NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Music For My Mood ...



I'm having problems.


When you look at me you see my smiling and joking and having fun. But it's all a front. I'm actually having serious emotional problems.


I feel like no one likes me. I feel like everyone hates me and everyone is talking behind my back. I feel like everyone at work hates my guts. I feel like my kids don't like me and my wife can't stand me and my parents ignore me and I don't have any friends.


I feel deeply alone.


I've been cutting myself again.


I hate myself. And I am ashamed that I'm cutting myself again.




Here's some music to go with my post ...


Primus: Over The Falls

John Prine: Day Is Done

Eric Burdon and the Animals: When I Was Young

Weezer: I Want To Be Something

The White Stripes: A Martyr For My Love For You

Stan Fong: Stompin' At 3am

Gonzo: I'm Going to Go Back There Someday

Home Movies: Sunset Theme

Fiona Apple: Sally's Song

Foxboro Hot Tubs: Dark Side Of Night

The Get Up Kids: Overdue

The Beatles: Nowhere Man

The Sprites: I Started A Blog That Nobody Read

The White Stripes: In The Cold Cold Night

Monday, December 27, 2010

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week: Special Day Of Movies, Part 2 ...

So today my kids and I have watched the atmospheric but laughable Man from Planet X, then the kids and I re-watched the amazing Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein. Now comes another B-movie classic.


Enjoy ...




Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia ...


"The Little Shop of Horrors is a 1960 American comedy film directed by Roger Corman. Written by Charles B. Griffith, the film is a farce about an inadequate young florist's assistant who cultivates a plant that feeds on human flesh and blood. The film's concept is thought to be based on a 1932 story called Green Thoughts by John Collier, about a man-eating plant.


The film stars Jonathan Haze, Jackie Joseph, Mel Welles and Dick Miller, all of whom had worked for Corman on previous films. Produced under the title The Passionate People Eater, the film employs an original style of humor, combining black comedy with farce and incorporating Jewish humor and elements of spoof. The Little Shop of Horrors was shot in two days utilizing sets that had been left standing from a previous production on a budget of $30,000.




The film slowly gained a cult following through word of mouth when it was distributed as the b movie in a double feature with Mario Bava's Black Sunday and eventually with The Last Woman on Earth. The film's popularity increased with local television broadcasts, in addition to the presence of a young Jack Nicholson, whose small role in the film has been prominently promoted on home video releases of the film.


The movie was eventually the basis for an off-Broadway musical, Little Shop of Horrors, which was made into a 1986 feature film and enjoyed a successful Broadway revival, all of which have attracted attention back to the original 1960 film.


But Steve likes A Bucket of Blood A WHOOOOOLE LOT BETTER!




The film was partially cast with stock actors that Corman had used in previous films. Writer Charles B. Griffith portrays several small roles. Griffith's father appeared as a dental patient, and his grandmother, Myrtle Vail appeared as Seymour's hypochondriac mother. Dick Miller, who had starred as the protagonist of A Bucket of Blood was offered the role of Seymour, but turned it down, instead taking the smaller role of Burson Fouch. The cast rehearsed for three weeks before filming began. Principal photography of The Little Shop of Horrors was shot in two days and one night.


It had been rumored that the film's shooting schedule was based on a bet that Corman could not complete a film within that time. However, this claim has been denied. According to Joseph, Corman shot the film quickly in order to beat changing industry rules that would have prevented producers from buying out an actor's performance in perpetuity. On January 1, 1960, new rules were to go into effect requiring producers to pay all actors residuals for all future releases of their work. This meant that Corman's B-movie business model would be permanently changed and he would not be able to produce low-budget movies in the same way. Before these rules went into effect, Corman decided to shoot one last film and scheduled it to happen the last week in December 1959.




Corman had initial trouble finding distribution for the film, as some distributors, including American International Pictures, felt that the film would be interpreted as anti-Semitic, citing the characters of Gravis Mushnick and Siddie Shiva. Welles, who is Jewish, stated that he gave his character a Turkish Jewish accent and mannerisms, and that he saw the humor of the film as playful, and felt there was no intent to defame any ethnic group. The film was finally released by Corman's own production company, The Filmgroup Inc., one year after it had been completed.


The film was screened out of competition at the 1960 Cannes Film Festival. However, because Corman did not believe that The Little Shop of Horrors had much financial prospect after its initial theatrical run, he did not bother to copyright it, resulting in the film falling into the public domain. Because of this, the film is widely available in copies of varying quality.


Jack Nicholson, recounting the reaction to a screening of the film, states that the audience 'laughed so hard I could barely hear the dialogue. I didn't quite register it right. It was as if I had forgotten it was a comedy since the shoot. I got all embarrassed because I'd never really had such a positive response before.' The film's popularity slowly grew with local television broadcasts throughout the 1960s and 1970s."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Red Apples

Popcorn

Mini Marshmallows

My Wife's Boobs




... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and talkers WILL be raped ... although RAPE IS NOT A JOKE!


Anyways, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. No open flames. Dispose of all trash in its proper receptacle. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I am so serious about that last one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!



Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week: Special Day Of Movies, Part 1 ...

Today's film is available to watch via Netflix on Demand.


Enjoy ...




Yoinked from wikipedia and 1000misspenthours.com ...


"The Man From Planet X is an independently produced, United Artists distributed 1951 science fiction film starring Robert Clarke and Margaret Field. It was directed by Edgar G. Ulmer who had directed the very first Bela Lugosi/Boris Karloff team up picture The Black Cat in 1934.




The film's plot concerns an alien visitor who arrives unexpectedly at an observatory on the moors of Scotland. An ostensibly friendly alien acts as an advance scout to lead his civilization from its dying planet, to Earth. His advanced civilization was able to alter its planet's course to intersect with the Earth, 'through scientific degravitation' yet for some reason, was unable to keep it from freezing in its original orbit.


All things considered, The Man from Planet X is an unexpectedly good film. For one thing, this appears to be the very first of the 'Real Estate Agents from a Dying Planet' sort of movies, and I always think a bit of extra respect is due to any movie that establishes its own sub genre. Secondly, there’s an unusual amount of intelligence on display here for a film on which absolutely no money was spent whatsoever.


The ending to the film is apparently supposed to be all serious and climactic and stuff. But it de-evolves into another episode of BAD ACCENT THEATER where a bunch of nobody theater people talk in what they believe to be a believable foreign accent. Laughable stuff.




The film went into production on December 13th 1950 at Hal Roach Studios in Culver City, California and wrapped principal photography six days later. To save money, the film was shot on same sets as the 1948 Ingrid Bergman film Joan of Arc, using fog to try to change moods and locations. It doesn't do a good enough job.


Invaders from Mars, The War of the Worlds, both 1953, and The Thing from Another World from 1951, all began production around the same time this film was made. The Day the Earth Stood Still is a close parallel and inevitable inspiration, finishing production six months before this one, in the summer of 1951. The alien can only communicate using modulated musical sounds, a concept used three decades later in the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Coffee

Gummy Bears

Super Buttery Popcorn

More Coffee

The Japanese Book BATTLE ROYALE




Again, today's film is available for you to watch right now via Netflix On Demand. And if you do not have it, then what the hell, because it is just totally freaking awesome.


Enjoy the show, y'all!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Galindo Christmas 2010 ...

This was a very different sort of Christmas for my family this year.


For starters, we spent this Christmas with my "other wife" Lisa and her kids. They are loud, crazy, angry, and they can be a handful. They can be two handfuls. They can be a plethora of big, fat, annoying handfuls. But they're kinda sorta family now.


So there was that.


This was also our first Christmas together without my wife's family living next door or even in this part of the country. They ran off to Oklahoma because God told them to, so now we're here alone. Sigh.


So we ended up spending about four of five hours with them via webcam, although my wife says it was actually a much shorter time. But I think she's wrong. And for whatever reason the whole webcam thing just annoyed the living crap out of me! I didn't mean to be hating on my in-laws, but we had to suffer through bad reception and piss poor sound and having to yell and repeat everything we said and talking to a tiny camera and all this crap ... and I just couldn't stop thinking that if they wanted to spend time with us for Christmas then they shouldn't have moved their asses to the middle of nowhere.


My wife says I'm just hurt. And I think she's probably right.


Here are the pics ...



















The official unveiling of the ultra rare, hand painted, one-of-a-kind Steve and Natasha action figures ...









Hope everybody had a good holidays.


I worked today, the day after Christmas, at 5am! Five freaking AM!


So to make up for that, tomorrow the 27th I'm doing nothing but eating junk food and watching bad movies. I'll try and post one or two here on my blog as well.


I can't wait!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Horror Movies ...



I used to never watch horror films!


See, I used to be so very easily frightened when I was a kid. I was a serious crybaby and anything even the slightest bit spooky (classic universal monster movies excluded) would make me just frightened off my ass. I would to cower at the sight of ANY horror movie and that was IF you could ever GET me to watch one!


Maybe it stems from an incident from my childhood. When I was six or seven I woke up bright and early because we were going to go see Bambi at the dollar theater at Valley West Mall. But when we got there they were all sold out, so we went to go see Poltergeist instead. I still haven't watched that film again since that very day.




I was so sensitive growing up that after I would watch a horror film I would cry, I wouldn't be able to sleep for days and weeks, I would have nightmares up the ass and I would totally lose my shit constantly!


And yet I somehow grew up loving b-movies and monster movies and bad, misunderstood cult movies while at the same time avoiding all frightening movies. It's been a fine line I've traversed these past few decades but I've managed to somehow survive.


But ever since I was in my OWN sort of horror movie a year ago ...




... my definition of what is scary has drastically changed. Now the idea of some fake spooky horror film where naked stupid teens get stabbed by heartless monsters is just fucking stupid next to the hell that I survived thru.


So I've been spending the past few months doing some much needed catching up. I've watched all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and I'm working on Friday the 13th. I actually laughed at Cannibal Holocaust. I always thought I would vonit or freak out or cry. But I just fucking laughed. It was amazing.


And this morning, I finally re-watched another SCARRED FOR LIFE childhood horror film, Creepshow. Great flick.




So here's a (semi) horror film for you to watch absolutely free. It's not part of my weekly Church-less Movie Of The Week. It's just a free movie because I'm so awesome.


It's Battle Royale and it's awesome. I couldn't have watched this film ten years ago.

Thanks, robbery!


Enjoy ...



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Emerald's 9th Birthday Dinner ...

For her special birthday dinner we dropped an obscene amount of moolah at Buca Di Beppo.


Here are the pics ...




I worshiped at the shrine to Sinatra ...




The pope room ...








Good times.


Now onwards to Christmas!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Steve's Big Ass Christmas Music Playlist ...

Here it is, a massive list of totally free and completely Steve-approved Christmas music for you to rock your punk ass out to this holiday season. Enjoy!


I'm going to start out with my absolute favorite Christmas song of all time ...




Trey Parker and Matt Stone: Dead, Dead, Dead

The Format: Holly Jolly Christmas

Mystery Science Theater 3,000: Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas

Run DMC: Christmas In Hollis

Contents Under Pressure: Christmas In Hollis (Sacramento Version)

Blazer Force: Electronic Santa




Weezer: O Come All Ye Faithful

Voicedude: F#@% You, Santa!

Death Cab For Cutue: Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

Dj BC: 8-bit Hip Hop Christmas

Vince Guaraldi: Christmas Time Is Here (Vocal Version)

The Helper Monkeys: Another Christmas In Sacramento




A Year Without A Santa Claus: Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

Blackalicious: Toy Jackpot

Dj BC: Imagine Santa

Five Iron Frenzy: You Gotta Get Up

Smash-Up Derby: Seven Nation Santa

Dean Martin: I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm




The Ramones: Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)

Jack Johnson: Someday At Christmas

Honeyspot: California Christmas

Mojochronic: Rupolph (You Don't Have To Put On The Red Light)

Boney M: Mary's Boy Child

Dj BC: Sugar Plum Fairy Coda (Remix)




Pipe Down: Carol of the Bells

Elvis Presley: Blue Christmas

Mojochronic: Whoville (Won't Get Yuled Again)

The White Stripes: Candy Cane Children

Mogwai: Christmas Song

Eels: Christmas Is Going To The Dogs




Merry freaking Christmas, everybody!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and badmovies.org ...


"The Tingler is a 1959 horror-thriller film by the American producer and director William Castle. It is the third of five collaborations with writer Robb White and stars Vincent Price, Darryl Hickman, Patricia Cutts, Pamela Lincoln, Philip Coolidge and a whole bunch of other people no one had ever heard of (except Vincent).


The Tingler was Vincent Price's second and last outing with William Castle and the fifth performance that would ultimately brand him as The Master of Menace.




Films based on crazy scientific premises (not that I critique any of those) are usually something I find easy to poke fun at. However, after watching this one for only a few minutes I had already suspended belief, entirely willing to go with the idea of a parasite living along my spine; a creature capable of killing me unless those very tensions we experience, in moments of terror, are screamed away.


The financial success of House on Haunted Hill was reason enough for Columbia to produce The Tingler. Vincent Price was on board again, this time with Darryl Hickman playing his assistant and newcomer Pamela Lincoln playing his sister-in-law. Patricia Cutts played Price's beautiful but unfaithful wife, Isabel.




Director William Castle was never one to miss an opportunity for publicity. He convinced Pamela Lincoln's real life fiancé Darryl Hickman to join the cast as her fiancé in the film. At first Darryl declined but finally agreed after William Castle convinced him it would help Pamela's career. According to Darryl, William Castle did such a good job of convincing him it would help Pamela that he did the part for no salary.


Robb White, story author, had experimented with LSD at UCLA after hearing about it from Aldous Huxley and decided to work it into the script as well. It is the first depiction of LSD use in a major motion picture. At the time the drug was still legal. The title of the book Vincent Price reads before taking LSD, 'Fright Effects Induced By Injection Of Lysergic Acid LSD25,' is printed on the back cover of the book, not the front. This appears to have been done intentionally for a better shot for the expositional title of the book explaining the effects of LSD to the audience.




'Percepto!' was a gimmick where William Castle attached electrical buzzers to the underside of several seats in movie theaters where The Tingler was scheduled to be screened. The buzzers were small surplus vibrators left over from World War II. The cost of this equipment added $250,000 to the film's budget. It was predominantly used in the larger theaters.


During the climax of the film, The Tingler was depicted escaping into a generic movie theater. On screen the projected film appeared to break as the silhouette of the tingler moved across the projection beam. The film went black, all lights in the auditorium (except fire exit signs) were turned off, and Vincent Price's voice warned the audience 'The Tingler is loose in THIS theater! Scream! Scream for your lives!' This cued the theatre projectionist to activate the buzzers and give several audience members an unexpected jolt.




Although The Tingler was filmed in black and white, a single b&w/color sequence was spliced into each print of the film. It showed a sink (in black and white) with bright red "blood flowing from the taps and a black and white Judith Evelyn watching a bloody red hand rising from a bathtub filled with bright red blood. Castle used color film to film the effect. The scene was accomplished by painting the set white, black, and gray and applying gray makeup to the actress to simulate monochrome.


To enhance the climax even more William Castle stationed fake 'nurses' in the foyer, an ambulance outside of the theatre and fake 'screamers and fainters' planted in the audience. The fainters would be carried out of the auditorium on a gurney and whisked away in the ambulance only to return for the next showing.


The film keeps you guessing at a few points. And hats off for not spelling everything out letter by letter. Time Out London said it best in their review: The plot is ingeniously ludicrous.


Yes it is, brits! Yes it is!"




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:


Coffee

Pills

Rocky Road Ice Cream

Asthma Medicine Aftertaste

Super Butter Holocaust Flavored Popcorn



... and now ONCE AGAIN Steve and this blog are both PROUD to present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE!


A few ground rules first, though. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and all talkers will be fondled mercilessly by seven Austrian ginger midgets wearing sombreros and fake mustaches while a one eyed albino man watches and shoves nacho cheese up his butt. Also, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And please dispose of trash in its proper receptacle.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Enjoy the show, y'all!





Click here to download the film as a 512Kb MPEG4 file!