NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Pictures From Our San Fran Trip With Michael Burns ...

My wife ...





A failed picture of the really neat way that the fog grabs the city like a hand ...




Feeling like an idiot at this nice japanese restaurant because I don't know what ANY of this stuff is ...




Me mid-pee in the world's smallest bathroom ...




Strange ad ...




Kick ass concert from The Presets at the Folsom Street Fair ...





The Presets: My People

The Presets: Kicking and Screaming

The Presets: Down Down Down


Me and my wife at the concert ...




My wife's titties ...




WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS THING MEAN ...




My wife took much better pictures on a real camera than I did on my phone:








I have more pictures that i'm going to make into a second post. I'm going to call it Awesome Packages Of Japanese Food I Found.


It's pretty awesome, especially the small crunchy fried fish fetuses. I'm serious. Totally should have bought them.


Here's one last picture for Burns ...




I'm nearing post #900 on this blog, which means I'm almost near 1,000 posts.


That's awesome, frightening, pathetic and cool.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Good News Boobs ...



Bad news is my wife has gone bowling and drinking with all her friends.


Good news is I got another sweet picture of Jen's huge honkin' boobies.


Life is good sometimes.


Spongebob Squarepants: Sweet Victory

MC Lars: Scientology=WTF?

Wish Me Luck ...



Going back to work today. It's a big Captain book storytime and I really can't miss it. Besides, we can't afford for me NOT to work.


Anyways, wish me luck.


Billy Bragg and Wilco: California Stars

Madonna: Take a Bow

Matt Costa: Sunshine

Social Distortion: Reach for the Sky

Friday, September 26, 2008

Not Again ...



Went to the doctor. I have a nasty infectious cold virus that's highly contagious. I'm dizzy, my nose and throat are on fire, and I am feeling clammy and feverish. What's worse is that my wife spent all day working, leaving me alone to take care of my two girls who will most definitely end up being sick themselves. This is the second day I've called in sick. That's two days of no pay. That hurting us so much financially its not funny.


I hate myself right now.


Forever the Sickest Kids: She's A Lady

Forever the Sickest Kids: Coffee Break

The Beatles: I'll Cry Instead

Paul McCartney: Dance Tonight

Monday, September 22, 2008

Nine Day Gauntlet ...



In order to have Woodmas off at work (October 10th, Ed Wood's birthday) I will have to work nine days in a row.


This is going to be fucking rough.


My wife and I had a big talk last night. Now its the next day and I feel like I have a hangover except with no drinking.


On the sidebar of this blog I now have a spot where I will be updating the current state of my health. Since November of last year I have been through a wide range of hideous health challenges, from my leg slashing to my rib fracturing to my ear infection to my cutting myself. My health changes so much that I thought what the fuck and decided to make it into a fun little changeable blog feature.


So be sure and check back for updates on my shitty ass health.


The Kinks: Apeman

G Love: Hot Cookin'

Eels: Selective Memory

Eels: Rags to Rags

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Woo-Hoo ...

Right before my wife took her and her kids home Jen let me take a picture of her huge honkin' boobies ...




SWEEEEEEET!


Primus: Mr. Krinkle

Primus: John the Fisherman

Weird Al: You Don't Love Me Anymore

Weird Al: Alternative Polka

Weird Al: Polkas on 45

Top 5 Artists With The Most Songs On My iPod ...

5) The White Stripes: 19
4) Perez Prado, the Latin King of Mambo: 21
3) Ween: 29
2) The Beatles: 45
1) Eels: 50


What a amazing race. Latin mambo king Perez Prado goes up to number four, Ween and The Beatles go down and so does Eels, bringing the space between the first and second spots down to only five songs. Eels have been the champions of my iPod for such a long time. Can the fab four overtake the E?


Here are some just taken pictures of me and "the gang" hanging out at my house today ...










And, last but not least, Jen's boobies ...




Awesome.

Further Treatment ...



Sunday and Monday off again. Further treatment, that's what my doctor says. It's my two consecutive days off to try not to go insane.


So here's what my day has been so far ... a nice cup of coffee, a handful of happy pills, an hour of porn, and that's pretty much been my morning until "the gang" returned from church. I confronted the wife a few weeks back and told her that although I totally supported her volunteering at church I HATED going with her every sunday. It made me uncomfortable and I put my foot down and told her I didn't want to go. So now sundays are MY days.


Jen and her two kids are spending the weekend with us. Shayla is older and a bit of a brat but her two intense diamond blue eyes can just cut you right open. Then there's Danielle, who pouted her way thru Bela's impromptu mall piercing birthday. Jen herself has gone thru a lot and has come out on top. She's nice, warm, funny and altogether cool to hang out with. Plus she's got huge honkin' boobies. They're very nice.


I've just been hanging out, typing, getting music from playlist.com and drinking coffee. Doing nothing. Listening to mellow jams and thinking about pinball.


Here's to laid back times.


G Love: Crumble

G Love: Still Hangin' Around

G Love and Special Sauce: Free At Last

G Love and Special Sauce: My Baby's Got Sauce

G Love and Special Sauce: Soft and Sweet

G Love featuring Tristan Prettyman: Beautiful


John Lennon: Real Love (full version)

John Lennon: Only You

John Lennon: Look At Me (demo)


Party Ben: Drop It Like It's A Whole Lotta Love

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Isabela's Cute, Happy, Painful Mall Birthday ...

Here are the incredibly awesome pictures of Isabela's spur of the moment sunday birthday celebration at Arden mall with Bela, Natasha, myself AND Isabela's new and sometimes depressed-looking friend Danielle ...










Arriving at Build-A-Bear. Didn't tell bela we were going here. She's pretty excited ...



















A Batman Build-A-Bear. How awesome is that?




My wife looked good.




She looked ESPECIALLY GOOD when she washed the dolls.




The pictures lost their quality after this but they're still good.







Good lunch at Johnny Rockets. Great steak sandwich, greasy as hell like I like it.




A man left alone at Libby Lu's. A man could go crazy.







Getting her ears pierced.







The pain.




Twenty seconds later: Crying.




Two minutes later: Upset.




Five minutes later: Pain forgotten.




After piercing carousel.







And, just for the record, the massive bowling alley at Watt and El Camino, the one by the ol' Tower Records place, one one with TWO arcades, has NO PINBALL GAMES!!!


A bowling alley is NOT a bowling alley without a pinball game, so sayeth the Steve.


If anyone knows of any pinball games in the Sacramento area, PLEASE let me know.


Here's some music for your punk ass.


John Lennon: Real Love

John Lennon: Bless You

John Lennon: Serve Yourself

John Lennon: Only You