NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Forcing The Kids To Draw Hideously Demented Things With Chalk On Our Driveway ...

... this is a totally AWESOME new game that I invented while playing outside with the kids and drinking on my lonely sunday right before Natasha came home.


Emerald, Isabela and cousin Deinna were outside drawing on the driveway with sidewalk chalk and I was looking after them. The kids always want to play outside and I never want to look after them. I don't know why. It's always such a hassle looking after the little demons, Bela especially because she's a runner. It's not something I usually do but I was lonely and I figured with my iPod and a beer and my diary with me it wouldn't be such a chore.


A few minutes after we went outside, Deinna asked me if there was something I wanted her to draw.


Opening up my first beer, I said "Yes, there is. I want you to draw a monkey on an iceberg being shot at by aliens." And Deinna, being Deinna, drew just that ...




The kids liked the idea of drawing the demented things that popped up in my head and soon Emerald and Deinna were hard at work drawing whatever I told them to draw. This is Emerald picture of Superman buying shoes in Mexico ...




Here's another Deinna piece, this one is ten gummy bears trying unsuccessfully to eat a giant hot dog. The gummy bear clan leader is saying "Wait, we can't eat this!" Classic ...




Not sure who drew this one. I think it was Em but it just as easily could have been Dee. It's Isabela using her head to go bowling ...




This one is classic Deinna. I had wanted a t-rex roller skating and she gave me this awesome disco dinosaur drawing that's a million times cooler than I had originally wanted ...




This is Emerald's drawing of a disney princess wearing adult diapers and bleeding out of her eyes ...




A ninja eating popcorn at the movies ...




Jesus Christ's face appearing on a taco ...




Ronald McDonald being hideously run over by a car on his way to work. I specifically told them to draw Ronald being hit "Marisa" style ...




I'm a freakin' genius! Now I can't wait to go back outside and play.

No comments: