NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

I'm Blowing Up All Over This Town ...

... the people at Arden mall told us a week or two ago that they were having a three hour back to school festival at the mall and they wanted Barnes and Noble to have a booth there. They also said they wanted me to do storytime and we agreed. The second saturday of every month they have the Arden Mall Kids Club that gets about 100-300 kids attending, mostly crazy kids whose parents only show up because of the free prizes you get for attending multiple times. I've done storytime for them twice now and I was fairly excited about doing at again. It does my own storytime numbers well and it's great to be in front of a big audience like that. Remind s me of the old days.


Well when my community relations manager and I got there they said that I wasn't going on stage, that I'd just be doing storytime from my booth. Well, after some talking (we politely told them that if I do my storytime at my booth, all the kids will be listening to ME doing my thing and NOT the stuff on the stage) they gave me a half hour set in between the magic acts and the safety doctor and I'm happy to say that my half hour was one of the highlights of the event because everybody else that was up there (apart from the host) had no stage experience and not too much experience with kids. There was a doctor explaining backpack safety, a nurse doing trivia questions no one could answer, a limbo contest and various other strange kids activities. There were special guests that were late and a darn good host who did almost every time wasting thing in the book to try and make this three hour thing work and there was a kiddie fashion show that was the highlight of the day only because one three year old girl was waving and kissing and posing in a way where you just KNEW her mom rode her ass to be that cute. Stage mom. Awesome.


So when I got up there and brought Clifford up and yelled and read stories and pulled an alligator out of my pants and got 150 kids at Arden mall to scream "STEVE NEEDS A RAISE" I knew I killed. Good feeling.


But I injured my leg lugging all the stuff for our booth from work to the mall and back. And then my CRM left leaving me to man the Barnes and Noble booth by myself for a little over two hours. And then when I got to work it was so damn busy that the only people on the floor was myself and two or three others. I got stuck at our info desk for about an hour, took a 22 minute lunch, answered 22 phone calls, got yelled at by angry customers, and didn't take my first break until 4:15, 45 minutes before I left. It was crazy busy and since we blew our wad for the Harry Potter Party ...




... from about 2pm on there was only just Lance and myself on the floor. Just me and the manager. It was insane and crazy and I was busting my ass on the sales floor and just quietly laughing to myself that my doctor's note said that I "wasn't supposed to rush around." What a joke. I'm still sore from all I did yesterday.


However, I am happy to say that my usual 2pm storytime had 53 kids, the largest amount of children ever to attend one of my storytimes and, yet again, one of the single biggest events in my store this year. Yes I busted my ass and overworked (and I just KNOW that I'm going to get absolutely NO RECOGNITION at work from this because I guess me kicking ass is so commonplace that nobody really cares anymore) but I think it was all worth it.


Here's some free music for your punk ass ...


Jim's Big Ego: Concrete

Matthew Good: Indestructible

Primus: American Life

Bright Eyes: Reinvent The Wheel

The Get up Kids: The Lion and the Lamb

Michael Jackson: Rock With You

Tom Petty: American Girl

Wolfmother: Woman

Sublime: Santeria

Grand Buffet: Benjamin Franklin Music

Cake: Frank Sinatra

Billy Joel: Moving Out


BUY CAPTAIN BOOK AND STORYTIME WITH MR. STEVE T-SHIRTS NOW AT STEVE'S NEW MERCH SITE!

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