NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and scifiblock.com ...


"The Mole People is a 1956 Universal Studios science fiction film directed by Virgil W. Vogel. The lot concerns a party of archaeologists discovers the remnants of a mutant 5000 year old Sumerian civilization living beneath a glacier atop a mountain in Mesopatamia. This film was parodied on the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000.


As bad as this movie is, classic sci-fi film buffs like me will find plenty to enjoy during the non-climb-up-a-mountain, non-descend-down-a-hole scenes. It’s one of those ridiculous pieces of art that you can’t bring yourself to hate because doing so would be like critiquing a preschooler’s crayon drawing. Aesthetically, no part of The Mole People works. Practically speaking, though, that is precisely what makes it watchable.




So many incidents that take place in this movie do not make sense. When the archeologists unearth a slab inscribed with cuneiform writing, one of them asks Dr. Bentley to translate it, at which point Bentley begins an arbitrary pondering that is meant to sound deep: 'Every time I think of how many civilizations have crumbled, fallen apart, rotted from the inside, or cracked from the outside. I shudder when I pick of the front page of the newspaper.' Yeah, that’s deep and all, Bentley, but why did you say that? Ironically, writer László Görög highlights out the random nature of this statement with the character who asked for the translation, who responds, 'Translation, Bentley.'


Soon after the main characters find themselves in this subterranean world, they are captured by the Mole People, who crawl up from the ground, grab them, and pull them beneath the ground to a sub-subterranean area. But, then the creatures are nowhere to be found, and the Sumerians happen to walk and in find them. So, if the Mole People were just going to run off immediately, why did they 'capture' them? The final scene is even more bizarre.




A clip from this movie was used in the 1968 film The Wild World of Batwoman, as creatures created by one of the movie's villains. This use was itself parodied on Mystery Science Theater 3000, with Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo mocking the classic slogan for Reese's Peanut Butter cups followed by Mike Nelson imitating the film's villain, proclaiming 'That's enough of THAT film.' The book More Information Than You Require by John Hodgman, a satirical almanac, deals extensively with mole-men. The film score for The Mole People was just re-recorded for the Monstrous Movie Music label."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Cereal

Small Lunch Bags Of Chips

Old Pizza

Internet Porn




... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! But lets go over a few rules first. There's no talking in Steve's Theater during our feature presentation and talkers WILL be raped ... although RAPE IS NOT A JOKE! Also, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. No open flames. Dispose of all trash in its proper receptacle. And NO TEXTING! I am so serious about that one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The use of stock footage is so bad in this film it makes eD wOOD look like Michael Bay.

Anonymous said...

Nice site Steve...I plan on visiting again...once I get a google account...I love THE MOLE PEOPLE for the same reasons as you..its so childish it would be cruel to say anything mean about it...also,any movie where the hero's weapon of choice is a flashlight has my vote as a classic...keep up the good work.