-I'm on the computer watching youtube videos about the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. I really miss that place and my thoughts stray to my old friend Michael Burns who could somehow afford random trips to Disneyland whenever he wanted to. I struggle with bills and I survive paycheck to paycheck. I don't have money for myself. I wish I could be Michael Burns sometimes.
-My daughter Isabela is playing Lego Star Wars. That's all she wants to do lately. It's a great game and all that but having to play it and help her with it ALL DAY is grating on my nerves.
-Emerald just came home from school. She got her report card. All A's. We're very proud of her. Now she's playing Star Wars with Bela and the two of them are at each others throats, yelling at each other about who should go where and do whatever.
-My wife is currently locked up in the bedroom taking sexy (and possibly nude) pictures of a female friend of ours that I think is very attractive. And that's really sexy and exciting and all that but I'm not allowed to watch or be involved with what they're doing at all. So I'm being shut out of the photo shoot. It's frustrating. I'm so frustrated sexually right now my pants could explode.
-Lauren and Duane's dog Penny is here, too, and he's a hyperactive little yappy-type dog who's running around like a super crazy mad crackhead. It's driving me mad.
-I called in sick for work. Always feel guilty about that. I wanted to get some rest today because I haven't been sleeping a lot, my energy levels throughout the day have been lowering, I've been exhausted constantly and I'm starting to get rings around my eyes. But instead of resting I took care of Bela and fucked around on the computer. That's it. Totally wasted day.
-We have a ton of money. A ton of it. And it's ALL going to bills. So we have money. But we're broke. It's frustrating as fuck and when I think about our family's financial situation I just can't help but think that I am a horrible father and a horrible provider. My mind is trying to bring me down. And it's kinda working.
-My iPod is trying to play over all of this. Hyperactive rock, mellow lounge, sad moody songs, crazy Japanese pop, mad punk covers, Sinatra. The song styles are changing faster than my mind's moods.
-My head, my brain, it feels like it's on fire. I can't explain it. My brain feels like it's about to explode. I want to get a rusty fork and just scoop my brain out. either that or slam my head into a wall until all the noise and screaming stops.
Anyway, there you go. That is my life. Sometimes it drives me absolutely batshit insane and sometimes it's great. Today is somewhere in-between. I'm right on the verge of having an anxiety attack right now and screaming on the top of my lungs. But I'm not there yet, so as long as I'm not in the red then everything's ok.
Here's some music for your punk ass courtesy of the Wind Clan ...
By the way, this is the 999th since 2002.
Get ready. We're just inches away from a loneliness milestone ...
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