NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

About The Mother-In-Law ...

Still no computer for the Steve, so I am once again forced to get my blog fix from the handheld device located in my top secret fortified government bunker twenty miles below the surface of the earth where I retreat to sometimes to plot my revenge against the society that once shunned me.

Yeah, I have a top secret lair. Whatever. It's no biggie.

My wife and kids and I are all doing good, surviving family life in this shathole of a 9:00pm town. My wife is 33 weeks preggers with little Maxwell Edward Galindo. But the boy seems to be growing at a massive Bert I. Gordon sort of a way, because apparently the little fetal bratski is now growing SIX WEEKS AHEAD of where he should be!

We are giving birth to an Andre the Giant. My very own baby T?or Johnson!

THANK WOOD that monster isn't being yanked out of MY vag, right?

So my mother-in-law arrived two days ago. She is going to be living with us from now until maybe the end of September or the beginning of October. She now lives with the rest of my wife's crazy ass family in Nowhere, Oklahoma and we pulled a few strings to get her here so that she could be there for us during this pregnancy.

I am a bit worried though about this. For starters, I already see Nanah being the alpha mom of the house and harping poor pregnant Tasha like the child she used to be. Also, having Nanah in our house makes the whole family feel much easier about forgetting me. It's easier for me to be quiet now and that sucks. And what about my offensive brand of humor? How can I continue making gay jokes and blaming the jews for all of societies ills if Nanah is quietly knitting on the couch?

No comments: