NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Monday, August 22, 2011

My Random Facebook Thoughts ...

-When a baby is born in this hospital they play a lullaby thru the intercom. When a baby dies? Metallica's "One" in its entirety.


-You know what would be sad? If Osama Bin Laden came back to life and killed Jaycee Duggard with a cute little puppy. In front of deaf orphans. Now that would be SUPER sad!


-Reading "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline has taught me that in the future your knowledge of Monty Python might aid in saving existence.


-I wonder when Dumbledore's gonna finally make an honest man outta Gandalf?


-I'm watching Troll 2 with the family right now. It's important for my kids to see the classics.


-Just got to introduce my daughters to the song "Big Balls" by AC/DC. I think they're still disturbed.


-FACT: My wife's phone is ALWAYS on low battery.


-Great! Now I have to explain to my daughters what an underage trailer park whore is! Thanks, neighborhood!


-BELA: "Can homeless people talk? Because why do they all have signs?"


-Disney's Tangled is now on the Netflix instant que. So is Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive. Both great family movies.


-When I get all the a/c vents in the car pointing towards me I feel like King Super Pimp.


-When is science going to invent a HOT snow? Regular snow is just too darn cold!


-Amy Winehouse dying is sad news to all the cracked out, british fuglies out there. It's not that I cant believe she died but that I cant believe that she lived this long.


-You try to break into my house and my guard duck will kick your butt!


-Nothing funnier than watching white people try and dance at a wedding.


-Word from the business front is that Borders bookstore went out of business solely because of my portrail of the evil and sinister Dr. Borderz at story time.


-STEVE GEE: FEEL THE MEXCELLENCE!

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