I'm at work super early today. See, I don't work until ten today but my wife needed to go to school and since we only have one car and no in-laws next door I had to get dropped off an hour and a half early.
I don't mind, I told her. that gives me some ME time and I welcome that, even if its at work. And so here I am at work with my laptop. I'm drinking coffee, eating gummy bears, and re-re-re-watching one of my favorite bad movies, 1957's The Giant Claw...
... and I'm feeling very vulnerable here, not just because of the insensitive grief I've been suffering through here at work, although I assume that's a pretty good part of it. Yesterday I confronted the mysterious powers that be about my feelings. I don't think I won the battle, which was fierce, but I didn't lose either. They know how hurt I am and I know how upset they are. It's a standstill, I guess, but for me it's a silent win.
No, I'm feeling vulnerable right now because I'm watching a bad movie at work (!!!) and that's something that I usually do alone. At home. In pajamas. Wearing a wife beater. And eating a shitload of junk food. And there's kids running around screaming while I ingest numerous pills. That's my Galindo Theater and I'm used to it. It comforts me.
But being here at work and in my suit, it all makes me feel so vulnerable.