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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

School Forgotten ...

These are my 2.5 daughters, taken a few hours ago. I have some amazing kids.




But this isn't about my amazing kids...


My wife and my fake "other wife" are both going back to school. College. My wife is bicycling there four times a week and studying to become a psychologist. It's going to take her a long time, YEARS to be precise, and I have been taking more care of the kids while I've been home because she has been pretty much gone most of the time.


I'm jealous.


Suddenly my wife isn't paying any attention to be. Suddenly I find myself acting the way I used to act around my older brother-I'm getting all hyper and loud and geeky and nerdy trying to get her attention. Like a fool.


So now that I'm aware that I'm acting like that, suddenly now I'm trying not to care around my wife just so that I don't geek out like a Star Wars fan at Skywalker Ranch every goddamn time I talk to my wife. But how screwed up is that? I'm trying to not care AROUND MY WIFE?


It all boils down to attention. I'm not the center of attention. I'm getting brushed aside. And I should be okay with that, but instead I'm feeling unwanted, unloved, and severely unimportant.


I'm jealous of a college.


I'm such a dork.

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