NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week: Special Monday Freebie ...

No reason for this.


Just wanted to watch a bad movie.


Enjoy!




Yoinked from wikipedia and 1000misspenthours.com ...


"Indestructible Man (1956) is an American black and white science fiction film, an original screenplay by Vy Russell and Sue Dwiggins for producer-director Jack Pollexfen and starring Lon Chaney, Jr.. It was produced independently, and picked up after completion for distribution in the United States by Allied Artists Pictures Corporation. The film was somewhat of a remake of Chaney's 1941 film, Man Made Monster and owes much to Frankenstein. It was later featured in the fourth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000, alongside an installment of the Crash Corrigan Undersea Kingdom serial.




Back in the old days, the industry had a name for movies like Indestructible Man, the cheaply made, disposable genre fare that was the spiritual descendant of the 1940’s B-picture. 'Programmers,' they called them. Watch Indestructible Man,, and you’ll see just how appropriate the term really was. It isn’t so much a movie as a 70-minute succession of cliches, commonplaces, and stock situations, and it gives every appearance of having been put together out of some kind of kit.


The film tells the story of Butcher Benton (Chaney), a double-crossed convicted robber and murderer who dies in the gas chamber and is inadvertently revived by a lone-wolf cancer researcher who claims his body from the prison and subjects it to further massive jolts of electricity. Benton's heart is restimulated, and he revives mad, mute, immensely strong and with skin virtually impervious even to bazooka shells.




With his new powers, Benton sets out to avenge himself on the two henchmen who, in collusion with his attorney, betrayed him in order to steal his loot, and also to contact his stripper-girlfriend who has gone straight and begun dating the detective who brought Benton to justice.


The worst part of this film is that Chaney doesn’t even get much chance to do what little acting he was capable of; his only dialogue is in the opening scene between Benton and Lowe, and after that he pretty much just stumbles around looking angry in between extended extreme close-ups on his puffy eyes and bulbous, alcohol-ravaged nose. Just about the only redeeming feature of Indestructible Man is that it’s much too colorless to be really objectionable.




The film has been released by numerous studios as a bargain bin disc. The MST3K version of the film has been released by Rhino Home Video as part of the Collection, Volume 11 box set.


The film also contains an extremely sexist ending ...




Finally, you may remember the actor who plays the doctor's assistant in today's film. The part is played by Joe Flynn who went on to bigger and better roles in Disney films and in McHale's Navy."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Pork Rinds

Chips

Freaking Screaming Children




... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE! But first lets go over a few ground rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed in this or any of our 1 Galindo Theater locations. Any and all talkers will be fingered mercilessly. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Enjoy the show y'all!


Saturday, August 28, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and blogs.amctv.com ...


"Dementia 13 is a 1963 horror thriller released by American International Pictures, starring William Campbell, Patrick Magee, and Luana Anders. The film was written and directed by Francis Ford Coppola and produced by Roger Corman. Although Coppola had been involved in at least two nudie films previously, Dementia 13 served as his first mainstream 'legitimate' directorial effort.


The plot follows a scheming young woman who, after having inadvertently caused the heart attack death of her husband, attempts to have herself written into her rich mother-in-law's will. She pays a surprise visit to her late husband's family castle in Ireland, but her plans become permanently interrupted by an axe-wielding lunatic who begins to stalk and murderously hack away at members of the family.


Although he was given total directorial freedom during production, Coppola found himself fighting with Corman after the film was completed when the producer declared the movie unreleasable and demanded several changes be made.




American International Pictures, the legendary exploitation studio run by Roger Corman, is famous not just for the speed of its productions (Little Shop of Horrors was wrapped after two days and one night of shooting), or its casts of aging stars and up-and-comers equally desperate for work (The Terror paired Jack Nicholson and Boris Karloff), but for the directors who yelled 'Cut!' for the first time while working inside Corman's speed machine. Martin Scorsese, James Cameron, Ron Howard, Jonathan Demme, Joe Dante and John Sayles are just a few of the future auteurs who got their start slaving for Corman; Dementia 13 was Francis Ford Coppola's turn.


Corman offered Coppola the chance to direct a low-budget horror movie in Ireland with funds left over from Corman's recently completed The Young Racers, on which Coppola had worked as a sound technician. The producer wanted a cheap Psycho-copy, complete with gothic atmosphere and brutal killings, and Coppola quickly wrote a screenplay in accordance with Corman's requirements. The majority of the American actors in the cast were friends of Coppola’s from UCLA, and many of them paid their own way to Ireland for the opportunity to appear in a film. Most of the Irish cast members were from the Abbey Theatre and were paid strictly minimum wage salaries. Eithne Dunne received approximately $600 for her performance. Cast and crew lived together in a farm house located outside of Dublin.


At the risk of sounding overly-dismissive, this is not a film that stands up well next to The Godfather -- or even Jack. Despite promising Corman that his movie would make audiences 'sick,' Coppola turned in a Gothic black-and-white flick that is heavy on mood and light on blood, a fact that Corman addressed by hiring Jack Hill (Spider Baby) to shoot the movie's most grisly scene, the decapitation.




The speed in which the screenplay was completed resulted in unrealistic, “stilted” dialogue that Campbell recalled as being very difficult for the actors to speak. If you think that the story of the script being written in two days is an exaggeration, a quick listen to the dialogue will disabuse you of that notion. In fact, you might wonder if it's possible to write lines this wooden and unnatural in two lifetimes, let alone two days.


Corman also complained the film was too short, and insisted that it be padded by at least five minutes. Gary Kurtz, one of Corman's assistants at the time, recalled, 'So we shot this stupid prologue that had nothing to do with the rest of the movie. It was some guy who was supposed to be a psychiatrist, sitting in his office and giving the audience a test to see if they were mentally fit to see the picture. The movie was actually released with that prologue.' This cheap William Castle-style gimmick also included a 'D-13 Test' handout given to theater patrons that was ostensibly devised by a 'medical expert' to weed out psychologically unfit people from viewing the film.


However, the filmed five-minute prologue featuring the test has not been included on any of the numerous available home video versions of the title. While the laserdisc version is still around, rumor has it that the actual print of the movie has disappeared. Since that, the inability by Corman and others to locate the original print and the closing of the American International Studios (the original distributors), the movie is in the public domain in the United States.




Dementia 13 was ultimately released in 1963 at the bottom of a double-bill with Corman's X: The Man with the X-Ray Eye. Because of its rushed production and a somewhat incomprehensible screenplay, reviews of Dementia 13 have been mixed.


This stylish, stiff Psycho rip-off is typical of the debut work that the other great directors did for Roger Corman. Hampered by tight budgets, short shooting schedules and Corman's demands that they deliver the goods to audiences hungry for blood and boobs, these movies feel far more like Roger Corman films than anyone else's. But if you look between the cracks, you'll see in Dementia 13 -- as well as in the works of every other debut director in Corman's stable -- very small signs of the genius that was to come."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Grapes

Popcorn

Chips

My Wife's Ample Tits


... and now ONCE AGAIN Steve and this blog are both PROUD to present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE!


A few ground rules first, though. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and all talkers will be fisted mercilessly. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And please dispose of trash in its proper receptacle.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Enjoy the show, y'all!



Tuesday, August 24, 2010

School Forgotten ...

These are my 2.5 daughters, taken a few hours ago. I have some amazing kids.




But this isn't about my amazing kids...


My wife and my fake "other wife" are both going back to school. College. My wife is bicycling there four times a week and studying to become a psychologist. It's going to take her a long time, YEARS to be precise, and I have been taking more care of the kids while I've been home because she has been pretty much gone most of the time.


I'm jealous.


Suddenly my wife isn't paying any attention to be. Suddenly I find myself acting the way I used to act around my older brother-I'm getting all hyper and loud and geeky and nerdy trying to get her attention. Like a fool.


So now that I'm aware that I'm acting like that, suddenly now I'm trying not to care around my wife just so that I don't geek out like a Star Wars fan at Skywalker Ranch every goddamn time I talk to my wife. But how screwed up is that? I'm trying to not care AROUND MY WIFE?


It all boils down to attention. I'm not the center of attention. I'm getting brushed aside. And I should be okay with that, but instead I'm feeling unwanted, unloved, and severely unimportant.


I'm jealous of a college.


I'm such a dork.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

I may be wrong but I do believe that this will be the 120th movie we have focused on since I started this bad movie church alternative thing way back in December 7th, 2008.


Have fun...




Yoinked from wikipedia and badmovies.org ...


"The Brain from Planet Arous is a 1957 science-fiction film that features the theme of alien possession. In the film two brains from outer space land on our planet, one is good and one is bad. Both must possess bodies to accomplish their goals. Who will be taken next? Can Earth survive the massive confrontation of beings from planet Arous?




An outer-space terrorist from a planet named Arous - a brain-shaped creature named Gor - arrives on Earth and possesses young scientist Steve March. Gor then proceeds to use his vast, destructive powers to bend the world to his will, threatening to wipe out the capital city of any nation that defies him.




Although its C-Movie status gave it poor reviews upon its release, the film has since become a cult sci-fi classic, and has been parodied on many TV shows. One notable reference is the American TV show Malcolm in the Middle, which uses a segment of The Brain from Planet Arous as part of the opening credits. The film was also featured in The Butcher Boy, which is viewed by the main character at his local cinema.




The effect on Agar's eyes was achieved using special contact lenses lined with metal foil. This effect was later used on actor Gary Lockwood for the second Star Trek pilot episode 'Where No Man Has Gone Before.'


The film was shown as a double-feature with Monster from Green Hell from 1958 onwards."




... and now ONCE AGAIN Steve and this blog are both PROUD to present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE!


Please, though, a few ground rules. There's no talking in Steve's Theater and all talkers will be wet willied mercilessly. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Enjoy the show, y'all!




And here are the Sunday movies I've seen so far ...


December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)

My Daughter's Joke ...

This is my youngest daughter's joke.


Enjoy ...




Hope you liked it.


I'm going to try and set up a church-Less Movie Of The Week either later tonight or sometime tomorrow.


By the way, I am fairly sad to state that the new Tinkerbell movie was cute as hell.




Wind clan out.