NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from zanestein.com, film school rejects.com, and the almighty wikipedia ...


"Hercules in New York is a 1970 fantasy adventure film. It is known for being the first feature film to star Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was about 22 years old when the film was produced. It is one of the films that Arnold Schwarzenegger admits regretting. Playing the film's title character, Schwarzenegger, because of his long last name and to play off the name of fellow cast member comedian Arnold Stang, is credited as Arnold Strong Mr. Universe.


Due to his thick Austrian accent, Schwarzenegger had all his lines dubbed, although modern showings of the film have his audio track restored. However, even these restored showings cannot change the final scene's lines that Hercules speaks to Pretzie over a small transistor radio, in a voice that is clearly not Schwarzenegger's.




This was also the first movie for comedian John Candy, who had a single quick scene, although he was not mentioned in the credits. The water-thin plot revolves around Hercules, the half-man-half-god son of Zeus who lives on celestial Mt. Olympus. One day, in a fit boredom, he demands to be sent to Earth to consort with the mortals. What follows is 80 minutes of events that redefine the word misadventure.


The razor-thin plotline is a crap of a farce that was constructed to provide nothing more than an easy vehicle for a bodybuilder. It’s not entirely respectable that the inciting action of the entire saga is boredom, but it would be forgivable if the plot got the least bit more complex. Though to be fair, there is wrestling and a weight-lifting competition to heighten the drama and further explore the human condition.




This film is ferociously bad. However, the film does fall into the category of 'so bad, it’s good' and actually manages to be very entertaining in spite of itself. On the strength of Arnold's wooden performance, however, it is amazing he ever acted again. Mind you, that could be said of pretty much all of his movies.


On October 19, 2006, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that Premiere Pictures was auctioning off the rights to the film on eBay for a minimum bid of $550,000




After the ship docks, Hercules takes up with an Earthling who becomes his 'sidekick', played by Arnold Stang. If you watched TV in the 50's, you saw Arnold often on the Milton Berle Show, doing commercials for Delco, and for Orkin ('Stop squawkin', call Orkin!'). Later generations know Arnold's voice as Herman in the Herman and Katnip cartoons, or as the voice of Top Cat in the cartoon of the same name.


The music for the film is composed of shitty mandolin nonsense that puts one in the mood to do little more than go to Bucca di Peppo. The movie was re-released under two other names: Hercules - The Movie, and Hercules Goes Bananas."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

More Coffee

Movie Theater Popcorn

Bag Of Chips

Sweat


... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! But lets go over a few rules first. There's no talking in Steve's Theater during our feature presentation and talkers WILL be severely farted upon! Also, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. No open flames. Dispose of all trash in its proper receptacle. And NO TEXTING! I am so serious about that one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!




And here are the Sunday movies I've seen so far ...


December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)
August 22nd: The Brain from Planet Arous (free to watch)
August 28th: Dementia 13 (free to watch)
August 30th Special Monday Night Freebie: The Indestructible Man (free to watch)
September 5th: Alien Trespass
September 12th: The Castle of Cagliostro (Netflix on Demand)
September 19th (part 1): Scream and Scream Again (free to watch)
Septemner 19th (part 2): Dragon Wars (free to watch)
September 26th: cat-Women Of The Moon (free to watch)
October 2nd: The Food Of The Gods (Netflix on Demand)
Woodmas, October 10th: Plan 9 LIVE
October 17th: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (free to watch)
October 24th: Donovan's Brain (free to watch)
October 31st: The Hideous Sun Demon (free to watch)
December 12th: 4-D Man (Netflix on Demand)
December 18th: The Tingler (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Man From Planet X (Netflix On Demand)
December 27th (part 2): Little Shop of Horrors (free to watch)
January 2nd, 2011: The Creature from the Black Lagoon (free to watch)
January 16th: Real Genius (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 1): The Horror of Party Beach (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 2): The Beach Girls and the Monster (free to watch)
January 30th: They Live (free to watch)
February 6th: The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (free to watch)
February 13th: Chained For Life (free to watch)
February 19th: Ghost Rider (free to watch)
February 27th (Godfather of Gore Double Feature): Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs (free to watch)
March 12th: MST3K's Red Zone Cuba (free to watch)
March 19th: Death Race 2000 (free to watch)
March 26th: I Eat Your Skin (free to watch)
April 2nd: Shock (free to watch)
April 9th: Trog (free to watch)
April 16th: Dwain Esper Double Feature (free to watch)
April 23rd: Turkish Superman (free to watch)
April 30th: Phenomena/Creepers (free to watch)
May 8th: Star Wars Uncut (free to watch)
May 18th (Make-Up Edition): The Stuff (free to watch)
May 22nd: Bloody Pit of Horror (free to watch)
May 29th: Special When Lit (free to watch)

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