotional state is based solely on doing my story times and fucking my incredibly sexy wife.


-You'll all be happy to know that the big January 30th appearance of Captain Book, his second ever storytime appearance, will be YouTubed. I can't wait! This month's appearance will also feature the first ever appearance of Capt. Book's arch-enemy, the evil Dr. Borders, who wants to turn children lazy and unhealthy by giving them dvds and cds and sodas. I've been getting all the children excited by telling them that Dr. Borders looks a lot like me ... handsome, gorgeous, amazing smile, rugged manly moustache. But I CAN'T be him because I wear glasses and Dr. Borders does NOT! So the kids know what's up and are pretty pumped about it.


I am also happy to announce that the price of the OFFICIAL Captain Book T-Shirt has dropped to only NINE FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! Nine dollars for your very own Captain Book shirt! That's amazing! You ALL need to and can now afford to buy two to eight shirts apiece. NOW! And the design has been tweaked. Here it is now ...




... buy a shirt NOW before he becomes an overnight internet sensation!


-I have a really awesome impression. It's an impression of the clock outside of the River City Bank on Howe avenue. Because impressions of famous people are for housewives and little girls. That is SO last year. Who am I, Rich Hall? Michael Floorwax? I'm starting a one man rebirth of the impression. Anyone can pretend to be George Bush. How many people, though, can do an impression of an inanimate object? That's my one man rebirth of the genre. I'm into pushing the limits of negative space until the form and the composition mimmic each other and it becomes a dance almost. I am now putting the finishing touches on my next big impression: the cross streets of Fair Oaks and Fulton.




-Here are some pictures taken with a cheap ass $20 Pirates of the Caribbean digital camera that we bought at Target ...



















... did I mention the camera cost all of TWENTY DAMN DOLLARS!?!? Yeah. That totally rocks ass.


-On Christmas day I walked next door and found Emerald and Isabela and their cousin watching cartoons. Specifically, they were watching Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. This cartoon is the best non-Adult Swim cartoon on television today and everybody who fell in lust with Invader Zim should rightfully be creaming over this show. Anyhoo, as soon as I walked in there was a scene where all the friends went to the beach, leaving troublemaking asshole friend Bloo by himself in the mansion. They woprried what trouble he was causing.


This leads up to the one sentance I've been saying nonstop since Christmas ... IT'S HOT IN TOPEKA! That and "Ben, please pass the pe-e-e-e-e-e-e-eas" I've said probably about 80 times each. It's an awesome scene, the most awesomest scenes in the coolest cartoon on tv. Check the whole episode out for yourself ...




-I had a tire explode on me and Marisa. Changing it was a pain in the ass and I suspect I looked pretty hot changing it, although I don't have the balls to mention it to Risa. I went to the russian-owned used tire place next door to my work. He tried to sell me an eighty dollar tire. I asked him about the used tires he advertizes up the ass and he said "We don't have no tire for your model." That was the third time he's told me that AND with three different cars now. I exploded on his ass, asking him what ONE car model does he ACTUALLY carry? I started bitching him out. At the end of my like minute long tirade I threw the scrap paper down on the floor and just yelled.


I have a HUGE temper. I inherited it from the Galindo family blood. My dad has a massive temper. My brother ... well, he can explode. Violently. And I have that same temper. It's just that I'm the best at holding it in. And these anti-depression pills have done a great job at breaking down my anger defenses. I've been a whole lot angrier lately. Bit frightening. Anyway, Natasha and I just went to a place in the middle of nowhere called Ramos Tires and bought a used tire, had it fitted, and got all our tires filled with air for $25. Fuck those a-holes next to my work. They can lick my black ass.




... and that's about it from me. See all you cakesniffers later. Death to shooshers. Wind clan out.

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