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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Awesome Packages Of Japanese Food I Found In San Francisco ...

While Michael Burns and his friends searched in a japanese market for beer to consume, I was searching for awesome packages to share to you. Yeah. I was thinking of you. Don't you feel quite the fool now, huh?


Anyway, here's how it goes. I show the picture I took, then we all talk about it.


Ready?


Super Hi Hi Big Fun Time #1!



Ice candy? Are you sure that's not a car battery because that thing's giving off electricity. Look how stoked that dude is for eating that ice candy. How great is that? Reminds me of when you were younger and you'd get super way excited for eating something like ice cream or a candy bar. Now you're older and you have real things to worry about like money and AIDS and cancer and ninjas.



I don't know the language that's on the box but I'm pretty sure that says "panda-flavored ice candy." Writing that, I just realized Am I being racist? Probably. Don't they eat dogs? They probably eat pandas, too.



This is a candy. A CANDY! And to think we Americans eat our candy from wrappers. How fooling we are. Japanese people apparently eat their candy from the intestines of pokemon rejects like Meowth's cousin Chang, pictured above.



TRANSLATION: Hello, japanese consumer-man. I am So-Pau, happy fun talk egg person. I have been born into life to spread curry into vein of world. Come with So-Pau and learn new life born of curry time. Like my apron?



I'm totally serious when I say this. I want to LIVE on this wrapper. I want to live the rest of my life right there on top of that yucky green crap, whatever it is, dancing with my new food friends with total abandon because all we care about is dancing and having fun. Hey, Tomato, guess what? Carrot says we're doing the cha-cha next! How awesome is our life? No, I'm not tired from all this dancing. Holy crap, I just literally crapped a rainbow! And I pee'd a unicorn baby. I love life! No more bullshit work drama for me! Man, somebody wake Broccoli's ass up, we're doin' the cha-cha!!



This is the junior novelization of the package before. Either that or the kids menu from Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.




Ok, this last one we need to talk about.


This was in the candy aisle.


Those are small dried up fish.


ACTUAL FISH!


Some of them still have their eyeballs, but most of the eyes were on a big pile on the bottom of the package.


REAL FISH!


What the fuck is going on with japanese people!?! We are talking about dried up fish babies sold in the candy aisle right next to Puchitto Hi-Chew and Super Black Sugar Choco Balls. And this is food? And people EAT it?


That's uncool.


And I can't BELIEVE I didn't buy it when I had the chance!!!




That's it for the packages of japanese food. Hope you liked it.


Stay tuned, root beer lovers, for a super sized boob filled new episode of THE ROOT BEER SHOW, the world's leading amateur root beer reviewing webisode.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

1) "Super Hi Hi Big Fun Time #1! "

Reminds me of, "Me so horney" and the kid on the box looks like he's had one pop too many.

2) Panda flavored ice cream isn't as bad as it sounds, but I prefer wombat.

5) I would live on the happy little wrapper with you but avacado called me a fag. I'm gonna go live on the curry book with the egg man instead.

6) Is that candy fish? I love candy fish even more than wobat flavored ice cream!!!!!

7) MORE FISH!!!!!!!!! I like it when you finish eatting all the fish, then tilt the bag up into your mouth so you get that massive salt and eyeball rush all at once.

The Bunster

JohnnyTieugi said...

That's so funny because I live in Japan and I see that craziness all the time. Once I saw a coca-cola ad in the middle of nowhere and all it said was "I feel Coke." Plus I saw a cartoon ad of a little girl riding a cherry. I think I have the pics somewhere... I'll post them on my blogspot someday.