NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Life Headlines ...


This Is Why The Rest Of The World Hates Us
According to a recent story, Brad Pitt allegedly spent $82,000 on a custom home for the family gerbils. This is why I am becoming agoraphobic and why I want to spend the rest of my life locked away in my house. This website is another reason.


Wood Lives On In Spirit Of Mexican Man
I've gotten in the habit of occasionally wearing a skit around the house. It's a long, dark, multicolored skirt, the sort of thing a hippie would wear or a fiftysomething white woman who works at a store that sells magical healing crystals. I put it on one day after work and surprisingly my entire family, including my kids and wife and step-family, has quickly adapted to it. The funny thing about me in a skirt is that yes I'm the founder of Woodism, the world's only Ed Wood-based religion and I have spent thirteen years of my life preaching Ed Wood's wisdom and truth. But I really don't think about Ed when I wear the skirt. I just wear it because it's comfy as fuck.


The Ghost Of Arizona Mall Haunts Area Man
I have been having reoccurring dreams, sometimes nightmares, featuring Metrocenter Mall, the mall I spent most of my childhood and teenage life at. These are deeply vivid dreams and they're freaking me out. I think it's my mind trying to tell me to move to Phoenix. Back to Arizona, back to the heat. It's me subconsciously yearning for a life in Arizona. I miss it. There's no denying it.




Three-Year-Old Blogs For First Time
And now I turn my blog over to my soon to be four-year-old daughter Isabela ... et jls ww ertu io opp i4 3221 246ui oop [[p wzxfvb j, bn hkj loo hg y u i o ewrrt upo [pu7u o ;gt yuol pop p456666 7 8so9op 0poytju yino jyuyo77p pi '[p0pkj . gfjmr jf k m5tk, u; yeei / 7ew3 5478 889 90- - == u6555t yuii t rre r ghj j k ,l ,mm,nnbv ccv fgh k, / tty yrer try ikll;. . Wow. That was amazing. What a profound insight there.


Cutting Opens Door To Other Things
I don't hide the fact that I have self-esteem issues or that I cut myself. No. My life is an open, lonely, pathetic book. Well, I'm proud to say that I think I have stopped cutting myself. Work has been good, my relationship with my wife has been improving, she's slowly starting to quit her "job" and everything's pretty content in my life right now (save my pathetic bankrupt ass). But now I've been scratching the scars, scratching them obsessively over and over and over again until they open up and bleed again. so now my cutting scars are more pronounced. Just another chapter in my crazy ass life.


Seasons, Music Change
It's September, which means it's almost October. Halloween. It's the holiest month in my religion. It gets darker, colder, moodier. The world seems to finally catch up to the inner moodiness that I feel all the time. And it means the holidays are fast approaching. Seasons change and with that my music styles change. It's times like this when I really miss my iPod. But I've been listening to old burned Halloween cds and it's been great. Time for darkness and bats and the spirit of Woodism to shine thru.


Here's some free music to get you ready ...


Oingo Boingo: Dead Man's Party

The 5 Blobs: Beware Of The Blob

The Buoys: Timothy

The Immigrants: Me And Bela Lugosi

Colbra Starship: Snakes On A Plane

Emerald and Reverend Steve: The Woodmas Song

Eels: Teenage Witch

The Gothic Archies: The World Is A Very Scary Place

Prewar Yardsale: Would Ed Wood?


That's it for now.


Wind clan out.

No comments: