-To conserve water, try taking baths with 30 to 50 people. The whole family, you great aunt and your grandfather, bring 'em in!
-If you have any leftovers, why throw them away when you can feel them to your pet fish! "Man, I can't eat all this steak and gravy!" Just shove it in the tank.
-NEVER DRIVE EVER! Instead, simply PUSH your car everywhere!
-This is an important one ... NEVER TAUNT AL GORE! Because he will seek VENGEANCE upon thee!
-KIDS! Be sure and recycle ALL of the beer cans you drink!
-You can reduce your carbon footprint ... by simply buying smaller shoes! And you can just tiptoe everywhere you go. There. Earth saved!
-PLANT A TREE! Because not only is it good for the environment BUT you might just luck out and get one of those GIVING TREES that you can just MOOCH on for your WHOLE LIFE!
-Why throw out old clothes ... when you can KICK them out?
-You can save energy in your house buy only watching tv when there's, like, something REALLY good on!
-We can all do our part to save the environment and keep the earth BEAUTIFUL by planting flowers and trees AND putting make up on them.
I wrote these tips a few days ago for my big "Earth Day" storytime last tuesday. I literally read each and every one of these tips to all the little kids.
They didn't really seem to think they were funny but the PARENTS were CRACKING UP!