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Saturday, December 31, 2011
I am deeply proud of myself and what I've accomplished. I used to be scared of change and now I am surrounded by family and making new friends in a completely different state.
Happy new year, everyone.
Wind clan out.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Bela thinks it's ok, but she likes "the wwe's" better.
Yesterday my wife took me on a little ride around the town to see the sights of the town.
Three minutes later, we were done.
THAT is how small of a town this is.
We went to the local general store, an incredibly small store called Dollar General that reminded me of going to Goodwill as a toddler. Then we went to the local video store which was so small and dismal that I just wanted to cry. It was sad. And, just as I expected, there were wooden salloon doors in the back that protected the rest of the store from the evil "adult" section.
And the store was called "FAMILY Video!" Irony, right? What type of FAIL family video store has porn? Damn! How freaking stupid is that?
I threw together an impromptu storytime at work today. It had been so long that i've done s storytime that the whole wonderful experience left me feeling literally high.
More later ...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Well that's a picture of it.
I was fairly nervous today at work and it was just a nonstop barrage of people and angry customers and toothless Okies and apparently during all this post Christmas madness I managed to scratch my scar open.
Now it hurts and stings like a son of a bitch.
And you know what?
I love it.
I love it because I hate myself and I deserve to feel this pain. I just act funny and cocky to hide the fact that I just absolutely hate myself. And this pain on my hand is my punishment.
I hate myself for feeling like this about myself.
So THAT is why I am currently watching the awesome Weird Al comedy special on dvd to try and defuse my depressed anti-Steve feelings...
I don't think that it's working.
Cool shit, though. Funny as hell.
Seriously! I've seen him live four or five times now and each and every time it was absolutely amazing. I can't believe I loved him when I was like 8 and here I am watching him rock ass with my kids next to me, you know? Amazing stuff.
And did you know that his legendary cult film UHF was filmed entirely in Tulsa, Oklahoma?
I take that as fate.
Fuck the haters!
Mr. Steve can't be stopped!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
It feels strangely sad to be here in the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma with Natasha's loud, crazy, drama-filled family. It's so loud and angry and I feel like I am just being forgotten.
I feel sad.
I really miss my parents.
Right before we moved, while we were constantly doing packing and sleeping on the floor and whatever, I felt so stressed and sad and frenzied that I found a really old, rust-covered box cutter and slashed my left hand open.
It's been a little over a month since I did it and the scar is still dark and slightly throbbing.
It feels good to punish myself again.
Check out the sweet old glasses that my wife found for me ...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
-I am writing this during a very rainy day here in Seminole, the bleak boil on the butt of Oklahoma. There are days when I honestly don't know if I can stand living here. This place is so small and the people here seems so strange and primitive. I am used to big cities and now I'm stuck in some hick village in the middle of nowhere. But my wife says that she knows that I can do it and if she thinks that I can do it then I can. Or at least I think I can.
-Since Isabela and Maxwell were both born in September, that means that my wife and I got it ON in December. So my wife has put up a mandatory cock block this month, meaning NO sex for me. Not like I was getting any before that, but it just means that my brown balls are so blue that when I pee people mistake my testicular chicken tenders for Papa Smurf.
-So my youngest daughter and I are playing Marvel Super Hero Squad Online together. She WOULD play on her own but she gets confused and always needs help when it comes to video games, so I usually have to sweep in and help her, which becomes me playing a video game while she watches. But I really like this virtual superhero world. It's a really fun way for us to spend time together. And, quite frankly, I think that I may be having more geeky fun than she is playing this thing.
-Work is good. I have been working at my new store for about a week now. It's strange being there because I have over 11 years of bookselling experience, but the new store layout and the new customers makes me feel like a total noob. occasionally, though, someone will come up to me and ask me something and I will just KNOW exactly what they're looking for and exactly where it is. It's an exhilarating feeling to still have that "Mr. Steve" power that I was so worried that I lost. I'm still the man when it comes to working at a bookstore and I think it's only a matter of time until people REALLY start to notice.
-I was pleasantly surprised when I went to my new store and started meeting my fellow Okie employees. I expected something a lot more, well, racist I guess. I expected tall white men with army haircuts chewing Skoal Bandits and spitting and missing teeth and whatnot. I didn't expect a very nice Iranian guy and an older British woman to take me under their wing and help me learn the layout of the place. I also had a really sweet woman with pink hair and multiple facial piercings invite me to a Christmas party, so i guess you could say that I am finally starting to fit in. Yay for me!
-And, as promised in the title, here are some free Christmas music for your punk ass ...
Vince Guaraldi: Christmas Time Is Here (vocal version)
Death Cab For Cutie: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
The Format: Holly Jolly Christmas
south Park: Dead Dead Dead
Eels: Christmas Is Going To The Dogs
Blackalicious: Toy Jackpot
Mystery Science Theater 3,000: Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas
Jack johnson: Someday At Christmas
Blazer Force: Electronic Santa Claus
Run DMC: Christmas In Hollis
Weezer: O Come All Ye Faithful
Winc Clan out.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
But I'm borrowing my mother-in-laws to bring you this horrible Danish-American monster flick I bought for fifty cents at a Savers in Chandler, Arizona on my road trip here.
Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia god and b-movie central...
"Reptilicus, a giant monster film about a fictional prehistoric reptile, is a Danish-American co-production, produced by American International Pictures and Saga Studios, and is upon close examination two distinctly different films helmed by two different directors.
The original version, which was shot in Danish was directed by Danish director Poul Bang and released in Denmark on February 25, 1961. The American version, which was in English with a nearly identical cast, was directed by the film's American producer-director Sidney W. Pink; this version was initially deemed virtually unreleasable by American International Pictures and had to be extensively reworked by the film's Danish-American screenwriter, Ib Melchior, before being finally released in America in 1962.
As this was a Danish monster flick and the Danish aren't know for their filmmaking greatness, I went into this movie not expecting too much. It was this lack of expectation that kept me from being too disappointed at what I did get. There's a lot of b-movie material here but not a whole lot of that b-movie goodness that goes with it. The only real bright spot in the movie is that Dr. Martens daughter Lise is very nice to look at and only gets better as the film goes on. Unfortunately, that's about where the good points end.
The monster animation was very bad and almost all of the monster scenes were out of focus just enough to be annoying. There were way too many tourist shots and way way too many scenes of people running for their lives. It gets repetitive and old really quick.
A novelization of the film was released in paperback at the time of its original release (Reptilicus by Dean Owen. In 1961, Charlton Comics produced a comic book based on the film. Reptilicus lasted two issues. After the copyright had lapsed, Charlton modified the creatures look and renamed it Reptisaurus. The series was now renamed Reptisaurus the Terrible and would continue from issue #3 before being cancelled with issue #8 in 1962. This was followed by a one-shot called Reptisaurus Special Edition in 1963."
Steve's Snacks Of The Week:
Potato Chip Shards
Ice Cream Bars
... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE! Yeah. Sweet. That's how much I rock.
But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed in Galindo Theater locations. Any and all talkers will be abused via witty sarcasm. No cell phones or African-American berries. And NO TEXTING!
And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).
So, all that's left to say is ...
ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I wasn't allowed to come right out and say it because my wife wanted to surprise her relatives and especially her niece Deinna. However, now that we are here I am free to come out and say it. So here it is: we moved. We sold our house in Sacramento and road tripped it to the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma.
And I say good riddance to that stink town! And good riddance to stinky sweater-wearing people who did nothing but find fault in my greatness. I am good, regardless of what anybody says.
It's like what one of my followers keeps saying to me: "Steve, fuck the haters!"
So now I work in Norman, Oklahoma where I am in charge of kick-starting their new storytime program. I'm currently only working part-time but I have faith that when my new store sees how awesome I am with 11+ years under my belt that I will get my full time job back.
I do not live in Norman, however. Norman is a slightly small college town where the University of Oklahoma Sooners originatre. I live about 45 minutes away in a frighteninly small town called Seminole. Extremely small. In fact, I may go crazy. But we shall see.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone,
see all the things that you did wrong.
You'll wish I wrote you just one more song,
left well enough alone.
You're gonna miss my smilin' face,
havin' me around the place.
Well you knocked me into outer space and
pushed me off my throne.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
You're gonna miss me ... when I'm gone."
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
And I have never felt better!
I have honestly never felt more comfortable in my own body before. I am almost done with this long, lonely, heartbreaking chapter in my life. I am closing a ten year long chapter in my life. I feel free. I feel light as air. My time is almost over. I am soooooooooo close to being done once and for all that my soul could take off and fly away.
I'm done here.
I feel like I should start singing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" right now.
I have no idea what the future holds for me. And for once that feels awesome.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Yoinked from wikipedia and my boys at Monster Movie Music ...
"For Your Height Only (also known as For Y'ur Height Only) is a 1981 Filipino comedy/action movie starring Weng Weng. Its title is a play on words on 'For Your Eyes Only' which was the title of the James Bond film released that same year. A sequel was produced in 1982, titled The Impossible Kid.
Ernesto de la Cruz was born on Sept 7, 1957, and his short life ended on August 29, 1992, at the young age of 34, but Ernesto was also Weng Weng, a 2 Ft, 9 in. tall Filipino actor and martial artist, and in this movie he stars not as 007 but as Agent 00! Weng Weng was so popular that at one point he was given the rank of honorary Philippine Secret Agent by the shoe queen herself, Imedla Marcos! Weng Weng is known as the shortest man to ever be a lead in an action film/martial arts film.
In the film, Weng stars as Agent 00, who is sent to stop the drug trade and its mysterious warlord Mr. Giant. (Giant is a dwarf, while 00 is a midget.) He befriends a woman who, still in the grip of the organization, works as a mole for him. This leads to many battles between 00 and the villain's henchmen.
The plot eventually shifts to Mr. Giant's true goal: using the N-Bomb. Created by Dr. Kohler, it is a weapon that does something that is never really explained. Always the company man, Agent 00 takes this story swing in stride and continues to fight the villains. One part early on has him sneaking up on people throughout, which is easy given that he exists just below most people's peripheral vision. Another has him taking on Samurai and with a conveniently-scaled katana sword.
I know that in this ever growing climate of political correctites, it probably seems wrong to use a small person as a novelty in a movie, but get this one thing straight, as funny as it seems, this isn't a comedy, and Weng Weng is very serious about his performance and his martial art skills! It's a miniature man acting seriously in the single most UN-serious spy movie ever."
Steve's Snacks Of The Week:
... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE! Yeah. That's right. That's how much I rock.
But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be molested Penn State style. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!
And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).
ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I hate how many people use the phrase Black Friday now.
The news uses it to instill panic and brainwash you into believing their lies and the giant corporations are using this phrase now to sell you more crap you don't need. They all use the phrase like it's nothing.
That was OUR phrase, the workers. We invented that phrase, us retail monkeys, to describe how horrible of a day it was, and now it's been stolen by the big 1% corporate behemoths and used to try and spread retail panic and draw even more sales.
Anyway, I survived.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
We are down to the wire here. We don't have much time left here. It's time to just jump into the pool and see what happens.
These are the hard times now.
Wish me luck.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia, with a special thank you to Frankensteinia, the Frankenstein blog ...
"Frankenstein is a 1931 Pre-Hays Code horror film from Universal Pictures directed by James Whale and adapted from the play by Peggy Webling which in turn is based on the novel of the same name by Mary Shelley. The film stars Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, John Boles and Boris Karloff, and features Dwight Frye and Edward van Sloan.
There are more differences between the movie and book than there are similarities. This is because the movie is largely based on the 1920s play by Peggy Webling rather than the original Shelley text. Jack Pierce was the makeup artist who designed the now-iconic 'flat head' look for Karloff's monster, although Whale's contribution in the form of sketches remains a controversy, and who was actually responsible for the idea of the look will probably always be a mystery.
The film begins with Edward Van Sloan stepping from behind a curtain and delivering a 'friendly warning' before the opening credits:
'We are about to unfold the story of Frankenstein, a man of science who sought to create a man after his own image without reckoning upon God. It is one of the strangest tales ever told. It deals with the two great mysteries of creation – life and death. I think it will thrill you. It may shock you. It might even – horrify you. So if any of you feel that you do not care to subject your nerves to such a strain, now's your chance to – uh, well, we warned you.'
In the opening credits, Karloff is unbilled, with only a question mark being used in place of his name. This is a nod to a tradition of theatrical adaptations billing the monster without a name. Universal had not revealed in advance who was playing the monster, and had not released any pictures of the monster in order to conceal his appearance.
Although Frankenstein's hunchbacked assistant is often referred to as 'Igor' in descriptions of the films, this is incorrect. In both Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein has an assistant who is played both times by Dwight Frye who is crippled. In the original 1931 film the character is named Fritz who is hunchbacked and walks with the aid of a small cane. In Bride of Frankenstein, Frye plays Karl a murderer who stands upright but has a lumbering metal brace on both legs that can be heard clicking loudly with every step. Both characters would be killed by Karloff's monster in their respective films. It was not until Son of Frankenstein that a character called Ygor first appears (here played by Bela Lugosi and revived by Lugosi in the Ghost of Frankenstein after his apparent murder in Son of Frankenstein).
The world's most valuable movie poster is the full color 1931 Frankenstein 6-sheet which is currently owned by Stephen Fishler, a NY poster collector. It is the only copy known to exist."
"Bride of Frankenstein is a 1935 American horror film, the first sequel to Frankenstein (1931). Bride of Frankenstein was directed by James Whale and stars Boris Karloff as The Monster, Elsa Lanchester in the dual role of his mate and Mary Shelley, Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein and Ernest Thesiger as Doctor Pretorius.
The film follows on immediately from the events of the earlier film, and is rooted in a subplot of the original Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein (1818). In the film, a chastened Henry Frankenstein abandons his plans to create life, only to be tempted and finally coerced by the Monster, encouraged by Henry's old mentor Dr. Pretorius, into constructing a mate for him. As originally filmed, Henry and Elizabeth died fleeing the exploding castle. Whale re-shot the ending to allow for their survival, although Clive and Hobson are still visible on-screen in the collapsing laboratory. Whale completed his final cut, shortening the running time from about 90 minutes to 75 and re-shooting and re-editing the ending, only days before the film's scheduled premiere date.
Preparation began shortly after the first film premiered, but script problems delayed the project. Principal photography started in January 1935, with creative personnel from the original returning in front of and behind the camera. Bride of Frankenstein was released to critical and popular acclaim, although it encountered difficulties with some state and national censorship boards. Since its release the film's reputation has grown, and it is hailed as Whale's masterpiece.
Modern film scholars, noting Whale's homosexuality and that of others involved in the production, have found a gay sensibility in the film, although a number of Whale's associates have dismissed the idea. Gay film historian Vito Russo, in considering Pretorius, stops short of identifying the character as gay, instead referring to him as 'sissified' (sissy itself being Hollywood code for homosexual). Pretorius serves as a 'gay Mephistopheles', a figure of seduction and temptation, going so far as to pull Frankenstein away from his bride on their wedding night to engage in the unnatural act of creating non-procreative life. A novelization of the film published in England made the implication clear, having Pretorius say to Frankenstein ''Be fruitful and multiply.' Let us obey the Biblical injunction: you of course, have the choice of natural means; but as for me, I am afraid that there is no course open to me but the scientific way.'"
"Son of Frankenstein is the third film in Universal Studios' Frankenstein series and the last to feature Boris Karloff as the Monster as well as the first to feature Béla Lugosi as Ygor. It is a sequel to Bride of Frankenstein. The film was a reaction to the very popular re-releases of Dracula and Frankenstein as a double-feature in 1938. Universal's declining horror output was revitalized with the enormously successful Son, and the studio enjoyed another two decades of popular monster movies.
After director James Whale had departed from Universal Films, Universal selected Rowland V. Lee to direct Son. Lee's film explores dramatic themes: family, security, isolation, responsibility and father-son relationships. Son of Frankenstein marks changes in the Monster's character from Bride of Frankenstein. The Monster is duller and no longer speaks. The monster also wore a giant fur vest, not seen in the first two Frankenstein films. He is fond of Ygor, and obeys his orders. Unlike the previous two films, the Monster only shows humanity in two scenes: first when he discovers Ygor's body, letting out a powerful scream and later when he contemplates killing Peter, but changes his mind.
The film was intended to be shot in color. Test shooting took place although the monsters make-up did not look good enough and the idea was abandoned. Color clips of Boris Karloff in monster make-up clowning around are included in the documentary. After the phenomenial success of Son of Frankenstein, Karloff decided not to return to the role of the monster, feeling that the monster was becoming the brunt of jokes. Also Son marked the final 'A' production of the Frankenstein films, which later went to 'B' films beginning with Ghost of Frankenstein in 1942."
The Ghost of Frankenstein, is an American monster horror film released in 1942. The movie is the fourth in a series of films produced by Universal Studios based upon characters in Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein and features Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Monster, taking over from Boris Karloff, who played the role in the first three films of the series, and Béla Lugosi in his second appearance as the demented Ygor.
Ghost of Frankenstein marked the final appearance of the Monster in a solo capacity. Beginning with the next film, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (in which Lugosi plays the Monster with Chaney switching to his Wolf Man character), and continuing for the rest of the Universal Monsters series, Frankenstein's Monster would be part of an ensemble cast of creatures.
The blinding of the Monster resulted in a lasting stereotype of the creature walking with arms outstretched, even though this is the only film in which it is explicitly indicated that he is blind, such references being cut by the studio from Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, sabotaging Lugosi's performance in the process, since the audience is left to wonder why the Monster is behaving so peculiarly. The Monster's sight was also restored in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man but references to that were also cut. The Monster's ability to speak would be dropped after this film (Lugosi's dialogue being filmed but ultimately deleted from Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man) until Glenn Strange, playing the monster, spoke briefly in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.
Despite having been apparently killed at the end of Son of Frankenstein, Ygor was revealed only to have been 'maimed by the bullets shot into him by Wolf Frankenstein'. There was no mention of a second son of the original Dr. Frankenstein in Son of Frankenstein. Ludwig states that he has lived in this area his entire life, but it is not explained why only Wolf was raised in America."
"Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, released in 1943, is an American monster horror film produced by Universal Studios starring Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Wolf Man and Bela Lugosi as Frankenstein's monster. This was the first of a series of "ensemble" monster films combining characters from several film series. This film, therefore, is both the fifth in the series of films based upon Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and a sequel to The Wolf Man.
As ultimately edited and released, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is told in two almost precisely-equal halves. The discovery of the Monster and pursuit of the notes don't begin until thirty-five minutes into the film; the preceding scenes tell the story of Talbot's resurrection, killing spree, hospitalization, and escape across Europe. Most synopses of the film's plot begin with his discovery of the Monster and describe the first half only briefly. Much time is spent with a secondary police inspector character and on scenes with a desperate Talbot hospitalized by Dr. Mannering. The second half introduces the Monster, Elsa, and the village of Vasaria and its inhabitants.
Immediately following his success in Dracula, Lugosi had been the first choice to play the Monster in Universal's original Frankenstein film, but Lugosi famously either turned down the non-speaking part or was disinvited after director Robert Florey was replaced by James Whale; the virtually unknown Boris Karloff then was cast in his star-making role. (Florey later wrote that 'the Hungarian actor didn't show himself very enthusiastic for the role and didn't want to play it.') Eight years later, Lugosi joined the franchise as the Monster's twisted companion Ygor in Son of Frankenstein. He returned to the role in the sequel, The Ghost of Frankenstein, in which Ygor's brain is implanted into the Monster (now Chaney), causing the creature to take on Lugosi/Ygor's voice. After plans for Chaney to play both the Monster and the Wolf Man in the next film fell through for logistical reasons, the natural next step was for Lugosi, who turned sixty during the film's production, to take on the part that he once was slated to originate.
The original script — and indeed the movie as originally filmed — had the Monster performing dialogue throughout the film, including references to the events of Ghost and indicating that the Monster is now nearly blind (a side-effect of the transplant as revealed at the end of the previous film, and the reason for the iconic stiff-armed "Frankenstein Walk"). According to screenwriter Curt Siodmak, a screening audience (studio or public) reacted negatively to this, finding the idea of the Monster speaking with a Hungarian accent unintentionally funny (although the Monster spoke with Lugosi's voice at the end of Ghost of Frankenstein and audiences did not hoot it off the screen). Though it cannot be confirmed through any other sources, this has been generally accepted as the reason virtually all scenes in which Lugosi speaks were deleted (though two brief scenes remain in the film that show Lugosi's mouth moving without sound). Consequently, Lugosi is onscreen literally for only a few minutes, leaving the Wolf Man as the film's primary focus. Lugosi suffered exhaustion at some point during the filming, and his absence from the set, combined with his physical limitations at age sixty, required the liberal use of stand-ins.
This would be the final Universal horror film in which the Monster played a major role; in the subsequent films House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula, the Monster, now played by Glenn Strange, comes to life only in the final scenes. In the 1948 Universal comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (the second and only other film in which Lugosi plays Dracula), Strange has a larger role and the creature once again speaks, albeit very limited dialogue, twice muttering 'Yes, Master.'"
Steve's Snacks Of The Week:
Day Old Chinese Food
... and now we have something really special!
In honor of our marathon we have, courtesy of the Cinebeats blog, a pretty sweet mix-tape of really swingin' Frankenstein-flavored tunes that you can stream by clicking on the image below. The mix of music swings from Soupy Sales to The New York Dolls and Edgar Winter and a ton of strange, fun tunes in-between.
ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!
I sent in four different tweets but the one that made it in concerns an awesome idea I've had for a while now regarding Snuggies and Shamwows. Not only is it an awesome line but Jim HIMSELF calls it a "good idea" DURING the song!
So now I actually have a line in a song from my all-time favorite band!!!
How freaking awesome is that?!?!?
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Community actor and Mystery Team star (seriously see that film!) Donald Glover raps in his spare time under the name Childish Gambino, a name that he created from a Wu-Tang Clan name.
Anyway, I promised my friend Milton that I'd put some Childish Gambino tracks up here. It's pretty darn good stuff, too. Guy does good.
I should probably also say that I yoinked these mp3's from an awesome review on the blog Sunset in the Rearview that you should read if you want a more detailed breakdown other than "Guy does good."
... and here is a really awesome mashup of Childish Gambino and Red Hot Chili Peppers that really sets a great mood for the song. Really good stuff.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I don't work until 3:30pm so I thought that I should spend my time watching a bad movie.
So I found a rare copy online of the 1981 Filipino midget spy comedy For Y'Ur Height Only starring the 2 foot, 9 inch tall Weng Weng, who is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the shortest adult actor in a leading role.
I sat thru about twenty minutes of that crap before I turned it off. I gave up. I couldn't watch a minute more of that shit. It's like it was made by a seven year old retard. Hideous acting, hideous writing, hideous everything. It's just a pile of absolute shit.
Later, when I told my wife that I actually couldn't sit thru a bad move, she surprisingly stated "Wow, it was THAT bad?"
I'm worried. I've never found a bad movie that I didn't like. Am I getting old? Am I losing my touch?
I would love to make it this weekend's Church-less Movie Of The Week but I just successfully found every classic Universal Frankenstein movie online and I kinda want to go with that instead.
What do you think?
(Notice how I made the picture of Weng Weng really small? That's humor.)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Can you believe that we're back with our sixth episode? Crazy! This new video is chock full of tasty, frothy root beer goodness!
Today your host Mr. Steve and his two special guest drink and review root beer and generally act crazy. It's a fun little episode with dogs, Santa, snow and even a special guest, Mr. OZZY OSBOURNE!
So here's an old Bela Lugosi potboiler of a film for your punk ass.
"Voodoo Man is a 1944 American film directed by William Beaudine. It was shot in a mere seven days beginning October 16 1943 and was the last of Bela Lugosi's 9 Monogram features, but released 4 months prior to the 8th film, Return of the Ape Man.
Lone female motorists traveling a particular highway have been mysteriously vanishing without a trace. They are victims of a weird trap created by Dr. Marlowe, played by Bela Lugosi. With the help of John Carradine as Bela's half-witted henchman Toby, and George Zucco as Nicholas the Voodoo Priest, Dr. Marlowe uses his captive women in a bizarre attempt to bring his beautiful wife back from a state of zombie-like coma, or rather a living death.
Bela Lugosi turns in a fine performance as Dr. Richard Marlowe, desperately trying to bring his zombie wife back to life by transferring the life force of another woman into her body. Zombies abound, but not the George Romero type of flesh-eating ones. Veteran character actor John Carradine turns in a quirky performance as Toby, Dr. Marlowe's manservant. He's such a delight to watch on screen as he takes a minor role and brings it center stage.
The rest of the cast is solid as well. However, the voodoo sequences where the high priest does his evil chants in order to work his magic are terribly hokey as the priest utters a series of nonsensical syllables that sound like he's making them up off the top of his head."
Steve's Snacks Of The Week:
A Lot More Coffee
A Buncha Chips
... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE!
Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and talkers WILL be spit on, then impregnated. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I am so serious about that last one.
And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).
Enjoy the show y'all!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia ...
"Cannibal Holocaust is a 1980 Italian horror film directed by Ruggero Deodato from a screenplay by Gianfranco Clerici. Filmed in the Amazon Rainforest and dealing with indigenous tribes, it was cast mostly with United States actors and filmed in English to achieve wider distribution. Francesca Ciardi and Luca Barbareschi were among the leads as native Italian speakers to qualify the film as European for distribution on the continent. The film reportedly grossed $200,000,000 worldwide at the box office.
The film tells the story of a missing documentary film crew who had gone to the Amazon to film indigenous tribes. A rescue mission, led by the New York University anthropologist Harold Monroe, recovers their lost cans of film, which an American television station wishes to broadcast. Upon viewing the reels, Monroe is appalled by the team's actions, and after learning their fate, he objects to the station's intent to air the documentary. Much of Cannibal Holocaust is the portrayal of the recovered film's content, which functions similarly to a flashback and grows increasingly disturbing as the film progresses
The original controversy that surrounded the film's release was the belief that Cannibal Holocaust was an actual snuff film, or that the actors were murdered in order to film their deaths for the movie; these allegations were originally suggested in January 1981 in an article by the French magazine Photo. The film was confiscated ten days after its premiere in Milan, and Deodato was arrested. Although he was originally charged with obscenity, the charges were amended to include murder, as the courts not only believed that the four actors portraying the missing film crew were killed for the camera, but that the actress in the impalement scene was actually skewered in such a manner. To make matters worse for Deodato, the actors had signed contracts with him and the producers ensuring that they would not appear in any type of media, motion pictures, or commercials for one year after the film's release in order to promote the idea that the film was truly the recovered footage of missing documentarians. Thus, when Deodato claimed that he had not killed the group, questions arose as to why the actors were in no other media if they were alive. Eventually, Deodato was able to prove that the violence was staged. He contacted Luca Barbareschi and told him to gather the other three actors. After he voided the contracts in order to avoid life in prison, Deodato brought the foursome onto the set of an Italian television show, which satisfied the courts.
Although Deodato was later cleared, the film was banned in Italy, the UK, Australia, and several other countries due to its graphic depiction of violence, sexual assault, and the actual slaughter of seven animals. Some nations have since revoked the ban, but the film is still barred in several countries. Nonetheless, critics have suggested that the film is a commentary about civilized society."
Steve's Snacks Of The Week:
... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! There are a bit of annoying subtitles on the bottom of the screen. Don't worry about it. Also, after the feature runs first it runs AGAIN without sound for some inexplicable reason. Don't worry about that either. This film is the goods.
Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and talkers WILL be spanked, then impregnated. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I am so serious about that last one.
And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).
Enjoy the show y'all!
And here is the ever growing list of Sunday movies that I've seen so far ...
December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)
August 22nd: The Brain from Planet Arous (free to watch)
August 28th: Dementia 13 (free to watch)
August 30th Special Monday Night Freebie: The Indestructible Man (free to watch)
September 5th: Alien Trespass
September 12th: The Castle of Cagliostro (Netflix on Demand)
September 19th (part 1): Scream and Scream Again (free to watch)
Septemner 19th (part 2): Dragon Wars (free to watch)
September 26th: cat-Women Of The Moon (free to watch)
October 2nd: The Food Of The Gods (Netflix on Demand)
Woodmas, October 10th: Plan 9 LIVE
October 17th: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (free to watch)
October 24th: Donovan's Brain (free to watch)
October 31st: The Hideous Sun Demon (free to watch)
December 12th: 4-D Man (Netflix on Demand)
December 18th: The Tingler (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Man From Planet X (Netflix On Demand)
December 27th (part 2): Little Shop of Horrors (free to watch)
January 2nd, 2011: The Creature from the Black Lagoon (free to watch)
January 16th: Real Genius (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 1): The Horror of Party Beach (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 2): The Beach Girls and the Monster (free to watch)
January 30th: They Live (free to watch)
February 6th: The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (free to watch)
February 13th: Chained For Life (free to watch)
February 19th: Ghost Rider (free to watch)
February 27th (Godfather of Gore Double Feature): Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs (free to watch)
March 12th: MST3K's Red Zone Cuba (free to watch)
March 19th: Death Race 2000 (free to watch)
March 26th: I Eat Your Skin (free to watch)
April 2nd: Shock (free to watch)
April 9th: Trog (free to watch)
April 16th: Dwain Esper Double Feature (free to watch)
April 23rd: Turkish Superman (free to watch)
April 30th: Phenomena/Creepers (free to watch)
May 8th: Star Wars Uncut (free to watch)
May 18th (Make-Up Edition): The Stuff (free to watch)
May 22nd: Bloody Pit of Horror (free to watch)
May 29th: Special When Lit (free to watch)
June 5th: Hercules In New York (free to watch)
June 11th: The Thing From Another World (free to watch)
June 25th: Troll 2 (free to watch)
July 8th: Snow Monster (free to watch)
July 9th: Dr. Phibes Double Feature (free to watch)
July 16th: Parts: The Clonus Horror (free to watch)
August 14th: The Bat (free to watch)
August 21st: Zontar The Thing From Venus (free to watch)
September 3rd: Piranha (free to watch)
September 24th: Ring Of Terror (free to watch)
October 2nd: Monty Python Double Feature (free to watch)
October 8th: The Bat People (free to watch)
November 9th: Cinema Insomnia's Venus Flytrap (free to watch)