This bad ass little kid was at my last Star Wars storytime, the one where I had Darth Deinna attack. Having Deinna as a character was awesome and the audience was really responsive, lots of older kids and a lot of them dressed up like this bad ass mofo in the picture up there. Doesn't he look awesome? Seeing this picture totally makes me miss my childhood. I want to lay down on the floor under a blanket with my brother and watch Star Wars recorded from tv onto a beta tape.
So I've been dressing up, trying to look my age (31) and be more professional. And things have been going good. Real good. I mean, sure it's hot as hell outside but its actually done wonders for my self esteem. I have the nice ties and the nice shirts and the belts and the nice shoes and occasionally my hat. It's like I was single and drunk and alone and then suddenly I blink my eyes and I'm a husband and father of two, you know? So for the last, what, five years (???) I've been a father and husband. But when I looked in the mirror and saw myself I still saw the pathetic drunk single comedic loner.
So that's why I bough an expensive suit and a vest and started looking good. Now I look at myself in the mirror and I actually like what I see. I see a mature thirtysomething father and husband. I like how I look now. I think that when I wear the suit and the hat I either look like a Guys and Dolls reject or kind of like a Rat Packer, which coincidentally fits my recently huge Frank Sinatra fix quite nicely ...
That's a picture of me, hat and wife beater and all, on the computer feeding my iPod. Emerald took this picture. She's been taking a lot of pictures with my phone lately. I think she's going through that girlie "I'm a photographer" phase that pretty much every woman goes thru at some point in their life. I was hoping she'd go thru this in her teens, you know, taking black and white pictures of butterflies instead of being some sort of slut. But she might be going thru a photography phase now and it's my job to nurture it.
I just learned that my wife goes nuts when I spell through like thru. That's fascinating.
Dogs are smarter than babies.
Another youtube video, this one is Sammie doing amazing work in the movie version of the musical Sweet Charity. Amazing stuff, check it out ...
For some strange reason I am obsessed with this song. Hell, I've never even seen the musical. But there's something about this song, about this VERSION of the song, about damn genius Sammie Davis Jr. singing and dancing and showing why he's a genius. It's an amazing song and an amazing video. I love it so much. I guess it's just my inner high school theater fag coming out. I miss it.
There's a bit of drama on the family front. Bit crazy tension around here. Here's a reprinting of a bit of my wife's myspace blog ...
Current mood: disgusted, irate, angry
I have been informed that one of my nieces has been injured.
While in the care of her very own mother.
This isn't the first time that any of her four kids have been injured to the point they needed medical assistance. I do hope, however, it is the last.
She came home on Sunday night from her mother's with a really bad diaper rash, so bad in fact, that it was bleeding. Then the father didn't know it because he comes here and has us take care of his kids and doesn't pay much attention to them, let alone change their diapers. Then the next day when he was informed about it, he said she didn't come home with it, even though he didn't know cause he hadn't changed her diaper since she had been home.
Then he brings them back to the danger zone that is their mother's home. Just to find out that he has to come home early from work to get her medical card and take her to the doctor. Why? Are you ready for this?
She pulled a table onto her face!!!
Thats right folks. Lifetime worst mother in the world award goes to this fucking tramp.
Where were you, bitch? You know the baby is only 7 months old and tries to pull herself up on couches and tables and things, you should have been watching her. OR if you were being too lazy or too busy being a fucking slut, put her in the crib so you know she was out of danger.
I want to thank everyone who has been posting on my blog, posting words of encouragement. That means a lot. And a special thank you to Bunster. You gave me your phone number and that's awesome. That means a lot to me that there are people out there who care about me. I'm having some personal problems and some mental problems. I'm having anxiety attacks and migraines and my mood changes with the speed of an iPod shuffle.
And I've been cutting myself. A little bit.
I admitted that in my stupid blog and I wasn't going to admit it here. I mean, fuck, my parents read this shit apparently. But there it is. I did it. I've been cutting myself. I don't know why I do it and I know i shouldn't and I'm stopping. I know that I need to get some psychiatric help. And I will. I don't know how but I will.
But really, thank you everyone for supporting me. I know I'll be fine. It's just going to take some time.
And seriously, here's to being happy and staying happy.
Perez Prado: Bahia
Andy Kaufman: Rose Marie (Live on Letterman)
Schoolhouse Rock: No More Kings
Eels: I Can't Help Falling In Love
John Lennon: Working Class Hero
Eagles of Death Metal: Keep Your Head Up
Guns 'N' Roses: Don't Cry
Bad Religion: Come Join Us
Hot Chip: Wrestlers
Eels: Checkout Blues
WWE: Rated R Superstar (Edge's Theme)
Blues Traveler: Hook
Perez Prado: Love Child