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Thursday, October 15, 2009

!!! ...

I got about TEN HOURS OF SLEEP last night! YAY!!! I mean, this is so rare, this is such an honor, I feel like I should give an acceptance speech or something, you know?



Plus I also had a strange ass, magnesium-induced dream where ...

A) I was living with my parents and my brother in a two story log cabin,
B) I had to get dressed in one of my work suits for a funeral in mexico and I pee'd myself,
C) I went with my family (my wife and kids) to go see a play that was the absolute best and funniest play EVER,
D) After the play we saw that Johnny Carson was taping The Tonight Show somewhere in the same theater (was this heaven?),
E) Even though my two kids were frightened, we snuck in to a taping of The Tonight Show and it was awesome,
F) Later, in a dark room, I tried (and almost succeeded) to fuck a very horny heavy set black woman.

These are the dreams I have while on the cheap ass bottle of magnesium pills I bought at Walmart. Chuck Klosterman wrote in Esquire that it was like he was having dreams on a black and white television set but when he started taking magnesium pills his dreams were in color on an HDTV.

Seriously, everyone should take magnesium before they go to bed. It's totally freaking amazing!

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