NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week, Part 2 ...



Yoinked from the Wikipedia and re-written by me ...


"Drive In Massacre is a 1976 horror movie, written by George 'Buck' Flower (as Buck Flowers), John Goff, and Stu Segall (as Godfrey Daniels), and directed by Stu Segall, with make up effects credited to 'the Duke of Disguise'. The co-writer John Goff allegedly also has a cameo in the film but this is unconfirmed. The title of the film is shown as though it were written in letters on the marquee of an actual drive in theater.


The plot begins on August 10th in a California drive-in theatre, and concerns a killer on the loose, with the victims beheaded with a large sword. Two police are sent to investigate the killings, and question the owner of the drive in and his assistant, and a local peeping Tom, before going undercover to catch the killer themselves.


The original video release also includes the theatrical trailer, in which the title is misspelled as Drive In Masacre. This was retitled 'Drive In Killer' for its West German release.


One of the co-writer, George Buck Flower (October 28, 1937 – June 18, 2004), went on to have a very successful career as an actor, writer, producer, assistant director, production manager, and casting director. He was sometimes credited as Buck Flower, George "Buck" Flower, George Flower, Buck Flowers, C. D. LaFleur, C.D. LaFleure, C.D. Lafleuer, and C.D. Lafleur.


Due to his gruff appearance, he was often cast as a drunk or homeless character and had bit parts on numerous television shows including The Dukes of Hazzard, LA Law, Power Rangers Light Force, ER, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Director John Carpenter gave Flower a cameo role in almost every film he made throughout the 1980s and he also appeared as Red The Bum in the Back to the Future movies."


Wow. That's some interesting stuff right there. So the drunk guy who said "Crazy drunk drivers" in Back to the Future helped write the piece of shit I'll be watching today.


That's good to know.




Steve's Snacks of The Week:


Ton Of Coffee To Stay Awake

Whatever Candy I Can Find

Peanut Butter

Chocolate Coins To Dunk IN Peanut Butter

Probably More Pills


... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Weel in its entirety FOR FREE! Yes, yes, no need to thanks us. Please, though, a few rules first. No talking in the theater, no cell phones, please, and dim headlights (where applicable).


Oh, and remember ...




Enjoy the show, y'all!


Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from Wiki with the end picked away from 1000misspenthours.com ...


"I Bury the Living was a 1958 horror film directed by famed B-movie director Albert Band, father of Charles Band, and starring Richard Boone and Theodore Bikel.


Robert Kraft (Richard Boone) is the newly appointed chairman of a committee that oversees a colossal cemetery. The cemetery is so large that a map is kept in the cemetery office displaying the grounds and each gravesite. Filled graves are marked by black pins and unoccupied but sold graves are marked with white pins. New to the position and unobservant, Kraft accidentally places a pair of black pins where they don't belong, only to discover later that the young couple who had bought the gravesites in question died in an automobile accident soon afterwards. Under repeated tries, he finds that every time he places a black pin over an unoccupied grave, someone dies. Kraft slips into deep guilt and depression and believes he is cursed, while the cemetery caretaker (Theodore Bikel in a heavy Scots accent) knows more than he's telling.




Don’t get your hopes up, though. Screenwriter Louis Garfinkle reaches down into the big trunk marked “Bait and Switch” at this point, and pulls out a real whopper.


Not since The Beast with Five Fingers had a horror film gone out on a more annoying note. The parallel between that movie and I Bury the Living is made even stronger by the fact that both pictures, up until their disastrous final reels, are among the finest that their eras have to offer. I Bury the Living comports itself in the same manner as the very best episodes of the original Twilight Zone, and begins with just the sort of off-kilter premise that made that show so memorable when it was at the top of its game. But unlike The Twilight Zone, I Bury the Living never takes a preachy or sentimental tone, even for a minute. Albert Band’s direction is exceptionally crisp for a 50’s film, with nearly as much drive and energy as the rest of United Artists’ 1958 lineup combined. The cast is strong in an understated way, and benefits from including nobody whom I particularly recognize— and wonder of wonders, the Cartoon Scotsman isn’t unendurably annoying. Finally, I Bury the Living is well served by a highly distinctive score which draws just the right amount of attention to itself. You’re always aware of it, and of its lack of meaningful similarity to any other horror movie music you can remember, but it never distracts you from the action unfolding above it.


If only it weren’t for that stupid, stupid ending …"


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee

Pills

Breathing Treament

Anything Else I Can Find 'Cuz We Have No Food


... and here's the opening of the film. Well, it does look spooky enough. I just really hope that this supposed horrible ass ending doesn't upset me.




I might go into DOUBLE FEATURE mode later, so stay tuned.


Here's what I've seen so far ...


December 7th: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla

December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra

December 21st: Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster

December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)

January 4th: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster

January 11th: Series 7 (The Contenders)

January 18th: House of Wax

January 25th: Police Story 3

February 1st: Left Behind the Movie

February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon

February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar

March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup

March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars

March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster

March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros

March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter"

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Bitter, Angry Story of My New Contacts ...

So anyway I was at work this morning at 7am, which required me to wake up at 5am to get ready. I couldn't fall asleep the night before so I ended up only getting about four hours sleep, but I worked my butt off and shelved like crazy. And once I was finished, which was only about an hour before I was scheduled to leave, my glasses just totally snap in two. I try to fix them but no way. They were just totally broken. So I had no glasses, no VISION (my prescription is -9, by the way) and no way for me to drive home. So I went to one of the managers and said I had to leave early and he was okay with it. But when I clocked out one of the OTHER managers got angry with me and said that if HE were the manager on duty that he would have written me up. It's like I'm in trouble because of a freak accident that wasn't my fault. He said I wasn't "prepared" for work and I should have had a "spare pair of glasses" ready. Ok. So should I also bring shoelaces? Maybe a spare pair of pants? Shoes? A new shirt? Maybe I should bring a suitcase to work? I mean, what the hell? That is rude and mean and just totally uncool. I can't see and I'm getting in trouble for it. What the fuck? You know what I mean?


Anyway, I went to a Sears and my cool new eye guy got me a free pair of contacts that I don't have to take out of my eyes for a month but I'm pretty sure I still will. But work really hurt. I'm blind and having a panic attack and I'm getting yelled at about it. Now I'm feeling bitter. Bitter and handsome.


Post 1,033: Fucking Mornings ...



Word must have gotten out that I kinda like shelving at work. Because I work at 7am most of next week. That means waking up at 5am to get ready.


I am so fucking tired.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Me, According To Reviews Of Plays I've Been In ...

I, Steve Galindo, am ...




"... totally invested and, though awkward in first act pacing, embrace [my] roles with the kind of commitment necessary to pull off the impossible." -Fight Club, Reviewed 6/00


"... provides caricatures of performances."
-Pulp Fiction, Reviewed 3/98


"... full of annoying routines by a maniacal cheerleader (Steve Galindo), who puts hexes and leads the cast in exasperating group chants."
-Bleacher Bums, Reviewed 5/01


"... and Steve Galindo also had moments of insane lucidity."
-One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Reviewed 6/97




Let's sum up ...


I'm awkward in the beginning, I'm totally invested in what I do. I have the kind of commitment necessary to pull off the impossible. I provides caricatures. I am full of annoying routines. I am exasperating. And I have moments of insane lucidity.


Great. That's pretty much me.

Captain Book: The Book ...



Later today I will be meeting with my possible illustrator about a possible series of books based on my Captain Book storytime character. Apparently he's been working on a really nice illustration of the Captain and he's going to star working on one for the evil and sinister Dr. Borderz.


I'm nervous. I spent almost two years on Captain Book, creating a superhero character that kids loved. We had lengthy plotlines, epic scripts, a dense mythology, and lengthy backstories. I worked my ass off creating a live action comic book for kids. I actually felt CREATIVE and it felt wonderful. I used my co-workers and they helped me create new villains and plotlines and they even acted them out in front of some pretty huge crowds. The management of the store backed me up and believed in me and gave me whatever I needed. I even got the store manager and the DISTRICT manager to play people. It was huge. It was hilarious. It was a fun ass ride ...










... and the kids at storytime freakin' ate it UP. It was great. I kept thinking that all this crazy crap would just totally go over their heads but they KNEW it. They knew every character and their origin and what they were up to. It was amazing. Some kids thought I was Dr. Borderz and some kids just THOUGHT they were two different people. They all just bought it.


A stupid little superhero thing blew up into something infinitely bigger than I would have ever imagined.




But then things changed. First off, our hero Kenton moved to San Francisco. Then our store management changed. Our new management stopped supporting me like they used to. I once had six people helping me at storytime and now I can't even get one to help me.


Yeah. That's how me and Captain Book broke up.




Now my wife is pushing me to make a kids book about Captain Book. She wants me to write it. Or she'll write it herself, she says. She even got an illustrator ready. And this guy's good. Damn good. And I'm excited. I am.


It's just that the way I feel about Captain Book right now is the way I feel about my ex-girlfriend Debby Bell. She was great. We had a great fucking time. It was a good run and we had a blast and we were amazing friends and we partied our asses off. But my time with her feels like so long ago. I've moved on and grown up. I'm a different person from the person that I was with her. I look back fondly on my time with her and sometimes I wish that I could go back to that. But I'm different. That part of me is dead now, just a memory, and now that's crystallized as nothing more than an awesome memory.


Now replace Debby with Captain Book.


Therein lies my trepidation.




Anyways, today I go out of my ANgoraphobic bubble. Wish me luck ...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Pictures From My 32nd Birthday ...

The cookout. Great hamburgers, root beers, teenage girls in tight pants, hot dogs. Whole bunch of fun ...



My awesome new racist shirt ...



Shayla and her amazing backyard ...



King, the dog I love to chase ...



Bela and her new mustache. The Savemart by our house has twenty-five cent mustaches, so expect more mustache pics soon ...



The Rolling Stones: 19th Nervous Breakdown

Beast of Burden

Update On My 32nd Birthday ...



No Church-Less Movie of the Week. Had to go to church. My wife said I didn't have to but I knew it would be a "thing" if I stayed at home, so I went.


It's been an okay day so far. I got seasons 1 and 2 of My Name Is Earl, which I'm kinda happy about. I also got season 1 of The Riches, which I am extremely excited about. I also got a racist t-shirt, two expensive tickets to the WWE pay-per-view here in Sacramento in a few months, two hardcore fuckings from my hot ass wife, and a promise of more special things to come.


Now we're going to go to Jen's house. Jen's "husband" Joe is a nice guy and his birthday was tomorrow, so he's going to have a big barbecue today and it's going to be a sort of dual birthday thing with him and I. I said okay to the barbecue solely so that I could have more time to play with the girls in their huge backyard. But Joe wants to "get to know me" and I think Jen and Natasha are trying to use his intrigue over me to hook us up as friends.


It'll be a bit uncomfortable because I'm highly agoraphobic (or, as I like to call it, ANgoraphobic) and I'm not really up to being buddy buddy on some new bro-date. But if getting to know a new person and interact with somebody new is what I have to do for steak and an awesome backyard, then so be it.


Wish me luck ...


So far NO Godzilla movies OR iTunes gift certificates. Just an FYI.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Spaghetti Time ...



I just totally did my wife. It was so hot it was hawt.


Now we're going to a spaghetti dinner at Emerald's school. It's a dinner and talent show, so I get semi-good food, Ed Wood-ian talent, and a spoonful of christianity. What fun.


Wish me luck ...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Day My Head Finally Explodes ...

Things are incredibly tense around here.


My wife is very agitated and extremely annoyed. We just had a big argument about coffee of all things. And her brother and sister-in-law are arguing which seems to be what they do best. And Emerald and Isabela both have the nastiest coughs you can imagine. Em's cough is keeping her awake and Bela's cough is making her a total screeching crybaby. Right now she's screaming that I need to cover her up because she can't cover herself up. It's the small blanket she uses all the time. I tell her to just pick it up and cover herself up and that just makes her snap screaming and wailing and crying big baby tears and suddenly I'm the worst dad in the world.


And add to that the fact that my forehead is throbbing, I'm tired and hungry, we're running out of money again apparently, our car is running like shit, my glasses are getting so scratched I'm having slight vision problems, I'm not getting enough sleep, Emerald is starting to get an "I don't want to listen to my daddy" attitude, and the fact that I worked my butt off today and no one seemed to care.


But my brother's moving back to Sacramento.


And I am so fucking psyched about that.


He just might make me sane again.




My wife is off "working" for the next few days.


Wish me luck.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Bitchings And Moanings About My Soon-To-Be Birthday ...



My birthday is this sunday.


I will be 32 years old.


And I will not be having any sort of party this year. I have decided that I do not want one.


And before you say or think anything, my decision not to have a party is NOT about my age or about getting older or anything like that.


It's about my lack of friends.


I remember the time a few years back when we reserved like two or three big, giant tables for a birthday party at that beer factory place, Hoppy's, and I told everybody about it and I made flyers and put it in the break room at work and I even passed them out to people. We're talking big, huge, massive family tables. And I told the waiter people that anywhere from ten to thirty people might show up, who KNOWS how many people might be there? Well, it was just me, my wife and Gwen. And then we called Megan to join us so that I didn't seem like such a loser.


Or there was year that we drove to Phoenix and had a big surprise birthday party planned for me with all my old friends. But all my old "friends" ended up being just three people. Great. I spend years missing a city. Turns out the city had completely forgotten who I was.


And then last year I decided to throw a party at my house. But only two people could make it. Two people. Damn. How fucking sad is that?


I would like a huge party. I would LOVE one.


But I'm turning 32. I'm in my thirties now. I mean, look at me. I'm married with a wife and two kids and I'm ALSO married to stressful job where I'm constantly being pushed to my physical limit while having my decisions constantly undermined by a fanatical devotion to corporate rules, a total lack of communication, and a manager that does not fully believe in me.


I blinked my eyes and looked in the mirror and didn't know who I was looking at. I have suddenly found myself to be a grown-up, respectable man in his thirties who wears suits and reads Esquire and who lost all semblance of friendship a long, long time ago.


I used to have friends when I was in high school and in college. And then when I moved to Sacramento I picked up a ton of friends who were with me ALL the time. But I soon learned that they were drinking friends. Our relationship was based solely on drinking. And when I stopped drinking, they stopped being my friends.


I think I used to have friends at work. But work's not the same. Hardly anyone's happy at work now and hardly anyone's truly friendly. We USED to be a family but now it's like we're all being whipped into shape for some reason. Here's a good example for you about how work has changed ... did you know that management is now telling me that my family can't come to store events like storytime? My own goddamn KIDS can't come visit their father and watch storytime! How fucked up is that? But, ahem, I guess that's not appropriate anymore in this new stick up its ass regime. I now have to tell my two daughters why my store doesn't want them to be there anymore. That's fucked up. That's so fucking fucked up. That is mean and cruel. That's not a family atmosphere. And they're not a family to me. They're not even friends to me. No. They're work. They're a job.


The truth is I would love another party. I would. But if I throw another one I'm pretty sure that maybe if I'm lucky one person will show up. And I do not want to once again have that feeling, the "no one wants to come to my party" feeling. So this sunday it will be just me and the kids at home. Maybe a present or two. Maybe some root beer. Maybe some KFC. Maybe we'll go somewhere, do something. I dunno.




But no party.


I don't want to feel like a fucking loser again on my birthday.


The Beatles: Yesterday


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...

Today's film is an old favorite. I saw it a million times during my high school and college years. It's been a few years since I've seen it last, so today's the day ...




Yoinked from Wiki:


"The Street Fighter (激突!殺人拳 ,Gekitotsu! Satsujin Ken), literally Clash, Killer Fist!, is a Japanese martial arts film released in 1974 and produced by Toei Company Ltd. Inspired by the world-wide success of Enter the Dragon, Toei decided to release its own martial arts action films and cast Shinichi "Sonny" Chiba who had been well known in Japan for a while, having starred in many successful action, comedy and drama films, as well as numerous television shows.


The film is well known for its extreme and graphic violent content. The Street Fighter was the first film to receive an X rating solely for violence. The film was especially controversial because of a scene in which Tsurugi castrates a rapist with his bare hands; it is this scene (among others) that reputedly gained the film its 'X' rating. 16 minutes were later edited from the film in order to get an R-rating.


The Street Fighter inspired two sequels, Return of The Street Fighter and The Street Fighter's Last Revenge. Additionally, the film Sister Street Fighter is a spin-off of the film. There was another spinoff entitled Kozure Satsujin Ken, but was brought to the US by a different company under the title Karate Warriors. In 1993, the film (and its sequels) received mainstream exposure in North America when they were featured in Tony Scott's True Romance (written by Quentin Tarantino), which had the two lead characters spending time at a Sonny Chiba Street Fighter marathon."




The Street Fighter (theme clip)

The Street Fighter Theme (techno remix)

The Street Fighter Hates Punks Worse Than Anything



Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee

Root Beer

Pills

Rocky Road Ice Cream

Dreams Of My Wife Bringing Me Home Burger King From Church


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you (and I believe this will work) for the first time on this blog, Steve's Church-Less Movie of the Week FREE!


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Oh My Gawd ...



There are five kids in my house right now. There's my two daughters. Then there's Deinna my niece and my unofficial other daughter. The there's two infants, kids of an old friend of Natasha's family, and all these two kids are doing is screaming and crying and yelling. Non stop. It makes me want to smash my head into a brick wall.


Add to that the fact that I've been awake since I had a bad asthma attack at 4:30am.


I'm pretty sure that I'm going batshit insane.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Introducing Steve the Hermit ...



Agoraphobia (from Greek aγορά, "marketplace"; and φόβος/φοβία, -phobia) is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to his or her home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."


That's me. Don't know how its happened but that's me in every way.


Somewhere between my twenties and thirties I have become a hermit, a shut-in, an agoraphobic locked in his house afraid and angry at the stupidity of the world. That's me in a nutshell. I don't know how it happened. I just suddenly realized that I am the absolute loneliest man in the world.


I realized this two days ago. My wife was talking with me about meeting with the illustrator interested in creating a Captain Book children's book. I said that I was nervous about meeting him, that I would like to do this whole book deal but that I was really freaked out about the idea of sitting down with the guy. That was when Natasha hit me with a big fat dosage of fucking truth ...

-I am deeply antisocial
-I am extremely tough to get to know
-I am uncomfortable around people and crowds unless I'm acting or doing storytime or talking about Ed Wood
-I don't like talking with people I don't know
-I never go out and do things
-I have no friends
-I never want to leave the house
-The only way I am able to handle work is to create a businessman "CHARACTER" who wears suits and ties and is professional. It's all an act that I use to survive being around people.


I am an agoraphobic, antisocial shut-in with no friends and no life, a man whose only real contact with people is at work or thru facebook or his blog, a man who would much rather stay in his pajamas and shop for Godzilla toys on e-bay and watch crappy movies at home than go outside and do something. I am a sad, pathetic shell of a man. I don't know how this happened to me.


The thing that scares me about going to Spain? It's not going across the ocean to a country I've never been to where they speak a language I don't know. No. I'm freaked out with meeting new people.




Anyways, that's that. Here's an appropriately moody music for your punk ass ...


Deerhunter: Agoraphobia

Tommy Lee: Hold Me Down

American Analog Set: The Green Green Grass

Shamwow ...



Rhett and Link: The Shamwow Song

Danielle Playing In Her New Huge Backyard ...



Sunday, March 8, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week, Part 2 ...

The kids are back from church, I found an old copy of a movie I love, and now we have a surprise double feature ...




Yoinked from the wiki god


"The Three Caballeros is a 1944 animated feature film, produced by Walt Disney and distributed by RKO Radio Pictures. The seventh animated feature in the Disney animated features canon, that plots an adventure through parts of Latin America, combining live-action and animation.


Produced as part of the studio's good will message for South America, but less obviously propagandistic. The film again starred Donald Duck, who in the course of the film is joined by old friend José Carioca, the cigar-smoking parrot from Saludos Amigos (1943) representing Brazil, and later makes a new friend in the persona of pistol-packing rooster Panchito Pistoles, representing Mexico. The music of the Mexican part was written by Mexican composer Manuel Esperon, who wrote the score for over 540 Mexican movies in the Golden Age of Mexican Cinema. Walt Disney, after having seen his success in the Mexican movie industry, called him personally to ask him to participate in the movie. The main song for the Mexican part is 'Ay Jalisco, No Te Rajes!', one of Esperon's most famous songs.




In April 2007, the film became the basis for a ride at the Mexican pavilion at Walt Disney World's Epcot named Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee

Mug Root Beer

The Sight Of My Wife's Tits Spilling Out Of Her Top


I love this movie so much. I loved it ever since I was a kid. I wasn't one for the usual classic Disney films. I strayed more towards the psychedelic, trippy sort of films like Alice in Wonderland and this crazy, fucked up, drug-fueled Donald Duck super freak out that I'm currently watching with my kids.


How awesome is my family!


Three Caballeros

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from Wiki and mated with sniglets of imdb:


"Godzilla vs. Hedorah (ゴジラ対ヘドラ ,Gojira tai Hedora?), also known as Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster, is a 1971 film. The eleventh film in Toho Co. Ltd.'s Godzilla series, it was directed by Yoshimitsu Banno with special effects by Teruyoshi Nakano. The score was composed by Riichiro Manabe. Tomoyuki Tanaka, who produced the first 22 Godzilla films, was in the hospital during the time the film was made. Upon recovery and actually seeing the film, it is said that he told the director of the film that he absolutely ruined the entire Godzilla series and that he would never direct at Toho again. Despite this claim, however, Banno is slated to produce and direct the soon-to-be released film Godzilla: 3D to the Max, featuring the Hedorah-like monster Deathla.


The film was released in April 1972 by American International Pictures under the title Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster" . There were several small alterations: dialogue was dubbed to English, the song "Save the Earth" (based on a song in the original Japanese version of the film) was added. This version was rated PG by the MPAA, however a home video edition was cut to earn a G rating.


Critical reaction to the film has been mixed, with some embracing its eccentricity and others deriding it. Popcorn Pictures said, 'This is one of the worst in the series. The whole thing seems like an acid trip from start to finish. Very bad indeed, and easily one of Godzilla's worst hours.' Conversely, Toho Kingdom called the film 'one of the greats in the series,' saying that 'the plot, monster battles, effects, and overall innovation make this film a real knockout ... and the music, though wacky, is brilliant in its originality,' but added: 'Of course, the film does cater to a particular taste, and if one cannot find acceptance for a very contemporary early-70s style, then one won't enjoy this film.'


American Kaiju called the film 'a confused Godzilla non-epic that doesn't seem to be sure just who it was made for in the first place.' DVD Talk said it 'earns points for trying something new, to break away from what was fast becoming a tired formula. The film isn't as entertaining as Godzilla vs. Gigan or Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, but it is more original and daring, and ... fans will want to pick [it] up.'


Kenpachiro Satsuma, the actor who played Hedorah, was struck with appendicitis during the production. Doctors were forced to perform the appendectomy while he was still wearing the Hedorah suit, due to the length of time it took to take off. During the operation, Satsuma learned that painkillers have no effect on him.


This is one of the films included in 'The Fifty Worst Films of All Time (and how they got that way)' by Harry Medved and Randy Lowell."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee

Pills

Mug Root Beer

Coffee

Super Chocholate Fudgey Ice Cream

Coffee

Lays Brand Potato Chips

Ranch Style Dip

And Lots Of Coffee To Stay Awake During This Crapfest


Today's Church-less MOTW is one that I've been sitting on for quite some time. I bought it a few weeks ago and its taken a lot of self control for me NOT to see it. Needless to say I am extremely excited about it. The amazing resource Foster on Film has this to say about todays feature film:


"After a series of abysmal Godzilla films, it was time to do something different. But were trippy dancing, psychedelic backgrounds, and a pollution monster too different? Certainly for a serious monster film, but there hadn't been anything serious about the Godzilla franchise for years. Nor had there been much that was fun. And Godzilla Vs Hedorah does bring back the fun, just not the same kind of fun. It is background for a stoner's afternoon.


If you are properly high, you'll be able to sit back and enjoy the hallucinogenic dance, with an undulating singer clad in a tan body suit and paint, where everyone suddenly has the head of a fish. You'll be able to dig the multiple animated clips as well as Godzilla flying using his atomic breath as a rocket. And of course, you'll be able to groove with the rock-fueled and drug-fueled love-fest on top of Mt. Fuji.


Yup, this is one weird movie. It all leads up to the castration scene. Yes, Godzilla rips out Hedorah's testicles (just the way he'll rip out the testicles of anyone who pollutes...). You just don't see a lot of testicle grabbing, and then testicle igniting, in your average giant monster film."


This video says it best ...




This film has also been re-written for an incredibly awesome little parody trailer on youtube.


The Smog Monster is wreaking havoc on the planets environment and only ONE MAN can save us ...




Today's MOTW will immediately be followed by Season One of HBO's Flight of the Conchords.


Flight of the Conchords: Bret, You've Got It Goin' On




Here's what I've seen so far ...


December 7th: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla

December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra

December 21st: Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster

December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)

January 4th: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster

January 11th: Series 7 (The Contenders)

January 18th: House of Wax

January 25th: Police Story 3

February 1st: Left Behind the Movie

February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon

February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar

March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup

March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars

My Brother The Forg ...

This one is for my brother ...


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Feeling Good ...



Being manic-depressive is 50% AWESOME!


Spent the day spending time with Isabela, playing with her, watching Pokemon with her, made her food. I also cuddled with my wife, played around with her, held her, talked about our feelings and worshiped her huge honking boobs. I savored some kick ass coffee, about 3 or 4 cups worth. I took my pills. I watched Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space on the laptop while I checked out internet pr0n. I ate White Cheddar Cheez-its. I looked at the scars on my arms and my hands and my wrists and wondered why I would ever do anything so stupid.


So far today its been a pretty GODDAMN good day.






I'm gonna go to Target with my family now and buy a ton of stupid crap.


While we're gone, here's some free music for your punk ass. It's a long expired Sacramento band called The Mallrats. Their 2002 cd "Fallin' In Love All Over Again" was a work of genius but they soon broke up after its release. I think. No one seems to remember them. But I do. Their music was sort of like modern punk Buddy Holly.


Great stuff. Enjoy ...


Baby Take Me Back

All For You

Every Time You Open Your Mouth