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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from 1000misspenthours.com, wikipedia and our awesome freaking homeboys over at Monster Movie Music ...


"The Incredible Petrified World is a 1958 science fiction movie directed by Jerry Warren and starring John Carradine. It was only theatrically released on April 16, 1960 on a double bill with another Jerry Warren crappy cult classic film called Teenage Zombies.


Jerry Warren is best known for importing low-budget, foreign-made horror and science fiction movies, chopping them to pieces, and then editing them together with scraps of new footage he shot himself to create incomprehensible travesties like Terror in the Midnight Sun and Attack of the Mayan Mummy. Among his earliest efforts was The Incredible Petrified World, an ostensible adventure story in what I imagine Warren intended to be the Jules Verne mode, which features nothing petrified save the movie itself, and which is incredible only in the sense that it defies belief that even the most gullible of investors could have been convinced to bankroll its production.




Stock footage intros are always a bad sign, and The Incredible Petrified World gives us one that is both unusually long and unusually divorced from the supposed point of the film. While jacks swarm and groupers blub and a shark battles an octopus to the death in a clip that was used to equally little purpose in The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, a voice over blathers on and on about the sea, saying nothing that bears even the most tenuous connection to what’s on the way during the ensuing hour. I guess the idea is to set the stage by providing a peek into the sort of curiosities that motivate our explorer heroes, but really, Jerry’s just wasting our time.


How bad is this film? Basically, this Jerry Warren catastrophe is so bad that it caused Columbia Picture to cancel Phyllis Coates contract! Phyllis was Jerry ex-girlfriend and he talk her into doing this movie as favor. But when some Columbia executive saw it, she gets fired! Wow, thanks a lot, Jerry!"




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Cereal

Fluffernutters

Vanilla Ice Cream





... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE! But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed in Galindo Theaters. Any and all talkers will be molested with extreme prejudice. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!


And be sure to dim headlights (where applicable).


Oh, and remember ...




Now just kick back, relax, and...


Enjoy the show y'all!


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