... so I turn 30 this Thursday.
To celebrate my 30th birthday, I have devised a three part birthday celebration for myself. Three parts. And part one starts tomorrow.
a very special "Mr. Steve's Birthday" storytime where the kids and I have cake and ice cream and we read my favorite stories and everybody gets a very special "Mr. Steve Bag" as a special gift. I give out Mr. Steve Bags filled with candy and stickers and toys. It's my own little homage to Arizona and tv's Wallace and Ladmo Show. Usually I only give out one, maybe two. Tomorrow I'm going to be giving away a bag to every kid who shows up PLUS I've written and illustrated an eight page picture book based on my life called THE STEVE STORY that i'll be premiering at my birthday storytime and that's awesome.
And after work, at around 5:30 or so, we're having an old school Gwen Lobo-style Hoppy's get-together. We're going to hang out and drink and eat crappy food and bullshit and make fun of Scott and its going to be awesome. HOPPY'S!!! HELL YEAH! Any one and everyone's invited so please come on down and get your drink on with me and my fam.
It's the Hoppy's on Folsom. Want directions? Well, you're already on the damn internet. Find it yourself.
my REAL birthday this Thursday. It will mainly be me and Natasha together. Low key and very personal. No idea what's in store for part two but whatever it is it'll be nice and cool and mellow, a nice soft ease into my thirties. Maybe we'll go to a comic book store. Maybe I'll drink all day. Maybe we'll see a movie. Maybe I'll get some dirty rough monkey sex. I'm really not sure.
And hopefully, if my parents come through with the money they promised us, sometime on Thursday we'll pack up the kids and drive the 10-12 hour drive from Sacramento, California to Phoenix, Arizona. It's a bitchwhore of a drive. Last time we did the drive I spent most of it either asleep or chatting up my wife. It's a long, tiring bunch of nothing. But I'm excited.
this weekend in Phoenix. Sunday will be spent at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. My mom's paying. Emerald is going to shit herself sore when she sees the knights and the princesses and everything there. Man, it's going to be the balls. I can't wait to take her.
No idea what my wife has planned for Saturday. I hope it involves hooking up with old friends. I miss Michelle and Ken-dar and all my old friends from catholic school and Deer Valley High School. Shit, I wouldn't mind it to hang out with a Bell sister or two. I miss my friends, whatever friends I have left, and I so desperately want to be able to reconnect with that part of me that still is Arizona.
I don't know if part three is going to happen. Part three is dependant on my parents and ... well, YOU know. So keep your fingers crossed that this vacation of mine actually takes place, because jesus fucking christ have I ever deserved it.
This is a picture of my books. Most people who know me know that I'm always reading something or writing in something. When I was in Arizona I always kept a journal (it's not a diary because I have a cock) but the move to Cali plus various bitchy ex-girlfriends meant that all my Arizona journals are gone with the wind. I vowed to keep, literally KEEP, whatever journals I wrote in while living in California.
This picture is the only picture in existence of all five of my journals. I've kept them from March 2002 to now. And I'm almost done with book five. I've just got eight more pages to go. It's like my own personal, drunken, perverted life story and I am deeply proud of them all. Whatever new book I'm writing in, I carry it everywhere and write in it constantly. Even at work, I'm jotting my life down. It's MY story just for ME and the only people allowed to read them are me and my wife. And maybe Marisa because I am so deeply in love with her.
I think I might have to buy book six in Arizona. Isn't that incredible? Book six! Five years!
Wow. I'm getting older.
SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!