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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Revenge of the Suits ...

Today at work we're being joined by the district and regional managers. They're going to spend the day at work wandering the store to make sure everything is visually proper as well as quizzing us about sales and the store's numbers and goals. It's all part of a nasty vacation earning gauntlet that I have to work through. I have six days of work in a row, six hard days of non-stop working my ass off in order to earn my seven days off. This morning, with the prospect of a whole day of suits in front of me, I find myself nervous and not looking forward to today.

Sure both people really like me. heck, I forced the district manager to wear a stupid outfit and be Captain Book's dad Admiral Chad Bokington ...

... and another reason they both like me is my impressive CorpSpeak powers. When backed into a corner by suits, I have the amazing ability to turn on a serious, business-like corporate side of me. I rattle off numbers and plans and goals and ways to better sell and motivate. I talk in a slightly deeper voice and I have a firm handshake and my face becomes a look of seriousness. It makes me look serious and businesslike and the suits and managers love it.

But its just an act. it's some theatrical character that I use when suits ask me questions. It's not really me. It's a joke. And I usually can't control it. it just turns on and I go with it. And it makes me DEEPLY uncomfortable, like I just somehow betrayed myself.

Again, not looking forward to today.

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