NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and monster movies.com ...


"Cat-Women of the Moon is a 1953 Science fiction 3-D film directed by Arthur Hilton. It stars Sonny Tufts, Victor Jory and Marie Windsor. The musical score was composed by Elmer Bernstein.


This is one of several low budget films from the 1950s-1960s that share the same premise of a typically all-male expedition to a remote and isolated location where the males discover a race of women without men.


This film was excellently parodied in the cult film 'Amazon Women On The Moon.'




This film was originally released theatrically in 3-D and has been since shown in 3-D at The 3-D Film Expo at Grauman's Egyptian Theatre in 2003, and at the Historic Castro Theatre in San Francisco in 2006. Cat Women Of The Moon has since been released in 3-D on VHS and 2-D on DVD. As of 2007, The L.A. Connection improvisational comedy troupe regularly screens this film in its live 'Dub-a-vision' performances


William Phipps, who played Doug Smith in the film, told interviewer Tom Weaver, 'When I saw that spaceship set, I thought I was workin' for Soupy Sales! And that giant spider! They held it up with big ropes above us on the cave set and dropped it down on our heads. At the time, I thought it was the most outrageous, absurd thing in the world - how did spiders get on the Moon?! It was all just incredible - I thought, how can anybody put this in a movie? It's gonna ruin it!'


In the same interview William Phipps said that they ran out of money to end the movie. That last scene with the shooting was added in a couple of hours. with that voice over by Victor Jory saying, 'The Cat Woman are dead.'




Yes, it's terrible. Badly acted, fairly unimaginative, maybe even insulting to women...but somehow it remains fun and yes, watchable. Maybe because it's a 1953 throw back to an even earlier science fiction era? Maybe.


But then again, this one seems to be bad, simply awful, yet campy, cheesy and wonderfully nostalgic in it's own special sort of way."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

M&M's

M&M's

More M&M's

A Few Little Bags Of Chips

Peanut Butter Crackers

Sex With My Wife


... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE!


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be murdered Chicago style. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!


Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Day Like Sunday ...



Today is my day off and so far it's been a pretty amazing day. I've been pretty much alone all day. My wife is at school, my kids are in school, and the loud ass family we have living with us are pretty non-existent today.


This means that I can relax and stretch out and pretty much do whatever the hell I want!


So far today I have scarfed down a whole bad of popcorn, drank a shitload of coffee, watched an insanely BORING italian sci-fi film that's so bad I won't even show it HERE, checked out a ton of porn, ate a bunch of junk, went to see my asthma doctor, and I even downloaded a cool black and white WWI-era film called "This Is Not a Test" that I can't wait to watch.


I also rocked out to some new music I got from limewire ...


Dead Elvi: The Creature Stole My Surfboard

Siouxsie & the Banshees: Kiss Them For Me

Conway Twitty: I See The Want To In Your Eyes

Groovie Ghoulies: Hello Again


It sucks that I'm alone without my darling daughters and my wife. But it's also been nice to be shrowded in silence for a change without Lisa's kids yelling and screaming every second of the day.


There were a few times today when it actually felt like it was sunday, back when my wife and kids would go to church, leaving me alone to swim in a comforting pool of bad movie foolishness, back when there wasn't another family of holy terrors living with me, back when sundays were MY days!


Today was almost my day.

Monday, September 20, 2010

"Mr. Macho" Steve Galindo ...



THIS was my slightly choppy and somewhat jumpy wrestling entrance for last year's WWE Raw VS Smackdown 2009 ...




... and THIS is my all NEW entrance, much better looking, for the all new WWE Raw VS Smackdown 2010 ...




Well, this evening I filmed my new wrestling entrance for the new Raw VS Smackdown 2010 and its a BIG HIT on facebook!


Now I'm having requests from friends and followers to make all of Ed Wood's "spooks" so that there can be Reverend Steve VS Ed Wood matches.




THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Random Nuggets Of Steve ...

Ed Wood said in his classic bipoic Glen or Glenda "My mind's in a muddle, like in a thick fog." That's me right now. No better way to describe me. Seriously. No one has any idea what it's like to be me.


So I thought that instead of trying to construct some sort of coherent post that I would just bombard you with videos and music and nice bite-sized pieces of my brain.


Is that ok with you?


Good. Let's continue.




Anthrax: Caught In A Mosh

Weird Al: This Is The Life

Flogging Molly: If I Ever Leave This World Alive


I have been having a really hard time at work lately. I'm not talking about management, though. With a new store manager comes a new store strategy that finally doe NOT include "Everybody pick on Steve." No, things AT work are fine. I have been consciously trying to step up my game and be more professional ever since the robbery and I think I'm finally starting to get respect as a result of it.


I mean that I am LITERALLY having a really hard time at work, meaning that even though it's been over half a year since the robbery, somehow still being in that store freaks me out. The other day one of my co-workers snuck up from behind me and scared me.Not a good thing to do to a man who had a gun pointed to him just a few feet away from where I was scared.


I still have hills to climb.







Julia Roberts is racist towards Italians


A few days ago, shortly after I got my car possessed, I posted a heartfelt plea for financial help which caused one person to say "this is beneath you. Begging for money on the internet to save your finances isn't dignified" and another person, who has been apparently trolling my blog for some time now, to call me "fucking pathetic."


This is who I am. This is me. I am a 33 year old bipolar disorder sufferer and quasi-semi-famous internet celebrity with mild OCD, a penchant for paranoia, and a random desire to literally cut myself to death. So having to defend myself here on this blog is a fairly difficult thing for me to do. But the more I think about this then the more I get upset and the more I want do something bad, which isn't good.


Weezer: I Want To Be Something


But I am sick and tired of other people tearing me down and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. This is not a rip on you, Gwen. You're good peoples. But I shouldn't have to apologize to anyone for just living my life. Although I have been preaching acceptance of self for quite some time now it has only been recently that I have started to really take my own message to heart. I'm not a bad guy and I shouldn't have to defend myself against anyone.


I'm just trying to live my life and be a good guy, so I'm sorry if that is "fucking pathetic" to you.


If you think me and my life is pathetic, then do me a favor and get a life and while you're at it get the fuck out of my blog.






Here's a first-a woman came in to my work a few days ago looking for a math workbook that explained the multiplication tables... IN AUDIO CD!


A workbook audio cd!


That's right up there with the people who look for audio dictionaries!







Although my weekly therapy sessions have been helping me, it is really difficult crying my fucking heart out every week. But my therapy-lady has helped me realize something extremely important: I am NOT going crazy! I just have a crazy life!


Speaking of crazy, my in-laws are moving to Nowhere, Oklahoma in a few weeks. I'm not sure why they're all moving away. It seems to me as if they're just trying to run away from their problems. Or perhaps they're going to try and somehow outrun the recession. But there's a part of me that can't help but think that my wife and I are being abandoned, just like my mom and dad abandoned me. Twice.


Nirvana: Polly (rare New Wave version)







John Lennon: Serve Yourself (demo)


That's it for me. Hope you liked the double feature today. That D-War movie is a D-sasterous piece of sheeit, isn't it?


Anyway, that's it.


Wind Clan out.


Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week: Part 2 ...

This movie, Dragon Wars: D-War: DW: D: d: duh... is post #1,520 and it is available to watch (as if anyone would WANT to) for FREE on this blog OR via Netflix on Demand ...


Enjoy ...




Yoinked from rifftrax, "Eric's Bad Movies" on film.com and from wikipedia ...


"D-War (Korean: 디워), is a 2007 South Korean science-fiction film released in North America as Dragon Wars: D-War, War of the Dragons in Malaysia, and sometimes referred to colloquially and in some marketing materials as Dragon Wars. It is written and directed by Shim Hyung-rae. It is a fantasy-action film that was Korea's largest-budgeted as of 2007.


Every year, hundreds of low-budget films are released on DVD without having played in theaters first. This is usually due to theaters not wanting them, so the movies slink away, disappointed at not being allowed to play on cinema screens, and then turn up in video stores where they are rented by inebriated college students. I can only imagine how jealous those straight-to-DVD movies were when one of their own kind -- a Korean-produced travesty called D-War: Dragon Wars -- somehow sneaked into ACTUAL theaters!


D-War: Dragon Wars -- which is the actual on-screen title -- played in more than 2,000 American theaters in the fall of 2007, grossing almost $11 million. This means well over a million people paid eight or nine bucks apiece to see a film that, by all rights, they should have been able to see for three or four dollars, or whatever Blockbuster charged for new releases back then, in 2007, when Blockbuster still existed.




Originally titled Dragon Wars (and still referred to by this title in publicity material), D-War has a long production history in South Korea. The film was announced in 2002 by director Shim Hyung-rae as his follow-up project to 1999's Yonggary. A show reel appeared in early 2003, showcasing the extensive amount of CGI. However, despite heavy promotion via posters, press releases and videos, principal photography did not begin until October 2004, continuing through December. The budget was set at approximately $33 million (30 billion won), but ultimately went deeply over budget in order to create the various creatures in the film. The DVD release confirmed that it did indeed cost $75 million.


As with Yonggary, Shim opted for a mostly American cast. Veteran actor Robert Forster landed a pivotal role and Jason Behr and Amanda Brooks were cast as the two young leads. The next three years were spent creating the creature effects, all of which were done in house by Shim's Younggu-Art Movies company. The film was released in South Korea on August 1, 2007. In the U.S., the film was released on September 14, 2007.




The plot of D-W: DW concerns an ancient Korean legend that the filmmakers made up, in which every 500 years a girl is born with the 'spirit power' necessary to turn a serpent into a DRAGON! A good serpent will use its newfound dragonness to promote peace throughout the universe -- it will become a wuss dragon, in other words -- while a 'bad' serpent will become a mean and angry dragon and do awesome stuff like set knights on fire with its breath. Now, you might think there are no dragons in the 21st century, but D-W: DW will set you straight. 'Everyone believes the time of dragons has passed,' says the narrator. 'But the time of dragons has just begun!' There, see?


Within nine days of its South Korean release, D-War attracted five million viewers, setting a national box office record for an opening week. The seemingly positive reaction from the Korean population, as indicated by the movie's box office success in Korea, was widely attributed to the film's appeal to Korean nationalism; a logical impression drawn from Shim's message at the end of the Korean version of this film, 'D-War and I will succeed in the world market without fail,' accompanied by the Korean folk anthem.


However, despite box office success, D-Wars was far from critically acclaimed by either Korean critics or Korea's general public. Korean film critic Kim Bong-sok said, 'They want it to be successful in the U.S. because it's Korean, not because it's good' and called the film 'immature and poorly made."




Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, the minds behind Mystery Science Theater 3,000 and now rifftrax.com, decided to D-riff Dragon Wars: D-War because a fan in attendance at our 2009 Comic-Con panel suggested it. The moral of the story? Don't do that.




A major gripe the riff gang have with Dragon Wars: D-War is a gripe they have with just about every single movie that has ever come out: Abbreviations of a movie's title should always be included as part of the title. In today's busy web 2.0 world, who has time to refer to anything by its whole name? However, we run into trouble when movies don't specify how we should abbreviate their titles, and competing, non-standard abbreviations are adopted. Fortunately, our disgust was misguided, as Dragon Wars bucks the trend and includes its own abbreviation in the title: D-War. A true abbreviation, where Dragon becomes D and Wars becomes War, Dragon Wars: D-War provides the consumer with something so sorely missing from movie titles today: Choice.


So whether you choose to experience the fantastical creatures and hi-octane action sequences of Dragon Wars, or prefer the ancient story of a love that knows no bounds of D-War, you must know one thing: this D-movie D-bites D-hard.




A youtube comment on the movie review said it best: 'SUCKED SO FUCKING BAD!!!! THE BEST PART WAS WHEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT!'"




... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and talkers WILL be tazed, bro. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I'm super serious about the last one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Oh, and remember ...




Enjoy the show y'all!




Also, and I hope you are still reading this part here, I have been doing storytimes for kids every week for well over 11 years. And in celebration of this I've compiled a big photo album of over 50 pictures and hilarious stories from over a decade of entertaining children and it would be a personal favor to me if you could check it out and maybe share it ...

STORYTIME WITH MR STEVE 2003-2014

Seriously, if you could plllllleeeeease share the photo album on your Facebook page. It would only take a second and I reeeeeally want to get my name out there. So a quick share would really help me out. Plus, it's pretty cute and fairly hilarious.

And here are the Sunday movies I've seen so far ...


December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)
August 22nd: The Brain from Planet Arous (free to watch)
August 28th: Dementia 13 (free to watch)
August 30th Special Monday Night Freebie: The Indestructible Man (free to watch)
September 5th: Alien Trespass (Netflix on Demand)
September 12th: The Castle of Cagliostro (Netflix on Demand)
September 18th: Scream and Scream Again (free to watch)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from moria.co.nz and the almighty wikipedia ...


"Scream and Scream Again is a 1970 British horror film directed by Gordon Hessler and starring Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and Peter Cushing. It is based on the novel The Disoriented Man by Peter Saxon. It is considered an underground cult classic.




Scream and Scream Again has a small reputation as a minor cult classic. There are a number of people, particularly when the film came out, who dismissed as incomprehensible, although this is equally something that Scream and Scream Again’s proponents cite as one of its virtues. To take a converse stance, one found Scream and Scream Again to be neither incomprehensible, nor compulsively culty. The plot is certainly all over the place and there is a clear desire to find out what is going on that keeps one glued to it for the most part. Once all the clues fall into place, the film becomes rather straightforward and by no means incomprehensible. Some of the running subplots – particularly the various killings set in the fascist dictatorship and of the two escaping British prisoners being recaptured and tortured – are of no importance to the plot and could easily have been dropped.




Scream and Scream Again is certainly an ambitious film in the number of genres it tries to straddle at once – it is trying to appeal to then the fad for Anglo-horror with its vampire-like killer and particularly its big name horror cast – Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Vincent Price; it is also trying to be a spy film with its cutaways to shadowy goings on in Whitehall and foreign countries; it is trying to be a swinging 60s London film; and finally, of course, it unveils itself as a paranoid takeover science-fiction thriller that hearkens back to Quatermass 2/The Enemy from Space (1957) with its alien takeover of British bureaucracy. Ultimately, despite its modern surroundings and paranoia politics, Scream and Scream Again is squarely an old-fashioned mad scientist film.


Disappointing usage is made of the name horror cast, particularly Peter Cushing who gets to appear for only a single scene before being killed off.




Filming began May 5 1969. The only other feature to team 'Vincent Price', Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing was House of the Long Shadows (1983). In 1971, American International Pictures theatrically distributed this film on a double bill with The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971). In interviews a number of years after the film was made, Vincent Price stated that he never understood the script at all.


The theme song for the film was by Amen Corner, who appeared in the film singing it. This was one of their last appearances before Andy Fairweather-Low departed for a solo career after a brief career as Fair Weather."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

A Few Chips

Peanut Butter Crackers

Grapes

My Wife's Huge Ass Tits




... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE!


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be murdered Chris Benoit style. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).




So, all that's left to say is ...


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!


CLICK HERE TO WATCH TODAY'S FILM!

Isabela's Fifth Birthday Party ...

She wanted a Zhu Zhu pets party and she got one!



















... and here's a sweet video of one of the games!