NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

We Are FREE!!!

MY OTHER WIFE IS GONE! LONG LIVE THE GALINDISTAS!


They are gone! Yes! After a year of their invasion of my house my "other wife" and her angry kids are finally gone for good! Lees and her rude, angry kids are gone from our house forever! We are alone again in this house, finally, after a whole year of having her mooch off of us and treat us like crap.


YAY!





Life After Lisa


No more kids touching all our stuff. No more late nights of kids up hours past their bedtime. No more kids yelling that they hate their mom and that their mom is stupid and nno more mom doing nothing about it. No more little girls taking stuff of ours and claiming it's theirs.


No more.


We are finally free.


I am so amazingly happy I feel like I should be doing some end of Return of the Jedi type celebrating, Ewok-style...




After a year, the Galindo family lives again!

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Accident ...




This is what happened.


Yesterday afternoon, while trying to get onto the freeway, a white sports car tried to cut us off and in the process almost sideswiped us. My pregnant wife, who happened to be driving, was so distracted trying to save us from the near accident that she did not see that the traffic in front of us was stopping. I warned my wife and she hit the brakes but it wasn't enough and we rammed hard into the car in front of us.


Gnarls Barkley: Run


We are all fine. The impact didn't hurt us. Isabela said she was hurt but the buckling of the seat belt and the moment of impact shocked her more than anything else. Natasha is now in a bit of pain. However, we are all pretty much certain that the pain she is in is the result of normal pregnancy pains and not anything accident related. Still, we are calling her doctor today to make sure and maybe try to get an appointment today for her to be seen.


So, again, we are all fine.


Wish we could say the same about our car.


We are leaking power steering fluid, the radiator is cracked like crazy, and it is now at some car repair place waiting to see what the cost of it is going to be. It will most definitely end up being something we can't afford.


Yesterday, as we were stranded near Arden Mall, I had to walk over a block to try and meet our ride at the gas station. I stopped into my ...[edited]


I'm trying not to sweat it, though.


Anyway, we are going to try and get a rental car in a little bit.


Wish me luck.


Wind Clan out.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Craft Fair: By The Numbers ...

So my wife took me to the annual Sacraemnto Craft Fair at Cal Expo.


Sigh.


So to make it fun for me I took detailed notes.


Here's the fair my the numbers ...




TIME SPENT AT FAIR: 2 1/2 Hours


BLACK PEOPLE AT FAIR: 11


WHITE PEOPLE AT FAIR: Too Numerous To Count


LATINOS AT FAIR: 2 (Including Me)


PEOPLE WEARING IMAGES OF CATS: 3


WEARING NASCAR CLOTHING: 2


WEARING DISNEY CLOTHING: 9


WOMEN WITH TRAMP STAMPS: 2


MEN WHO LOOKED LIKE WOLFMAN JACK: 3


WOMEN I FOUND ATTRACTIVE: 4 1/2


WOMEN WEARING SWEATER VESTS: 28


WOMEN WHO LOOKED LIKE TEACHERS: Roughly Half

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and stomptokyo.com ...


"I Eat Your Skin (Original title: Zombies) is a 1964 horror film directed by Del Tenney, a film director responsible for several low-budget horror/exploitation films in the 1960s, including the steaming pile of crap known as The Horror of Party Beach (1964).




The film was created in 1964 but it was not released until six years after it was made. Film distributor Jerry Gross needed a film to pair with I Drink Your Blood, one that could, by some stretch of the imagination, be called I Eat Your Skin. That movie surfaced in the guise of Del Tenney's unreleased Voodoo Blood Bath, originally made in 1964. So Gross bought it and paired it on a double bill with I Drink Your Blood and renamed it I Eat Your Skin.


It should be mentioned, however, that the two films have absolutely nothing in common. I Eat Your Skin is cut from very different cloth than its sister piece - it's in Black & White, its attitudes are very early sixties, and it actually has something of a plot with a halfway logical progression, which is not to say that it is any good. Previous titles of the film include Zombie Bloodbath and Voodoo Blood Bath.




Possessing the second slot in the double feature, I Eat Your Skin was the make-out feature, so very few people, I think, actually bothered to see it. The acting isn't necessarily terrible, but neither is it great. There was a reason this film wasn't released for seven years. In the final analysis, the double bill of I Drink Your Blood and I Eat Your Skin works far, far better as a concept than it does as a reality. But then again, what doesn't?"




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Coffee

Fritos

Go-Gurt

Coffee

Internet Porn


... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE! Yeah. That's right. I'm awesome.


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be farted on with extreme prejudice. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!


Friday, March 25, 2011

Just An Excuse To Post Some Free Music ...



My mind feels like a firecracker sometimes.


Most of the time.


All the fucking time.




This post is just an excuse to put up some free music for your punk ass. I wanted to write a big post about how I so desperately want to be a white person, but I'm tired, so I'll write that up later.


Here's some tunes ...


Mel Torme: Swingin' On The Moon

Boney M: Rasputin

Dionne Warwick: Walk On By

Barenaked Ladies: Shoebox

The Doors: Riders On The Storm

Flight of the Conchords: Boom

Rebecca Black: Friday (Screamo Cover)


Later, people.


Wind Clan out.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Star Wars Galindo Girls ...

So Spirit Week is going on at my kids' school. Every day there's some sort of gimmick way that the kids can dress up like. Wow. I almost shat bricks during "Christian Shirt" Day.


Today was "Sci-Fi Day." Isabela was Princess Leia, but she was really pissed that her buns weren't flat.


Emerald didn't want to be a generic jedi and scoured the internet until she found a blond haired, blue eyed, pre-teen jedi named Jedi apprentice Siri Tachi.




Can you believe that?


Anyway, here they are, my amazing Galindo Star Wars girls ...




THESE ARE NOT THE MEXICANS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

My Buca Di Beppo Birthday ...






Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Heart The Preacher Baby ...

My whole family and I love watching preacher baby!


This new video with subtitles has been removed from youtube because the original dumb bible belt rednecks who recorded this thing have had it pulled. Apparently they don't know how impossible it is to "erase" something from the internet.


"Preech awwn, brothur, preech awwn!"


You Ever Notice How Sometimes Clouds Are In HD ...



Monday, March 21, 2011

Names Of Christian Kids Stories From The 1964 Book "Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories" That Could Also Be The Names Of Old, Nasty Porn Movies ...



-Wilfred's Secret

-The Hollow Pie

-Peter Pays Up

-Two Brave Firemen

-The Two Carolines

-Sticking Pins Into Billy

-How Toby Made Peace

-Lazy Laurie Became Mother's Helper

-Love Unlimited

-Peggy's Extra Present

-Seventeen Cowards

-Dennis And The Dive Bombers

-Dad's Discovery

-Diana's Donkey Ride


Galindomas Eve ...

Tomorrow is Galindomas, a holy day in the world of Woodism.


Tomorrow is the day that the world celebrates the birth and life of Reverend Steve Galindo, the founder and Pope of Woodism, the first religion based on Ed Wood's life and films.


Happy Galindomas Eve, everybody!


Here are some pics ...













Tomorrow it's going to be nothing but junk food and bad movies on Netflix for me!


It's gonna be awesome!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and badmovies.org ...


"Death Race 2000 is a 1975 American cult science fiction action film directed by Paul Bartel, and starring David Carradine, Simone Griffeth and Sylvester Stallone. The film takes place in a dystopian American society in the year 2000, where the murderous Transcontinental Road Race has become a form of national entertainment. The screenplay is based on the short story 'The Racer' by Ib Melchior.




In the year 2000, America is ruled by an emperor masquerading as the President. With his power, and to preserve that power, he created the Race. Every year, violent role-playing psychopaths are placed behind the wheels of high performance killing machines and sent across the country. Their goal is to run down as many pedestrians as possible, earning points for every person who becomes a screaming pile of road hash. Points for kills are determined by the victim's age and sex (women are worth ten extra points). The nation gleefully subscribes to this gory event, even embraces it.




The film is set at the start of the 20th annual race, during which a resistance group led by Thomasina Paine (Harriet Medin), a lineal descendant of Thomas Paine, one of the original American revolutionaries of the 1770s, is attempting to assassinate Frankenstein and replace him with one of their agents. Disruption of the race by the Resistance is blamed on the French by the state, who are also blamed for ruining the country's economy and telephone system.


Those fucking French bastards!




Roger Ebert gave the film zero stars in his review, deriding it as being in poor taste, unnecessarily gratuitous in both nudity and violence. The movie has long been regarded as a cult hit, and was often viewed as superior to Rollerball, made in the same year; another dystopian science fiction sports film, similarly focusing on the use of sports as an 'opiate'.


Paul W. S. Anderson directed a remake entitled Death Race, which premiered August 22, 2008, starring Jason Statham. Besides Statham, this new version also stars Ian McShane, Joan Allen, and Tyrese Gibson. It also includes a cameo (by voice-over) of David Carradine reprising his role as Frankenstein."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Crackers

Ice Cream

Popcorn

Go-gurt

Boobs



AND NOW Steve Galindo and this blog are pleased to bring you today's Church-less Movie Of The Week absolutely FREE!


Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and all talkers WILL be bitten quitee roughly. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Oh, and remember ...




I love that video. Takes me back.


Anyway, I might make today a double feature, or I might not. I dunno. So stay tuned.


And as always, enjoy the show, y'all!




And here are the Sunday movies I've seen so far ...


December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)
August 22nd: The Brain from Planet Arous (free to watch)
August 28th: Dementia 13 (free to watch)
August 30th Special Monday Night Freebie: The Indestructible Man (free to watch)
September 5th: Alien Trespass
September 12th: The Castle of Cagliostro (Netflix on Demand)
September 19th (part 1): Scream and Scream Again (free to watch)
Septemner 19th (part 2): Dragon Wars (free to watch)
September 26th: cat-Women Of The Moon (free to watch)
October 2nd: The Food Of The Gods (Netflix on Demand)
Woodmas, October 10th: Plan 9 LIVE
October 17th: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (free to watch)
October 24th: Donovan's Brain (free to watch)
October 31st: The Hideous Sun Demon (free to watch)
December 12th: 4-D Man (Netflix on Demand)
December 18th: The Tingler (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Man From Planet X (Netflix On Demand)
December 27th (part 2): Little Shop of Horrors (free to watch)
January 2nd, 2011: The Creature from the Black Lagoon (free to watch)
January 16th: Real Genius (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 1): The Horror of Party Beach (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 2): The Beach Girls and the Monster (free to watch)
January 30th: They Live (free to watch)
February 6th: The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (free to watch)
February 13th: Chained For Life (free to watch)
February 19th: Ghost Rider (free to watch)
February 27th (Godfather of Gore Double Feature): Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs (free to watch)
March 12th: MST3K's Red Zone Cuba (free to watch)

[edited] ...

This is a video.


Some might find it humorous.




That is all.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Wrestlemania Of Ducks ...

Emerald won first place in the science fair at her school for her seven month long mad quest to play god and hatch her own ducks.


And the two live ducks (mixed with my laptop and awesome playlist of videos) were tthe HIT of the science fair!


Check it out ...










We are so damn proud of our little Emerald!


This weekend's bad movie is going to be awesome!


Stay tuned!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

There's No Real Point To This Post ...

There's no real point to this post. It's just a few leftover remainders I have.


For starters, I saw this t-shirt at the mall today and it took all of my strength for me NOT to buy it!




And look!


THIS has to be the absolute STUPIDEST book EVER written!!!




And HERE are some white people ...




Ok. Gotta go cook dinner now.


Remind me to tell you about Emerald's science fair, ok?


Laters.

Monday, March 14, 2011

More Pictures From My Awesome Screensaver ...

My amazing screensaver of photos now has 4,922 pictures and is a whopping 1.99 GB! It's an amazing plethora of pictures to flip thru and me and the kids love it!


Here are a few ...