As someone who takes great pride in seeing self-righteous, two-faced Christians taken down a peg, I really do have to say that Tea Party Jesus is freaking awesome!
Just wanted to share.
Wind Clan out.
As someone who takes great pride in seeing self-righteous, two-faced Christians taken down a peg, I really do have to say that Tea Party Jesus is freaking awesome!
Just wanted to share.
Wind Clan out.
Today I requested the day off of work so that I could spend most of my day running around town going to various medical appointments. I visited both a sinus specialist and an asthma specialist.
The asthma specialist is getting me onto a new routine and I'm hoping that this one will stick and I will actually be able to breathe without struggling. Fingers crossed on that one.
The sinus specialist examined me and sprayed my nose with nasty stuff and shoved a long, skinny telescope down my nose and into my throat. He saw my throat box and saw that it was red and inflamed. He told me I probably have a YEAST INFECTION in my THROAT and gave me pills for it. Can you believe that? A freaking yeast infection! I can't believe it!
I also scheduled surgery for my deviated septum. I go under the knife in about a month's time.
I'm a paranoid bipolar man, so obviously I'm nervous as fuck. But it's a small "procedure" that should go off without a hitch.
Wish me luck.
So apparently we are going to "the lake" today, "the lake" to be said AND READ in quotation marks because I am still unsure as to what a day at "the lake" entails.
See, I spent a semi-sheltered and fairly lonely childhood. I was never really allowed to spend a day at "the river" or "the lake" because my parents feared that I would pretty much INSTANTLY drown the moment my ties touched the water. So I don't fully understand the concept of "the lake" as a full day destination. This new world scares and confuses me.
I also do not understand A) why I have to go outside, which is WA-A-A-AY too overrated, when I can just stay indoors and watch bad movies all day. I also don't understand why B) we have to wake up so early. Apparently "the lake" has the same hours as a Ross dress for less during a President's Day sale ...
This is a strange and frightening new world I am entering today.
Wish me luck.
Yoinked from wikipedia, 1000misspenthours.com and my own bad movie knowledge ...
"Teenagers from Outer Space is a 1959 science-fiction B-movie about an extraterrestrial space ship landing on Earth to use it as a farm for its food supply. The crew of the ship includes teenagers, two of whom oppose each other in their activities. The independent film was originally distributed by Warner Brothers. It was used in the fourth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
In addition to directing the film, Tom Graeff (1929-1970) played the role of reporter Joe Rogers as well as wrote, edited, and produced the film. He also provided cinematography, special effects, and music coordination. Graeff obviously had vision. It was too bad that he lacked the money to realize his almost mad scope.
According to Bryan Pearson, the crew employed many guerrilla tactics in order to cut costs. Director Tom Graeff secured the location for Betty Morgan's house for free by posing as a UCLA student (while Graeff had attended the school, he had graduated 5 years earlier). The older woman who owned the house even let the crew use her electricity to power equipment. Graeff shot in many nearby locations — mostly in the vicinity of Sunset Boulevard and Highland Avenue — to double as more important city landmarks. Graeff's steady hand and framing kept most of the real locations under-wraps, creating a great low-budget illusion of a small town.
Other cost-cutting ideas didn't pay off as well: the space costumes were simple flight suits clearly decorated with masking tape, dress shoes covered in socks, and surplus Air Force helmets. The use of stock footage in lieu of special effects and Spielbergian 'looking' shots replacing actual visuals of the invading enemy spaceships seriously undercut the urgency of the ending. Props included a single bolted-joint skeleton re-used for every dead body, and the infamous dime-store Hubley's 'Atomic Disintegrator' as the aliens' focusing disintegrator ray.
In an unusual practice of the era, Graeff also pre-recorded some of the film's dialogue for several scenes, and had the actors learn to synchronize their actions with the sound. The score of the film came from stock, composed by William Loose and Fred Steiner. Incidentally the same stock score has been recycled in countless B-movies, such as Red Zone Cuba, The Killer Shrews, and most notably Night of the Living Dead.
Much of the charm of Teenagers from Outer Space stems from the imbalance between Graeff’s grand ambitions and the paltry resources he was able to bring to bear in furtherance of them. Though the title implies nothing more than a quicky attempt to cash in on two waning genres while there were still a few dollars remaining to be squeezed out of them (and incidentally, it amazes me that nobody thought to combine alien invasions and juvenile delinquents in quite this way until 1959), Graeff tried instead for something nearly epic. And yet all he was able to bring to the table with which to do it were twenty-some obvious non-actors, one scrap-metal flying saucer, a skeleton on loan from somebody’s high school science lab, a toy raygun, and a three-pound lobster to stand in for the space monster! Only Robot Monster features anything comparable in terms visionary overreach.
The film failed to perform at the box office, placing further stress on an already-burdened Graeff, and in the fall of 1959, he suffered a breakdown, proclaimed himself the second coming of Christ. After a number of public appearances followed by a subsequent arrest for disrupting a church service, Graeff disappeared from Hollywood until 1964 and later committed suicide in 1970.
If you haven’t seen this one yet, then you’re missing out on a true (cheesy) B movie endeavor at it’s finest. Available in about three or four different DVD packs and all over the internet (it is in the public domain) I highly recommend you watch this with a bunch of friends on a Saturday night. Not too late though, because this is a pretty long movie with way too much dialogue.
But, as labors of love so often do, Teenagers from Outer Space just went so comprehensively wrong that it is all but guaranteed to inspire dedicated fans of the very worst in 50’s sci-fi to a nearly religious sort of awe."
Steve's Snacks of The Week:
Peanut Butter (Straight Up)
My Wife's Big Titties
... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE, both the original AND the Mystery Science Theater version! Yeah. I know I'm your hero.
Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater. All talkers will be gently raped. And absolutely no cell phones or African-American berries allowed within the theater.
And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).
ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!
And here are the Sunday movies I've seen so far ...
December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods (free-ISH to watch)
I think that it's an amazing splitting image of me. I'm impressed with it. I really am.
To tell you the truth, I'm in fucking LOVE with it!
My wife is gone for this whole week. She's supposed to come home tomorrow. I hope she really does. not to say my life sucks without her. It's a lot better now that i have my SECOND wife here with me.
Lisa. That's her name. She's a long time family friend and the mother of Deinna, my sometimes semi-child. She also has three other kids, two of which live with me now, along with Lisa. It can be super mad crazy in my house sometimes because at times there are up to six loud, angry, yelling, screaming, fighting kids storming around my house. It's like work is sometimes more peaceful than home. That's so sad to say.
But Lisa makes up for the madness by being my substitute wife, my "OTHER" wife. And she does a lot of the things that Natasha doesn't. she cooks and cleans and takes care of all the kids. And she's a friend to me. Natasha's a friend to me, too, but she's a friend who get annoyed at me and hits me and occasionally lets me fuck her silly.
I have two wives. It's good because it makes me go less crazy when Tasha leaves.
Plus with the two wives deal I'm halfway on my way to being Mormon!
Too bad I'm not a fucking idiot.
Remember my last post?
Well, I actually succeeded in having a 6 and 1/2 hour long panic attack.
And once I managed to calm my brown ass down, it was time to go home to my house which at the present moment is filled with six screaming little devil children.
There's no reason for my prolonged panic attack, really. I guess I have a pretty good life with my wife and my kids and my house ...
But I've just had this deep feeling of dread all day. I'm nervous, scared, frightened, and lonely. I mean, my wife says that a lot of these feelings are from this weekend. Fathers Day was quiet and low key and nice... but I guess it wasn't as wonderful as I secretly hoped it would be. It's like I said before. Mother's Day is a daughter's dream but Father's Day is a daughter's afterthought, you know? Plus we're broke, so I guess I'm just feeling a bit alone right now.
What's wrong with me? How can I feel alone with THIS in my house...
This is me.
This is my madness.
I'm going back to work this morning after two consecutive days off. Now I work at 7am all the rest of the week. It's going to be fairly grueling, I believe. I'm even missing my usual therapy as a result.
That plus my wife leaving for "work" today means that although I may seem calm on the outside, I am dying and freaked the fuck out on the inside.
Wish me luck.
My family is broke as hell. What I really wanted yesterday was some KFC and a trip to the drive-in, but because of our money situation they couldn't really get me anything for Father's Day.
But they got me breakfast in bed, three different ties, and the BEST and cheapest gift that my family could have ever given me ...
... I was allowed to sit my brown ass on the couch and watch whatever I wanted to all DAY and they watched it with me.
Not only did I get my quadruple feature but I watched an awesome episode of South Park, an episode of Stella, the absolute best episode of Ren and Stimpy, and my usual sunday night cartoons.
I get jealous because Mother's Day is the greatest day ever but Father's Day is an afterthought. But it was a pretty darn good day yesterday.
Yoinked from the wiki ...
"Into the Woods is a musical with music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and book by James Lapine. It debuted in San Diego at the Old Globe Theatre in 1986, and premiered on Broadway in 1987. Bernadette Peters' performance as the Witch, and Joanna Gleason's portrayal of the Baker's Wife, brought acclaim to the production during its original Broadway run. Into the Woods won several Tony Awards, including Best Score, Best Book, and Best Actress in a Musical (Joanna Gleason), in a year dominated by The Phantom of the Opera. The musical has been produced many times, with a 1988 national tour, a 1990 West End production, a 1991 television production, a 1997 tenth anniversary concert, a 2002 Los Angeles production and a 2002 Broadway revival. It was later loosely adapted into the hip-hop dance musical, Into the Hoods.
Inspired by Bruno Bettelheim's 1976 book, The Uses of Enchantment, the musical intertwines the plots of several Brothers Grimm fairy tales and follows them further to explore the consequences of the characters' wishes and quests. The main characters are taken from the stories of Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, and Cinderella, tied together by a more original story involving a baker and his wife and their quest to begin a family, most likely taken from the original story of Rapunzel by the Brothers Grimm. It also includes references to several other well-known tales.
Into the Woods opened on Broadway at the Martin Beck Theatre on November 5, 1987, and closed on September 3, 1989 after 764 performances. It starred Bernadette Peters, Joanna Gleason, Chip Zien, Kim Crosby, Ben Wright, Danielle Ferland, Chuck Wagner, Merle Louise, Tom Aldredge, and Robert Westenberg. The musical was directed by James Lapine, with musical staging by Lar Lubovitch, settings were by Tony Straiges, lighting by Richard Nelson, and costumes by Ann Hould-Ward (based on original concepts by Patricia Zipprodt and Ann Hould-Ward). The original production won the 1988 New York Drama Critics' Circle Award and the Drama Desk Award for Best Musical, and the original cast recording won a Grammy Award. Joanna Gleason won the Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical, and James Lapine (book) and Stephen Sondheim (original score) also won the Tony Award.
Into the Woods, with the original Broadway cast, was taped in May 1989 and was aired on U.S. public television on March 20, 1991. This version has since been released on DVD."
Now, I will be watching the 1989 version that aired on PBS. I will be watching it on the NETFLIX on demand service. If you have Netflix, go and watch it. It's pretty damn amazing.
I was unable to find it for free on the internet, however, and for that I apologize.
But I DID find a non-professional version of the Broadway revival. It's a bit choppy and hard to hear, but pretty good.
Really, though, everyone should have Netflix.
And get yourself freaking Netflix.
You'll thank me later.
Yoinked from wikipedia ...
"Mortal Kombat is a 1995 action and adventure film directed by Paul W. S. Anderson. Based on the Mortal Kombat series of fighting games, the film was the first part of the Mortal Kombat film series.
The film follows the warrior Liu Kang (Robin Shou), actor Johnny Cage (Linden Ashby), and agent Sonya Blade (Bridgette Wilson), guided by the Thunder God Raiden (Christopher Lambert), on their journey to combat the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) and his forces on a tournament to save Earth. The main inspiration for the film was the first title of the video-game series, but also featured elements and characters from the game Mortal Kombat II. Mortal Kombat was filmed primarily in Los Angeles, as well as on location in Thailand.
The film was released on August 18, 1995 in the United States, on October 20, 1995 in the United Kingdom and on December 26, 1995 in Australia. It proved very popular with fans of the games and received average to good reviews upon its release. The film cruised into the top box office spot earning $122,195,920 worldwide. To this day, it's still considered one of the best video-game to movie adaptations and later spawned a sequel, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, released in 1997, and a TV series, Mortal Kombat: Conquest, released in 1998. The short film Mortal Kombat: Rebirth was released in June 2010.
In 1995, several months before the movie's release, Threshold Entertainment released a tie-in animated film on VHS and Laserdisc called Mortal Kombat: The Journey Begins. It featured traditional animation, motion capture and CGI to explain the origins behind some of the movie's main characters. The video also featured a 15-minute behind-the scenes documentary of the theatrical release.
Mortal Kombat opened on August 18, 1995, and cruised into the top box-office spot with $23.2 million, nearly eight times the opening amount of the only other new release that weekend, The Baby-Sitters Club. At the time, it was also the second-highest August opening after 1993's The Fugitive. MK enjoyed a three-week stay at number one, grossed roughly $70,454,098 in the U.S., and earned an estimated $122,195,920 worldwide, while the soundtrack went platinum in less than two weeks.
It is still in debate whether Warner Brothers will produce the remake of the film and all projects are currently stalled, but the storybook will be written by Oren Uziel. Anderson had also talked about making the reboot Mortal Kombat film. Before anything can be considered, though, the studio is going to have to fight off a legal challenge from previous owners, Threshold Entertainment. The Wrap reported that the production company has filed a class-action lawsuit against Warner Brothers, claiming the studio has frozen them out of developing the video game adaption."
So here it is, part three of my whatever crap I want to watch Father's Day movie marathon!
Have fun and remember who loves you!
Will I make it to part four?
Stick around to find out ...
Yoinked from wikipedia and badmovies.org and with my own bad movie knowledge mixed in ...
"Laserblast is a low-budget 1978 science fiction film directed by Michael Rae. It stars Kim Milford as Billy Duncan and Cheryl Smith as Kathy Farley. This film is notable for featuring nerdy character actor Eddie Deezen's debut (as Froggy) and for an appearance by Roddy McDowall as Doctor Mellon. The plot involves a constantly put-upon young man's discovery of a laser cannon and his ensuing rampage after continual exposure to the weapon's radiation.
This film marks the only movie that Michael Rae ever directed. Thank god!
I've come to the realization that law enforcement is universally incompetent, as in police all over the universe. As the credits finish we see a sick man stumbling across the desert, carrying the Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction and pendant. Judging from the skin color and hygiene, he looks like some species of living dead. Within moments a spaceship passes over, then lands and a pair of armed (as in carrying weapons) stop motion aliens exit the craft. Despite his impressive blaster the zombie/vampire/mutant fellow is no match for the aliens, he becomes a man-shaped scorch mark on the ground. The aliens hear a small aircraft approaching, so they board their spaceship and depart. In the rush something is forgotten; the pendant and cannon are still lying on the sand.
Everything that transpired over the last few minutes should get your mind working on some questions. Under what circumstances did this weapon come to Earth in the first place? What are the aliens saying? How in the world did the aliens forget to grab or destroy the cannon and pendant? You are never going to find out, though some inventive guessing can help relieve the frustration.
Hear's some random DO YOU CARE facts for you: Actor Roddy McDowall's name is misspelled in the ending credits as 'Roddy McDowell.' Alien conversation from the movie is used in the opening of 'A Dios Alma Perdida' by Static-X. Billy Duncan, armed with the laser cannon, blows up a Star Wars billboard late in the film. The 'East Coast, Southern California' town depicted in the final scene is actually a left over 1920's Chicago set. Note the 'S.M.C. Cartage Co.' building in the background after Billy gets vapour actioned to death. The infamous St. Valentine's Day Massacre took place in the S.M.C. Cartage Company garage, Chicago. The design for the Alien creatures was based on drawings of prehistoric turtles that Dave Allen had seen as a boy in the Field Museum. The Alien language was created by a playing a recording of a presidential speech backwards and twice the normal speed.
The aliens are exceptionally neat and definitely make the movie, even their strange squawking speech is well done. Other than the stop motion I am at a loss for words, because the plot is simple. 'Kid with a (valid) persecution complex finds a Nerf Gun of Ultimate Destruction and blows things up.' That's the plot, everything else is padding and it feels like padding.
In May 1996, it was featured in episode 6 of the 7th season of the movie-mocking television series Mystery Science Theater 3000. Laserblast was featured on the final episode of the series to be made for the Comedy Central Network. The episode made particular note of film-critic Leonard Maltin's relatively high two and-a-half star rating of the original film, ranking it higher than acclaimed films such as Taxi Driver, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, or Being There, and as good as celebrated films such as The Great Santini, Unforgiven, or Sophie's Choice. Maltin's questionable criticism would later be revisited when the MST3K crew reviewed the film Gorgo, where Maltin made a cameo.
Mike Nelson had THIS to say about this particular episode of Laserblast: 'Very funny movie. There were a lot of highlight moments, it seems to me; I used to love it when we were presented something like the deputy who (in our minds) resembled Hank Williams Jr. That gave us the ideal chance to beat the 'ready for some football' line into the ground. If you did it right, that sort of thing wasn't boring; it could become more funny as it went along. Did we do it right here? I'll leave that to the judgment of history. One of my favorites, over a shot of the deputy looking disgusted: 'Well, just another example of a citizen who isn't READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!'
The film has gained a small cult following from fans of the B science fiction genre. Laserblast has been released on DVD from Full Moon Entertainment."
...and here you are, part two of our special Father's Day movie marathon.
Have fun and Wind Clan out!
Probably hit part 3 laters, so stick around.