... it's past 3:00 am and I'm still wide awake. More than awake. I'm hyper as fuck/. What's wrong with me? And I've been up since 7:30 am, too, taking care of the kids and feeding them and playing with them. And I spent most of the evening chasing Bela and playing Nintendo Wii at Gwen's house.
So why the hell am I still awake right now? WTF?!?
Emerald goes to her grandparent's church fairly regularly. It's good for her and it means that Natasha and I get at least a few hours a week of alone time, which is usually the only time we have together all week.
Well, Natasha's been somehow guilted into going with Emerald every other week. And now it's my turn. Tomorrow (today) morning all the kids at church are going to present their dads with some special handmade present. So that means I have to go. To church. Christian church. Natasha's parent's asian-filled strip mall church.
It's 3:30 am and I have to go to church tomorrow morning. And after church I'll probably spend most of the day taking care of the kids all by myself as my wife nurses her massive birthday hangover.
God. This is going to suck so bad.
It's almost four in the morning and I'm watching Ed Wood's "Glen Or Glenda" and finishing my second beer. This is my second beer in two months. I didn't quit drinking per se. I just stopped drinking while my body got used to my new anti-depression meds. Now that it's been almost a two months, I'm starting to drink again. Nothing big, just a beer or two here and there at times when I need it like now when I can't sleep to save my sad broke brown ass life.
The party was fun. It was cool to hang out with Marisa and Gwen and Kyle and Lance and his adorable son and Bela and John and Milton and Joe and Nick in a calm, relaxed atmosphere where we can just hang out and talk and do nothing. I got to play my iPod, which I secretly adored (we have our computer back, which means that I can ONCE AGAIN update my iPod hourly) and the eating of crappy food was plentiful, which was great news for me and my depleating weight.
I'm also proud that, given the sheltered and naive upbringing I had in the mainly white suburbs of Glendale, Arizona, that now, at 30 years of age, I can comfortably enter into a conversation with three young black guys and have no problems at all. For someone as inner shy as me, that means a lot.
BTW, does anybody have $400 to $500 that I can borrow within the next 24 hours that I'll be able to pay back slowly within the next 1-2 years? It's kinda sorta an emergency.
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