NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Yeah ...

I'm at the party right now.


It ain't so bad. I played a bit of Lego Batman, played with the little kids before they went to bed - they all fell in love with me instantly and the adults couldn't believe how good I was with kids. Now I'm sitting on the porch and feeling the moisture from the fog on my face. It feels good. I'm still feeling pretty sick. I should probably call in but tomorrow I get time and a half, so I'm still working even if I'm coughing up a lung.


Happy new year, imaginary friends.

A New Year ...

Thank fucking GAWD!


Jim's Big Ego: New Lang Syne (Thank God It's Over)


So anyway, we're supposed to go to some dude's house for a new year's party tonight.


I don't really want to go. I kind of sort of hate people now. It's like I live in this really comfortable bubble. With a ps2. And the outside world just scares and confuses me.


But there WILL be free food.


But there will ALSO be a ton of drunk people, too, and I've just about had enough of situations in which beer pong might be played.


But free fucking food! You have no idea how much that means to me. I haven't been eating lunch or breakfast as a money saving measure. So I've been starving myself. Great. Just add that to the asthma and the broken toe and the cutting myself and all the other crap wrong with me.


And also, Natasha just stays at home nowadays. She takes care of the kids and reads and chats on the internets. That's all she does. She deserves to go out every once and a while. I mean, sure I do fucking nothing with my life but at least I get to go into the outside world five days a week, right? So I kind of feel like I owe it to her to go. Right?


I dunno. We might go. We might not. We'll see ...

Monday, December 29, 2008

Our New Cat Is Stuck In The Tree ...



I've got a few problems ...


My asthma is intensifying. I'm using my breathing machine 3 times a day and I'm almost out of the albuterol sulfate refills. I'm also almost out of ALL my medications. And I don't know if we can afford refills.


My doc prescribed this super inhaler medicine that's apparently supposed to fix me and end all my asthma problems. But it's forty bucks! I can't afford that.


I COULD have afforded that during Christmastime when I had a few hundred in my pocket. But all that cash went to making sure my kids and my wife got the Christmas I wanted them to have. Sure we had gifts. But I wanted what i used to have when I was growing up. We always had one BIG gift, one big thing that made that Christmas stick out.


I spent all that money I had trying to obtain some sort of perfect Christmas. And now I can't breathe.


I also don't have a phone anymore. I can't afford to pay the bill. So if my mom and dad are reading this, sorry I haven't called.


Plus I think I'm getting sick. I'm coughing up chunks of stuff and my nose has been on fire for the past two days.







Other than that, though, things are fairly happy at the Galindo house. We had a great Christmas. I got some awesome new video games I'm slowly starting to play so as not to go completely nutzo obsessed crazy like my wife gets. Lance got me and the fam a $25 Barnes and Noble gift card which I used to order two crappy old school Godzilla dvds. Should be here in a week. Plus the Dr. Horrible dvd should be here today or tomorrow. so we're excited about that.


We have no money to go out and do things as a family. So we just stay home. We watch cartoons and crappy movies and play games and listen to music on my new kick ass iPod speakers and generally just hang out and enjoy each others company.


We're a family in a plastic bubble.


As long as we stay in then the rest of the world can't get us.


But I fuckin' go back to work today. Another long, hard day of endless work and endless criticism with no respect, no thank you, no recognition of how awesome I truly am.


Hoo-fuckin-ray.


The White Stripes: Apple Blossom

Goldfinger: Tell Me

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from IMDB:


"The movies chosen for Mystery Science Theater 3000 were predominantly low-budget B-movies because the show itself was low-budget and producers could only afford films with expired copyright or had otherwise cheap licenses. The idea of RiffTrax came about after Mystery Science Theater 3000 was canceled and Nelson had researched and consulted a lawyer about the possibility of directly releasing DVDs of films with the commentaries included. But Nelson realized this initial idea was not feasible since he would be "sued out of existence." Instead, the best way to distribute the commentaries would be to sell them independently of the films, to avoid having to obtain the rights to distribute the movies themselves. There would be no legal or monetary restrictions to prevent Nelson from producing them, though viewers would have to provide the movies themselves.


Nelson has been accompanied by former Mystery Science Theater 3000 co-stars Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, Mary Jo Pehl, and Bridget Nelson, in addition to Internet personalities Richard Kyanka (of Something Awful fame), Josh Fruhlinger (the Comics Curmudgeon) and Chad Vader, as well as actors Neil Patrick Harris and Fred Willard, and satirist "Weird Al" Yankovic. Nelson has said that he would like to bring in other guests as well."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee
Root Beer
Roasted Garlic Rye Chips
Handful Of Pills
Deep Sense Of Self-Hatred And Shame Over Never Being Able To Do ANYTHING Fucking Right

Friday, December 26, 2008

Isabela Galindo's Christmas Pics ...

Notice something familiar with all of Isabela's pictures?


















Where the hell did she learn that fake smile head tilt thing?


Freaky.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

My Kids ...



They have been up since 4:30am.


FOUR-THIRTY IN THE MORNING!


I know its cliche for kids to wake up early on Christmas morning ...


Five Iron Frenzy: You Gotta Get Up


... but four thirty!?!


It's official. Emerald is insaine.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Morning Before Christmas ...



... and I have to close at work tonight. How lame is that? This is the second year in a row that I have to close on Christmas Eve. I hate leaving the kids on Christmas fucking Eve to go sell leftover crap to yuppies and rednecks without forethought. Plus there's always some manager there who A) has nowhere to go on Christmas Eve and therefore B) keeps us all working late to get things ready for the day AFTER Christmas. It's always a pain.


So, in my own private protest, I will be going to work ... dressed DOWN!!! No tie, no suit, no leather belt. Old school, comfortable, slightly punked out Steve. No way you're gonna make me dress up on Christmas Eve.


Here's more free yuletide music for your jolly punk ass. The first one you should listen to and think about me ...


The Long Winters: Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)

Dave Matthews Band: The Christmas Song

Rhythm Scholar VS Paul McCartney: Wonderful Christmastime (Rhythm Scholar Kringle Kut Remix)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas ...

... and here's some Christmas cheer!




And thank you Jose for this amazing Teen Wolf-related sports story.


Merry Christmas, dammit!



3am Post ...

It's 3:06am. A loud game of beer pong, which was played right outside my door, kept me up for almost two hours tonight. I woke up starving, thirsty, and desperately needed a breathing treatment for my asthma. But most of the drunk beer pongers were making fun of me, calling me Natasha's "wife." Now they're gone so that I can come out of my cave and drink water and breathe properly again.


I have to work at 8am.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Steve Spreads Christmas Joy OR What I Was Doing This Sunday Instead Of Blogging ...

So here's footage of Isabela and the church preschool kids performing last sunday. It's incredible! Watch them dance, sing, juggle fire, do stupendous backflips and perform other AMAZING, death-defying feats! Their abilities will astound and amaze you! They perform two Christmas carols at church. One kid breakdances. One tap dances while her shoes are on FIRE! Another young boy whistles Zippity-Do-Dah out of his asshole. It's all just so magical!


Then one kids cries and Bela calls her out when she doesn't pick up her bells. Then she yells at daddy for taking pictures. Pretty funny.




Plus, there's a new Christmas post up on my stupid blog. Pretty heartbreakingly sweet.


And here are some Christmas pictures to compliment that post, pictures of me and the fam decorating our cute fake tree ...














Almost Christmas, everybody.


All hands brace for impact.


Weezer: O Come All Ye Faithful

Jack johnson: Someday At Christmas

Vince Guaraldi: Linus and Lucy (Pocketknife’s Hark, the Holler Remix)

Run DMC: Christmas In Hollis

The Day Before The Day Before The Night Before Christmas ...



... and I'm spending it cooking and taking care of the kids and cleaning up the house while Natasha goes out shopping. We've been done shopping for the kids ages ago, so I'm only assuming she's finally getting around to getting me something for Christmas.


Hope I get something good.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Steve's (usually) Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from Wiki:


Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, released in Japan as San Daikaijū: Chikyū Saidai no Kessen (三大怪獣 地球最大の決戦, San Daikaijū: Chikyū Saidai no Kessen? lit. "Three Giant Monsters: The Greatest Battle on Earth") and originally released in the US as Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster, is a 1964 tokusatsu kaiju film, and is the 5th film in Toho's Godzilla series. It was directed by Ishiro Honda with special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya.


This movie is noted for having Godzilla playing a role where he benefits Japan, instead of trying to destroy it. It also features Mothra and Rodan. This film also marks the first appearance of King Ghidorah, who would become Godzilla's most frequently recurring opponent, appearing as Godzilla's enemy in Invasion of the Astro Monster, Destroy All Monsters, Godzilla vs. Gigan, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, GMK, and as Godzilla's final opponent dubbed as Kaiser Ghidorah in Godzilla: Final Wars.


New York Times film critic Vincent Canby gave it a rather condescending review, concluding with, "This fascination, on the part of contemporary Japanese filmmakers, with the destruction of their land by fantastic, prehistoric forces only 20 years after Hiroshima, might be of interest to social historians. The film, otherwise, is strictly for the comic book set."




Steve's Snacks of the Week:


Cheetos
Coffee
Paxil
Seizure Calm-Me Pills
Fish Oil Pils
Sexual Frustration


Watch Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster FOR FREE Now!


And here's a cool Godzilla song for you, too. Have fun ...


Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



... will NOT be seen this week on account of me having to go to church to see the kids do their christmas performances.


But later today I plan on getting my Ghidorah on, so stay tuned.

Friday, December 19, 2008

My Work Hand ...



For the past two days there's been something seriously wrong with my left hand and my wrist. It hurts to grab things, pick things up, or to put any sort of pressure on it. Hurts like hell to pick up a stack of four books or to open a door. It hurts so damn bad. When I got home I ate some McDonald's and when I was done I crumpled up the wrapper and it hurt like hell. It hurt to crumple up a hamburger wrapper! How fucking horrible is that?


I thought that on thursday maybe I slept on it wrong. But this morning it felt even worse than it did yesterday. I'm worried that something's seriously wrong with it. I mean, the shattered bone in my toe and my weak legs hurt enough for my whole body. Now I have something ELSE wrong with me.


But even though it hurts when I'm working, I'm trying not to make a big deal about it at work. I have a feeling a few managers hate me. I have a feeling I'm being needlessly focused on. I have a feeling that despite raising my section from last in the district to second, despite having the only department that's successful, despite all that I'm being constantly attacked for doing things wrong. I have a feeling my department's success is being PURPOSELY silenced. I have a feeling that someone may be trying to push me out.


This might just be my personal paranoia. And it might be the pills. But I don't want to give them yet ANOTHER reason to get rid of me.


Plus I have so much constantly wrong with me, one health problem after another after another, and in my eight plus years with this company I've seen a number of lifers at my work quietly phased out and put out to pasture for being injured and sickly.


And I don't want to be the next one.


Beck: Guess I'm Doing Fine

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Random Picture Time ...

My rare Godzilla tamagotchi that I bought about 11 years ago. You feed it, raise it, and eventually teach it to crush buildings and stomp on people. I'm missing the back to the battery case and tape doesn't seem to push down the batteries, so I can't get it to work longer than a few seconds, but it's still the high prince of awesomeness ...



Me asleep in my full body footsie pajamas ...



Isabela totally stealing the show at my daughter's big birthday party sleepover ...



My wife's amazing ass in my favorite pants at my daughter's big birthday party sleepover ...



A very small picture that I took of racial segregation at Target. Apparently black people are forced to buy "colored" pencils ...



Me at storytime ...



Getting my bowl on ...



Another supremely foggy morning drive to work. I've been waking up every other morning it seems like to severe fog warnings. It's been beyond San Francisco fog. This is totally Stephen King-level fog ...



The dog sleeping in our basket of (no longer) clean clothes ...



An old pic of me looking good next to our old store manager. Good times ...



Natasha's cousin Alicia's very nice ass ...



The two Galindo pirates last Halloween ...



Two cuties ...



Emerald doing karaoke at her party ...



Isabela being cute and about to fall asleep ...



Emerald, the school play superstar ...



... and here's an old favorite of my brother and my cousin Tony and me to get you in the Christmas spirit.




PUNISH!!!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from Wiki:


Mothra Versus Godzilla (モスラ対ゴジラ, Mosura tai Gojira?) (also known as Mothra Against Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. the Thing, etc.) is a tokusatsu kaiju film, fourth in the Godzilla series, produced by Toho Company Ltd. in 1964. The film was the product of the celebrated creative team of Shinichi Sekizawa (screenplay), Ishirô Honda (human drama), and Eiji Tsuburaya (special effects).


American International Pictures originally released the film in the United States in September 1964, and it opened in New York City on November 25, 1964. Retitled Godzilla vs. the Thing, Mothra's appearance was kept out of promotional material, which hinted that Godzilla's opponent would be a hideous tentacled creature and referred to it only as "The Thing". New York Times film critic Eugene Archer reacted to the film and its title: "Well, there are three things, not counting the movie. One has wings and looks like a big bee. The other two are hatched from the first Thing's egg, after quite a bit of worshipful kootch dancing from a pair of foot-tall native goddesses...".


In video releases of the 1980s, the film was titled simply Godzilla vs. Mothra. However, Mothra is still repeatedly called "The Thing" in the film, confusing many film-goers who thought "The Thing" and "Mothra" were two separate monsters. This is the only Showa Godzilla film to be nearly completely intact for American release (a very few small unimportant scenes were edited out)


This film marks the first appearance of Mothra in a Godzilla film. Mothra would go on to be Godzilla' most frequent kaiju co-star, appearing in Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, Ebirah, Horror of the Deep, Destroy All Monsters, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla, GMK, Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla, Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S., and Godzilla: Final Wars.




Steve's Snacks of the Week:


Chips
Coffee
Coke (the soda)
Neapolitan Ice Cream
Paxil
Seizure Calm-Me Pills
Super Red Devil Pain Pills


Watch Godzilla VS Mothra For Free Now!


Pharoahe Monche: Simon Says

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Huge Giggling Nightmare ...

Emerald is turning seven in a few days, so she's having a big craft party sleepover. And it's TONIGHT


She invited about eight girls. Eight loud, crazy, giggling little girls. Eight small crazy ass girls, all running around and ging crazy and above all testing the power of daddy's brain pills.


Tonight is going to be absolutely insane. Wish me the best of luck.


John Lennon: Working Class Hero

Guns N' Roses: 14 Years

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My Toe ...



I broke it.


I was running to the bathroom to go help Isabela and I cracked my little toe on the sharp corner of the steel bed frame that was upright and leaning near the door of the bathroom. Hit the steel corner running at full force. The picture is on the way to the doctor. It's a bit too bright to see but it was pink and a bit purple on the side and it was swollen up like a vienna sausage. And I couldn't move it at all.


Now I have this big black post-surgical cast shoe that I have to wear and it makes my limp even limpier. Plus it's the holidays and this big black duck boot cuts my speed in half. It's really bad news for me going into the holiday season.


That's that. I'm tired. Need to go to sleep.


Ben Kweller: The Rules

Monday, December 8, 2008

FU-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-UCK ...



I broke one of my baby toes yesterday.


How lame is that?


More later. i've got to elevate this bitch ...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Now It's A DOUBLE FEATURE ...



Yoinked from the wiki:


Destroy All Monsters, released in Japan as Kaijū Sōshingeki (怪獣総進撃, Kaijū Sōshingeki? lit. "All-Out Charge of the Monsters" or "Charge of the Monsters"), is a 1968 daikaiju eiga (Monster Movie). The ninth in Toho Studios' Godzilla series, it was directed by Ishiro Honda with special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya and Sadamasa Arikawa. While the plot resembles that of Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965), this entry is significant in that it showcases 11 daikaiju, a record for the Godzilla series until Godzilla: Final Wars (2004). Several of these (Gorosaurus, Baragon, Manda, Varan) had only appeared in their debut films at this point; others (Anguirus, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Minilla, Kumonga) returned from previous Godzilla films.


This film takes place at "The close of the 20th Century" (1999 in the subsequent English-dubbed versions, so it is considered the last movie of the Showa Series).




On sundays I see the girls off to church, get my pRon on, and then when I'm done I put on some stupid movie that I usually don't get to see with the girls around. Today I watched "Godzilla vs Mecha-Godzilla" and I absolutely LOVED IT! I think that this is the reason for the sudden green guy marathon. Anyway, I loved the movie so much that when the girls came back from church I watched it again with them, only this time we all MST3K-ed it and had a blast.


Now it's movie two, "Destroy All Monsters," and I'm starting to lose the kids. Em's watching it just a little bit and Bela's watching it here and there But Deinna is TOTALLY INTO IT and I couldn't be more proud.


I think that with my training Deinna could grow up to be pretty damn cool.

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from Wikipedia:


Godzilla Versus Mecha-Godzilla (ゴジラ対メカゴジラ, Gojira Tai Meka-Gojira?), originally known in the United States as Godzilla vs. the Bionic Monster and subsequently Godzilla vs. the Cosmic Monster, is a 1974 tokusatsu kaiju film. This was the 14th of the Toho studio's Godzilla series, it was directed by Jun Fukuda with special effects by Teruyoshi Nakano and the original score composed by Masaru Sato.


The movie has become popular among fans in recent years for its strange music, colorful special effects and entertaining monster fights. The film's robust themes and fairly complex plot stand out against a time when the Godzilla franchise was being fueled by increasingly lower production values.




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Way Too Buttery Popcorn
Root Beer
Coffee
Chips
Bag Of Melted Marshmallows
Paxil
Seizure Calm-Me Pills
Super Red Devil Pain Pills