STEVE: Hey Emerald. I almost forgot ...
EMERALD: What daddy?
S: Do you know what an employee of the month is?
S: Well, see, once a month now my work is going to pick the absolute bestest worker there and give him an award and a prize and stuff for being so great. The employee of the month is the best employee that month. Do you understand?
E: (giggles) Yeah!
S: Well, Emerald, I think that I might become my works first employee of the month!
Steve has his arms out, his mouth open, excited. He keeps this pose for a long time insilence. Emerald, however, has her arms crossed and is making an angry face.
E: DAD! I don't think you're going to be the employee of the month.
S: (shocked) W-what? Why do you say that, Emerald?
E: Well ...
S: Why do you think daddy's not going to be the employee of the month?
E: (scoffs) Well, dad, all you do is read to the kids and color, you know? Instead of working!
Just then, the computer cracks open and CAPTAIN PLANET, the early nineties cartoon character, appears from somewhere within the computer. He is naked and covered in blood and feces. He jumps up, does a flip, and crushes his right foot through Emerald's face, flinging bone and skin and blood everywhere.
S: That's what you get for disbelieving my bookseller powers, suckafoo!
Steve puts on a pimp hat and pulls out a shotgun from his ducky pajamas, shooting Captain Planet in the crotch.
S: SHUT THE FUCK UP, CAPTAIN PLANET, AND MAKE ME A KFC BOWL, BITCH!
Captain Planet, still bleeding from the shotgun blast to the crotch, stands up and makes Steve a KFC bowl while Steve drinks his coffee and updates his iPod. The song "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" by The Clash starts playing as the lights dim and the curtain closes.